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Starting 2019 off with a bang, the boyfriend and I have decided to part ways this morning. We have been together almost two years, we met when we separated and going through our divorces, we stuck by each other and leaned on each other for during these tough times, there were times when we had separated in the past but we always knew it was temporary. But this time feels different and I feel heartbroken we had plans to move in together and our children had bonded. But the past few months have been tense, the constant bickering, the stress from the aftermath of two divorces finally took its toll on us and we agreed that as much as we love each other, we weren't happy.
My previous relationships had always ended when we/I wanted it to end, this time its painful. It may be a bit crazy sounding but at 35 im experiencing my first heart break. So im looking for advice on how to distract myself, how to move on, how long will it be before I feel ok again?
Starting 2019 off with a bang, the boyfriend and I have decided to part ways this morning. We have been together almost two years, we met when we separated and going through our divorces, we stuck by each other and leaned on each other for during these tough times, there were times when we had separated in the past but we always knew it was temporary. But this time feels different and I feel heartbroken we had plans to move in together and our children had bonded. But the past few months have been tense, the constant bickering, the stress from the aftermath of two divorces finally took its toll on us and we agreed that as much as we love each other, we weren't happy.
My previous relationships had always ended when we/I wanted it to end, this time its painful. It may be a bit crazy sounding but at 35 im experiencing my first heart break. So im looking for advice on how to distract myself, how to move on, how long will it be before I feel ok again?
Sorry to hear about your situation.
All you can do is live life like you have been doing. Go to work, Take care of the babies, hang out with friends, pick up a new hobby, exercise, if you're in school study, read a good book, travel (if possible), etc. There are numerous distractions you can engross yourself in. Ultimately, you need to let yourself feel what you feel so you can learn to live with it, and eventually overcome it. I can't tell you how long it will take, because everyone is different. Just let time do its thing.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I was in your shoes this time last year with a breakup a couple days after NYE. Thankfully, I was about to start my next to last semester at grad school so I didn’t have time to dwell about the breakup. Concentrate on your children and stay busy is the best advice I can give.
well, that is GOOD news.
at 35, i had been through several.
none of them were any fun at all.
'How Long Will it be Before i Feel OK Again?'
that is entirely up to you.
my advice:
go full-bore on an exercise routine.
make it hurt so bad you cannot think of anything else.
it took me ~11 months to get back to where i started from.
Distract yourself with the things you love, that keep you busy-- not things that will allow you to think a lot (gym is probably great, painting is probably not). Yes, I have found this out personally. My first big heartbreak came at 22 and it was a doozy. Dance practice saved me... it was the only thing that helped me forget. Being with friends will help because you won't be lonely and they'll be able to distract you with other things (these need to be understanding friends, though, friends who know you will be sad for a while and may get sad suddenly, not friends who think you "just need to get over it" right away or who will immediately be trying to set you up with someone else).
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I know how hard it is. My own relationship is about to end, though it was more expected, so I feel for you. There is never a "good" time of year for this kind of thing, but the holidays are especially rough. I hope you'll be able to start feeling better soon.
Your breakup might not be permanent. I've been fighting with my boyfriend too. Many couples do break up in January , many break ups (in general) are not permanent.
Having said that , I like your "moving on" mindset. That's the best mindset to have at this time. Focus on your health and how grateful you are for it. And your youth. Take care of yourself , sleep well , eat well , fresh air exercise. . .Take some time for yourself and some extra friend time doing fun things. Avoid the " I told you so" types of people. Pay attention to who you allow around you. Especially at this time. And be good to your kids and pets.
You and this guy started seeing each other while you were still married to other people, right? This can't be too much of a shock, can it? Those types of relationships rarely work out. I'm sorry you're hurting, but it's pretty much to be expected0 for a rebound. Hope you heal quickly. A word of advice: take some time off before you jump into another relationship.
Sorry this has happened to you, but you seem to have the right idea in that you want to move forward. Having been down the same road myself a few times, my advice is to do the things you love, be with friends who are supportive of you and do things that you always wanted to do but never had the time. I also found work to be a great distraction.
But I think the best bit of advice I can give you is to only think of him in negative terms - the times he was a jerk, the times he pissed you off, his annoying habits etc. That always worked for me .
You and this guy started seeing each other while you were still married to other people, right? This can't be too much of a shock, can it? Those types of relationships rarely work out. I'm sorry you're hurting, but it's pretty much to be expected0 for a rebound. Hope you heal quickly. A word of advice: take some time off before you jump into another relationship.
We were separated when we met, it was an unintentional lets support each other friendship that progressed to more. I knew the odds were against us.
It will take awhile...I sincerely hope you gain some light bulb moments about how to not fight..bicker or create drama.
I have to go back many years to even recall an arguement...it's just not that important to the relationship. It's poison actually.
I have faith that you'll get thru the first weeks with a new perspective . Til then be good to you.
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