Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
To me your post seems immature and needy. You have been with this person for seven years, you should be discussing your issues with her.
You aren't happy with the status quo of the relationship. Maybe she is very into her career and doesn't see you as a benefit so much as a liability to her future. Maybe she's having a good time without you and wants to keep her options open. You might just be someone to settle for if she doesn't find someone else she's more attracted to.
You don't really know what's going on with her. You spend more time apart than you do together. As someone else said, maybe she's hoping that you'll break it off so that she doesn't have to be the bad guy.
I suggest you ask her how she envisions her future. Are you in it, is there marriage and children, or a dog? Ask her why she doesn't want to spend more time with you.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,577,093 times
Reputation: 7613
Awe..She should be just as anxious to see you as you are to see her. Sry..but 7 yrs is way too long. Moving is something you have to discuss together tho...it's a serious B I G step. But if she doesn't seem excited & anxious to see you, that does not sound like someone you move for. I'm in a LD relationship for 6 months & going crazy. I don't know how you go on wasting 7 yrs. You don't need other people's opinions...you need hers. How does she feel about u? It's time you talked & planned your next step.
OP. Why not just be blunt about it and ask her what she sees in the future for the both of you? Get it all on the table because both of you will need all the facts and feelings out to make a rational decision. And if she waffles or says there is no future, then let her go and do not try to get her back. It will be painful, but for the best. Nothing is worse than a half ass relationship that winds up going nowhere, but the participants are too afraid/comfortable to make a change.
OP. Why not just be blunt about it and ask her what she sees in the future for the both of you? Get it all on the table because both of you will need all the facts and feelings out to make a rational decision. And if she waffles or says there is no future, then let her go and do not try to get her back. It will be painful, but for the best. Nothing is worse than a half ass relationship that winds up going nowhere, but the participants are too afraid/comfortable to make a change.
This exactly! I can never understand why people come to ask strangers about these things but they don't have enough courage to actually ask the person they are in the relationship with. Surely, if you cannot ask your SO these things then your relationship is really not one. There is no way anyone here can know what she is thinking. We can only offer opinions and can only speculate from one side of the story.
OP, just ask her!
After you get your answer, even it it's not what you want to hear, you can pick yourself up and move on. You should think more of yourself than to be in this type relationship.
This bitcoin thing is a problem. OP, you need to get over it. There's nothing you can do about it, and it's pretty weak that you told her to not visit you because you were depressed about selling off your bitcoin before it skyrocketed.
Also, the idea that you "hate her city" is ridiculous. So what?
OP, brush it off. Don't worry about it. She wasn't the right girl for you. You'll find the right one. Don't let them know about your money though, if you have any.
Let them like you for you. That might mean changing your standards, but that's alright. You have to find someone that will take care of you when you're weak. Not many people are up to the task. Are you?
Anyway, you'll be alright. It's not your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done differently to change her behavior. Like I said before, you can't save them.
Well, I was afraid of someone saying that. In fact I have dumped her in the past because of similar reasons more than once, but she was always trying to get me back.. I shouldn't have accepted her I guess, but damn I like her a lot.
Well I guess I have to wrap my head around ending this. It just sucks to kill such a long relationship with someone that I adore so much. My longest one before that was less than 8 months.
I am still open to other opinions tho.
OP, instead of asking her to visit, asking her when she's going to come see you, you need to have a deeper talk with her about the relationship. Ask her where she sees the relationship going, and tell her you thought the two of you were a couple, but it seems lately that she's not really interested. At some point in the conversation, you can tell her you'd hoped the two of you could get closer, and have a committed relationship but it seems that's not possible, so you're not interested in seeing her anymore, if she's not in it with you for the long term.
This is the kind of conversation people have, who have been seeing each other for 7 years. You've been too timid with her. This has left you trying to guess how she feels, instead of simply asking her how she feels. That's what people who are in a relationship do; they ask each other how they feel, or they voice their concerns to their partner, when concerns arise.
In short: communication is an essential part of a solid relationship. You hav en't been communicating your thoughts and feelings.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
