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I'm a gay man who owns a home and I allow my mother/Grandma to move in with me. I am in the closet but my dating life is next to nothing.
My family also does not support gay relationships, but I feel like I will never have a love life because of this. I'm like a few years from 30 and feel stuck in my life.
Is it normal or horrible to bring a significant other home to spend time with? It is my own home so I feel like I should but I do not want to disrespect my family.
Even in your own home, you are a prisoner because you are not being yourself. As long as you are in the closet, you will be forced to live according to your elders’ rules.
I am a 66 year old mother & grandmother. Please be honest with them about your sexual orientation and that you will be entertaining dates in your house and they will be sleeping in your room (if that is what you want to do). And, if your mother and/or grandmother are not happy with that situation they can move out and buy their own house.
It would be a different situation if you lived in the home owned by your mother and/or grandmother as you would need to follow their rules or at least come to some type of agreement. IMHO, it is your house so it is your rules. Your mother and grandmother are living with you in your house so you are the one in charge. Please do not give up the chance to find someone to date and someone who loves you just because your mom/grandmother are not mature enough to understand that you are gay.
I'm a gay man who owns a home and I allow my mother/Grandma to move in with me. I am in the closet but my dating life is next to nothing.
My family also does not support gay relationships, but I feel like I will never have a love life because of this. I'm like a few years from 30 and feel stuck in my life.
Is it normal or horrible to bring a significant other home to spend time with? It is my own home so I feel like I should but I do not want to disrespect my family.
When you first decided to share your home with your mother/grandmother surely you thought about this? I appreciate how difficult that conversation would have been then, but now the chickens have come home to roost. If they refuse to accept your way of life despite being a responsible adult in charge of your own affairs, you are either going to have to sit down and tell them how things will be going forward, or ask them to make other arrangements. They should not be dictating what you do with your life. Your home is yours. Consider that being secretive or dishonest with them is also a form of disrespect.
Don't hide. You are making this more difficult while not being honest. Do you live in a very traditional town where your lifestyle is not accepted?
A couple of lesbian friends of mine moved because they were being judged so harshly. You need to find where you fit and be comfortable where you are. Start off 2019 fresh.
And yes, it's perfectly normal to want to bring a date or SO to your house. It's not horrible. As someone else said, it's time to be honest with your mother and grandmother. If they don't like it, they can move.
To the person that gutlessly decided to rep me on my above comment in order to send me a crazy lesson about the supposed reasons for homosexuality, if you truly think that is accurate have the courage to espouse your nonsense publicly instead of hiding behind anonymity.
I can guarantee you that of the many lesbians and gay men I've known in my life, not one of them experienced anything you described.
I can also predict the single study you would cite as evidence. To that, I would say that correlation is NOT causation. The researchers behind that single study very clearly point that out. One learns that in Psych 101 and introductory statistics.
Exactly! I can understand why the OP might be uncomfortable having someone sleep over while his relatives are living there (I would be uncomfortable too and I’m not gay), but it’s his house so he should be able to do whatever he wants. His mother and grandmother will just have to adjust...or move out.
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