"After 20 Years Of Marriage, I Discovered My Husband Was A Sugar Daddy" (cheats, separation)
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Nah, it's just the reality of relationships, all kinds. People often end them because needs are not being met. They cheat for the same reason. No one is arguing personal responsibility. He obviously did it. The issue is shared responsibility.
Yeah no. Cheating is a conscious decision. He knew what the vows were, he said what he said, she said what she said......if he wasn't getting what he wanted, he could've left before cheating. There's no wriggling out of it. At the end of the day the wife didn't put a gun to his head and tell him to cheat.....he did that on his own. However, we can agree to disagree.
Shared responsibility means they BOTH contributed. Not sure how you missed that.
She didn't miss anything.
She, like most responders here, acknowledge that they both let the marriage lapse but disagree with you that the wife contributed to his cheating, which is what you are asserting here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
She owns her role in the demise of the marriage, but she is appalled that he cheated. I don't see how she can escape her role in the latter.
Would be great if people actually read the article, eh?
I read it. He cheated on her while they were still married, kinda the definition of cheating isn't it?
Point is that if you are so unhappy with the marriage then end it BEFORE you move on to something else. Divorce can be complicated or difficult for various reasons, but that's not a legitimate excuse for having an affair and lying about it. I find that cowardly. Tell your partner that you're done and seeking companionship/sex elsewhere beforehand.
No one is driven to cheating, they have the option to choose to leave the situation before starting a new relationship.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
That's funny. If you think you're due fidelity no matter what, you had better be prepared for a side chick.
People are due fidelity when fidelity is given, until it is re-addressed / re-negotiated /rescinded.
If "fidelity" waxes and wanes depending on how much attention I think I'm giving, or how much attention they think they're getting, then it sure the heck is real fidelity we're talking about.
Why the surprise? Look around. American society has lost most of its various forms of social glue since WW II, and that certainly includes those regarding marriage. Was the guy a sh*t, yeah; but I would have no trouble showing you a woman of my acquaintance who cuckolded her husband (and two children) and then lied furiously when discovered and said her husband was just jealous. Her affair and an attempted affair could have been survived had she not been a lying hypocrite. So, now the family is broken, the two kids are as bitter and hurt as the husband.
Marital scumbaggery abounds.
Like the man said, "Love is forever, as long as it lasts."
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