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I was married to a man with sleep apnea. I can't sleep with ear plugs because feeling something in my ears is annoying in itself. I slept on the couch many times - and could still hear him through a closed door.
It all depends on how bad the snoring is. I'm married to a woman who's snoring is so bad that even with the bedroom door closed, you can hear the snoring from the far side of the house. We ended up having to sleep in separate bedrooms and have been doing so for the last fifteen years. In spite of that, I still have to sleep with a white noise machine just to drown out the snoring. In separate bedrooms. Both with the doors closed.
To those who snore and refuse to do anything about it, I wish you all the luck in your future relationships. Especially in your marriage. Nothing will affect intimacy more than being forced to sleep apart. At that point in time, you're mere roommates.
Loudness matters. And to me, breathing rate—and therefore snoring interval—matter just as much. I cannot sleep if someone is breathing loudly and faster than I do. Period. It is like a metronome that keeps my body from slowing down into sleep. Seriously, this is as unbearable as hearing someone sing or play out of tune.
My husband sometimes snored so loudly I could hear it even if I slept on the floor above him! To make things worse, his respiratory rate when sleeping is bizarrely high. I remember our dogs would occasionally snore, but it was slow enough and soft enough I didn’t mind. It was almost soothing.
With advancing age, I, too, began snoring, albeit not every night and not as loudly.
Snoring sucks, no matter who is doing it. The more separation between sleeping rooms, the better.
Chronic loss of sleep is a big, big deal. JrzDefector nailed it by saying “Sleep deprivation is torture.”
This is not an insurmountable problem. First, he needs to man up and see a doctor. If he loves you he will do it. It may also save his life if he has sleep apnea.
I have been married for 29 years. My DH did see a doctor about his snoring, but there was nothing to be done. He has had people in hotel rooms pounding on the wall to try to shut him up.
Don't listen to people saying you will just end up like roommates if you have separate rooms. It doesn't affect your sex life. You can have sex before going to bed, when you wake in the morning, or you can go wake him up in the middle of the night if the mood hits you. Sleep and sex have little to do with one another, except you will have more energy for it ( and everything else) if you are well rested.
DH doesn't snore as badly as he once did and a couple hours before rising it slacks off enough so that if I wake up I go crawl in bed with him. If he is tired he can bring down the house with his snoring. I tried earplugs, I tried making him turn over. If it takes sleeping in separate beds to get a good night's rest, and the relationship is otherwise a good one, it is well worth it.
"He's not overweight but he stops breathing for a few seconds."
If he doesn't want to consider checking for sleep apnea, he can always just wait until the 'few seconds' possibly become permanent
Husband snores, I'm a light sleeper, and ear plugs fix the problem.
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My bf snores. I have those soft foam earplugs that form to the ears. It works well because I can sleep and his snoring no longer bothers me. What does get to me is that he hogs the bed sometimes and I only have a queen sized bed. So I have to poke him in the ribs to get him to move back over to his side and it's all good.
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