How do people date someone new (dating, girlfriend, how to, guy)
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....but still keep thinking about their ex before them? I have heard of people doing that. Like they start seeing someone new, and it's serious, but they can't get their ex out of their mind. They are secretly still in love with their ex. I don't get it. I've never experienced it so I'm asking. Why think about your ex when you have someone new in front of you? What do you think is behind this?
....but still keep thinking about their ex before them? I have heard of people doing that. Like they start seeing someone new, and it's serious, but they can't get their ex out of their mind. They are secretly still in love with their ex. I don't get it. I've never experienced it so I'm asking. Why think about your ex when you have someone new in front of you? What do you think is behind this?
It is easily explained although knowing why won't help.
Breaking up with somebody is in some respects like the grief of having your spouse die. Psychology shows there are several stages to grief starting with denial and going through anger, acceptance, etc. Widows and widowers often get help through therapy to understand and get through these stages. It works
In your example above thinking about the ex is motivated by not having yet reached acceptance. On the other hand resumption of dating is the best way to get over loss of a lover or spouse.
I've dated widows and divorcees and I vastly prefer the divorcees because a significant percentage of the widows haven't got over their spouse's death. I had a first date early this year and it was spectacular, and couple days later we already had a date at her country club. Then during the week she became increasingly struck with grief about losing her husband and broke off our date. I tried several times to get another date with her but I'm sure she decided to give up on dating for another year or two.
Some people NEVER truly get over that kind of loss. Some people are wired to romantically love many, others a few, and someone just one person. I believe they try to move on because that's what everyone tells them to do, they want to escape dealing with those feelings by themselves, and they may hope that other person can help them move on. Ultimately it's that person's responsibility, no one else's.
....but still keep thinking about their ex before them? I have heard of people doing that. Like they start seeing someone new, and it's serious, but they can't get their ex out of their mind. They are secretly still in love with their ex. I don't get it. I've never experienced it so I'm asking. Why think about your ex when you have someone new in front of you? What do you think is behind this?
It's difficult for some people to let go and move forward if they weren't the one to break it off. They may hold onto a feeling of hope that someday they'll get another chance with that person in the future, even if their ex has moved on and found someone else.
The downside to this way of thinking is that they may currently have a wonderful person in their life, but that'll never be fully realized by them as long as they continue to hang onto the past.
Letting go means giving up the possibility of a reconciliation or future with the person they're privately still fixated on... and for some, that's more than they're willing to do.
I think some people also still have regrets and maybe it still bothers them that they'll never see resolution of whatever issues they're regretting, even if they don't actually still have feelings for the other person? "Gee we argued over this and never fixed it/they left thinking this thing that wasn't true/I wish I hadn't said this other thing to them" etc.?
For others it may be an ego thing, the thought that the ex can get over them and be with someone else and/or be happy without them, even if they don't want to be with that person?
I'm pretty sure the guy I'm seeing still regrets splitting up with his first girlfriend, and when the last one before me contacted him wanting to get back together, he sure was torn about how to respond to her even though he insisted he no longer has feelings for her. (Me, if someone I was formerly with wanted to get back together, it would be an immediate "sorry, not interested." The last guy I was with recently brought up the subject, actually. We're still friends, i still love him dearly... but in a platonic way. Which is pretty much exactly what I told him. No waffling, no wondering what to say and how to say it. If you're truly over the person, what's to think about? Shouldn't you know how you feel, and be able to tell that to the person, immediately? In his case, if he's truly "over" her, he may just not want to let go of the ego trip of knowing she still wants him, even if he doesn't actually want to be with her, so maybe enjoys her attempts and doesn't want them to stop... kind of goes back to my second paragraph in a way?)
....but still keep thinking about their ex before them? I have heard of people doing that. Like they start seeing someone new, and it's serious, but they can't get their ex out of their mind. They are secretly still in love with their ex. I don't get it. I've never experienced it so I'm asking. Why think about your ex when you have someone new in front of you? What do you think is behind this?
I think some people start dating before they are truly ready to. There's also the saying "The best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else." which is often the approach used in dating after relationships.
Some of these people try to get over their ex by dating, but they often find that it doesn't work. One of the reasons I don't recommend getting out of a relationship straight into dating. Feelings need to be processed.
want someone to cuddle with, too cheap to afford an escort; so they get the person at the bar instead and end up in a messy situation because they didn't want to spend nights alone
what do you call the rebound person of the rebound?
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