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I don't know if you saw my post, because of the nature of forums. I'll post again. I have Asperger's. Married 25 years. Don't know how to flirt, never did. Never kissed a boy until I was 18, only ever went on a couple of "dates" that were awkward and painful and never went anywhere.
Dating does not have to be a competitive sport with winners and losers, in spite of what some people post here.
I met my husband of 25 years (not on the spectrum) through other people, who suggested we might like each other because they knew us well. We saw each other in social situations here and there. One day we went out with just the two of us for a hike and then dinner. Been a couple ever since. There was no flirting, no game, no "approach". Just people who liked being with each other and found each other attractive after getting to know each other. My husband finds my take on the world interesting, and we make a great team.
It is totally possible to find a relationship when one's social skills are different than NT people. But if you see your preferred sex as some sort of prize for playing the game correctly, it's going to be many times harder.
I did see it but I can’t talk normal like most people and for that reason only have been shut down every time I talk to a woman I’d like to get to know. I don’t know, maybe the natural way I talk is how I get to know someone.
So learn to uncringe your speech. People do. Again, counseling can help with this.
People without Asperger’s can and do. I’ve been to consueling for years and don’t notice a difference because my brain isn’t wired to talk normal like most people, no matter how hard I try. I can’t ask for a $3500 refund so I’ll accept that my life will get worse, faster or slower.
Last edited by AspergersSucks; 12-24-2018 at 10:53 AM..
If God promises nothing that “without Christ is impossible” (Phil 4.13) and yet I can’t fix a simple communication deficit that prevents me from being on a FIRST DATE, where is God’s love?
Last edited by AspergersSucks; 12-24-2018 at 11:38 AM..
People without Asperger’s can and do. I’ve been to consueling for years and don’t notice a difference because my brain isn’t wired to talk normal like most people, no matter how hard I try. I can’t ask for a $3500 refund so I’ll accept that my life will get worse, faster or slower.
If you're not getting results after a reasonable amount of time then find a better one. Ultimately it's a matter of practice makes perfect. When you're outside your counseling sessions how much time do you spend talking to regular people you encounter?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AspergersSucks
If God promises nothing that “without Christ is impossible” (Phil 4.13) and yet I can’t fix a simple communication deficit that prevents me from being on a FIRST DATE, where is God’s love?
First thing to do is get ahold of yourself, I can see your OCD and anxiety which isn't helping anything.
You"talk" fine, it's your choice of words that suck... People that stutters and only know a few words in English have better success. Hell you could even get some dates by handing out a business card in a busy area with your number on one side and a proposition to lunch/coffee, never even saying a word to them.
Stop blaming it on Asperger's, eventually it is"you" speaking and not some illness taking for you. Learn to own your own self, you didn't get born with another one so you got no choice. Women blame hormones for their bad attitude sometimes and no one buys that excuse either.
You"talk" fine, it's your choice of words that suck... People that stutters and only know a few words in English have better success. Hell you could even get some dates by handing out a business card in a busy area with your number on one side and a proposition to lunch/coffee, never even saying a word to them.
Stop blaming it on Asperger's, eventually it is"you" speaking and not some illness taking for you. Learn to own your own self, you didn't get born with another one so you got no choice. Women blame hormones for their bad attitude sometimes and no one buys that excuse either.
This. When you let your identity define you, it will consume you. You'll forever stagnate, never grow, and never fulfill your potential if you go down that path.
It doesn’t work like that. Once friends, always friends and that’s because I don’t have the attractive qualities like social skills and conservation skills that make me dating material. I never go into a friendship expecting more. But the fact is that my disorder make everything unfairly difficult and I don’t have to tell anyone because people know how awkward I am.
Everyone here who does not have Asperger’s should consider themselves lucky.
Oh ok thank you for the explanation.
I am sorry but still hold to asking people out to do things like cycling, hiking, etc.. I will need to think about where you could go to meet people similar to yourself. That is key
It doesn’t work like that. Once friends, always friends and that’s because I don’t have the attractive qualities like social skills and conservation skills that make me dating material. I never go into a friendship expecting more. But the fact is that my disorder make everything unfairly difficult and I don’t have to tell anyone because people know how awkward I am.
Everyone here who does not have Asperger’s should consider themselves lucky.
The fact you can make bonds with friends including female ones shows you have capabilities to connect with people and aren’t a hopeless cause
They’res people on the spectrum who can’t connect with people at all
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