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This is a long story so here it goes. I dated my ex girlfriend for 7 months. She broke up with me because she said I needed to grow up and I was having a hard time holding a job. We went for about a week after we broke up without talking then ended up texting and talking on the phone again like we were still together. We even ended up hanging out a couple times a month and making out and cuddling during this. She said she would get back together with me if I change. Well, I’ve held a decent job for 3 months and we have continued to constantly text and talk and hangout quite a bit. Still didn’t get back together. She takes these out of the blue spells where she will not give me the time of day. These spells last about a week and she will reply with on word texts and if you call and talk to her she will not say anything unless you say something to her, then it’s just one word. Then poof the spells are over. I don’t like them though and it makes me feel like I’ve did something wrong for her to act like that, but I know I’ve not. She has done these spells about 4 times and when it’s over I act liked nothings happened but I told her if she does it again I am through. For now at least. Well I got her her Christmas gift and then on Jan 1st. Poof, a spell starts. She hasn’t been talkative and won’t give me the time of day these past couple of days. What should I do? I don’t wanna lose her for good but this crap of getting the cold shoulder (for no reason albeit is getting old.) I ask her what I did wrong and she insists I’ve done nothing wrong but is still cold and short with me and doesn’t wanna see me. Advice. I was her first boyfriend and I still love her but she says she doesn’t know if she loves me or not (she’s always said this.) I don’t know what to do anymore honestly. I miss her like crazy.
So what makes this girl who is still living with mommy and daddy such a prize? As a pragmatic thing, you want a long term relationship with someone at your income level and on a similar career track.
Encouraging healthy habits is different then a person "demanding" you change.
One is open to discussion...the other is a directive.
I cannot imagine the see saw relationship you are participating in. Hinging on her irratic mindset. Set her loose.
Next time she tries to wiggle into your life tell her you are taking her advice...changing your number and changing who gets to be graced with being in a relationship with you. Then DO IT.
Ask yourself this... Do you want to deal with this for the rest of your life?
Probably not.
Time to move on.
And, if this is someone you never saw as being "the one" anyway - then it matters even less. Still time to move on.
Be careful. If you end it - she will probably suck you back in again by getting back in touch with you. And, it all starts again...
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