Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-28-2018, 03:06 PM
 
Location: San Diego
10 posts, read 5,210 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

I have been dating a married woman for almost three years.

I met Renee in 1991, she was a single mother and our neighbor. I was married with three small children. We just hit it off, she became a good friend, baby sitter etc. Our children played together, we talked and enjoyed each other's company. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, a former model very tall, very thin and graceful. Men are attracted to her, she would light up a room when she enters, yes one of those type of ladies.

Renee ended up moving, she rented one of my grandmother's condos and at times I would go over and fix or repair things.

About three years later my job transferred me from San Diego to Richmond VA. About a week before we moved she confessed her love to me, I was shocked cause I am just some average guy. I was happily seduced several times before I moved, I justified it in my head cause I was moving, my bad.

So i move back east, two years later she marries a guy in the military and moves to Florida. In 1998 I move back to San Diego. We chat once or twice a year and sent Christmas cards to one another.

In 2005 her family and her five kids move back to San Diego. We talked a few times compared notes on how our kids were doing.

In March of 2016 I got divorced, three months later I looked up Renee, she files for a legal seperation from her husband. I was thinking wow, this is great news. Someone I use to know, someone I knew that I liked was in the same situation as me.

In July we have lunch and begin to talk on the phone. She wants a divorce but wants to wait until Feb 2018 when her twins turn 18 to actually file.

In August we have lunch, it has been twenty years since I have seen her, guess what she is prettier now, serious I don't know how this is even possible. Five foot Nine, blonde, 120 pounds, she is still stunning.

We start dating however she wants to keep it secret until she is ready, so we joined a bowling league and bowl twice a week and date in secret. Okay, she is seperated however still living together with her spouse, renee tells me to be patient.

In Feb she is not quite ready and asks for another year, Feb 2019

In August 2018 someone sends an anonmyous note to her husband letting him know whats going on, he shows up at the bowling alley, we deny everything, she is not allowed to bowl or talk to me anymore. She gets a burner phone and calls me, begs me to hang in there and wait until spring 2019. In October we start up again however I cannot see her but a couple times a month, before it was a couple times a week.;

What happens when spring comes and she still has not left her husband? What the hell have I got myself into. I am totally in love, I have known her for almost 30 years. I know she is not playing me, I know she loves me. It kills me inside knowing she is still married.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-28-2018, 03:10 PM
 
23,177 posts, read 12,202,565 times
Reputation: 29353
She isn't leaving her husband. And she isn't "separated" from him if she is still living with him and he can exercise control over where she goes and who she sees.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 03:22 PM
 
19,968 posts, read 30,200,655 times
Reputation: 40041
when you play with fire......you get singed...


this is up to you......if you believe she is genuine and worth waiting for then wait..

back off so the husband doesn't shoot you..... and wait.. your waiting is your tribute and sacrifice to her showing you are serious....

whats a few months when it can be decades after that??

ive waited many months for a lady.....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 03:43 PM
 
3,639 posts, read 1,596,085 times
Reputation: 5074
What's her excuse for needing more time to be ready?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 03:51 PM
 
Location: My House
34,938 posts, read 36,231,960 times
Reputation: 26552
Well, she lies to you about her weight, so don’t be shocked that she’s lying about the husband. 5’9” and 120? LOL.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 04:01 PM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,631,684 times
Reputation: 12523
If she loves you so much, why is she lying to you? She and her husband are still a couple. If they were over but still living under the same roof, he would not be coming down to the bowling alley to check on the two of you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 04:25 PM
 
5,401 posts, read 6,524,829 times
Reputation: 12017
The whole cheating deal is a game for liars.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:59 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,250 posts, read 18,764,714 times
Reputation: 75145
This woman isn't your "girlfriend" she's just another cheater like you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 06:51 PM
 
1,058 posts, read 675,615 times
Reputation: 1844
She is stringing you along and you are allowing it. She has had you waiting for years to be with her, she has five kids, and she has managed to get you to join a bowling league to have a "secret" affair. She's playing you and she's playing her husband. Sounds to me like you need to test her.

Confront her in FRONT of her husband. All out on the table, everything. I bet he would be very shocked to find out they were separated.

Do it. You need peace of mind. You need to know the truth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2018, 07:52 PM
 
3,639 posts, read 1,596,085 times
Reputation: 5074
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilly9244 View Post
She is stringing you along and you are allowing it. She has had you waiting for years to be with her, she has five kids, and she has managed to get you to join a bowling league to have a "secret" affair. She's playing you and she's playing her husband. Sounds to me like you need to test her.

Confront her in FRONT of her husband. All out on the table, everything. I bet he would be very shocked to find out they were separated.

Do it. You need peace of mind. You need to know the truth.

I think that's a good idea. But why is she stringing him around even a little bit? Meeting him is very risky. I think she has real doubts about her marriage, or it's probably a sexless marriage by now (most likely).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:24 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top