If you are still dating, how much of a romantic vs. a pragmatic are you? (girlfriend, long-term)

[blktoptrvl]

I still get messages from younger women (thank god), but when I do, I have to look at their age before I really consider if I should pursue even a opening conversation. This is of course assuming that I don't think they are scammers in the first place. But typically, I find that younger women will say "age is just a number" but I think this is because most of them are too young to know any better.

Then there is distance, seeing a profile and especially a picture that moves you, are you "in for the win" or do you think half way across the country, "I'll be polite, but I know nothing will likely come of this."

International marriage? Again, scammers aside, there are many people out in the world who have interest in marrying outside their country, but chances are you can be financially responsible for them - for life.

So, I am curious. How romantic are we? Do we think love will conquer all? Or do we pause and say, "tempting, but not a good idea!" What are your thoughts and what is your age/range? Are you a spring chicken, or an older yoke?

[The Dissenter]

Definitely 100% pragmatic. International dating? Hell no. LDR? Been there done that, no way. May December romance forget it. I decided to indulge a questionable prospect who I wouldn’t normally seek out one time and it was a disaster. That was enough for me.

[Sassybluesy]

I would say I'm 40% romantic, 60% pragmatic.


I'm married, so it's not like I'm looking. But I met my husband online, and one of the considerations I had, was that he had to be local. (And he was.) AND he's a mix of pragmatic and romantic as well. I like his pragmaticsm very much. I find it to be romantic in itself, as he plans per a vision for both of us. It honestly makes my heart twitter a little when he talks about where WE'LL be and what WE'LL be doing in 10 years...stuff like that...him looking out for my well-being as well as his own... yes, I find that to be romantic.

[deepsix]

I'm 26. If I had responded to this a year ago I would have given a different answer. But I've had a new set of experiences since 2018 began, and with it, my answer changed from something like....40% romantic / 60% pragmatic....

to 85% romantic, 15% pragmatic

I remember a year ago I was teasing my friend about the LDR he had been in for more than a year - and how I could never see myself doing that.

Now, I'm in a relationship with somebody who is not close to my age, who doesn't make much money, and who lives on the opposite side of the country.

The reason I picked 15% pragmatic is because I had to be able to envision a path through which this relationship could work long-term before I was ready to enter it. The other reason I picked 15% is because there was no 90/10 option

The reason I entered the relationship was because I realized what a unique connection I had with her - mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And after experiencing it, I knew almost immediately that the odds of me finding another connection like this in the next 10 or 20 years were slim. So rather than take my chances on finding the perfect person who also happened to live close, I settled for the perfect person who lives far away (for now... hopefully).

And as a side note, it definitely helps that my girlfriend is also a hopeless romantic.

[Chowhound]

I'm a boner killer... pragmatic is 100 percent important to me.......

[Sydney123]

I am more pragmatic than romantic.
I told my mom that my b/f and I are trying to conceive. she remarked that people usually get married before having kids. I said that I wanted to make sure that he could give me strong healthy babies.... before I marry him.

[ThisTown123]

I would say I'm more pragmatic than romantic. This makes me misaligned with women that believe in "instant spark" or "instant chemistry". That pragmatic in me see's no pragmatism in that. lol

[Ann Onn]

I was pragmatic enough not to entertain LDR or extreme age differences. But I wasn't willing to proceed with anyone I was just "meh" about. There had to be a bit of spark/chemistry.


When I chose between two people I was dating, to make it exclusive with one, I went with the one who communicated more about our compatibilities and common interests, rather than the one who talked about my appearance and how much he liked kissing me.


So far so good, over a year later.

[Idkeither]

I am 45 very romantic. I've become a tiny bit practical since I hit my 40s.

[VanMarlton]

50/50. How is that not a poll option? :P