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OP, staying out late is one of the first signs of infidelity and cheating - particularly if it seems the person is not really with co-workers. Actually maybe your spouse is with one particular co-worker staying out late.
I didn't catch how often your spouse is staying out late.... but even once may have indications.
I didn't catch how often your spouse is staying out late.... but even once may have indications.
It’s hard to pin down the details. It turns out she only works 20 hours a week, and some of it from home, and so ... what is that -maybe five hours here and there “at work” throughout the week? That must mean she’s just mostly gone, somewhere else.
I would have the "are we okay talk" with her. Be honest. Tell her you are concerned re her staying out late. Ask her to talk with you re that. Please be respectful, non-accusatory and calm. If she is not receptive to discussing the issue with you, that alone would be telling to me. If one, or both, parties in a relationship is not willing to communicate and discuss concerns with the other, what really is the point of the union--zero!
If she blows you off, hire a private investigator to follow her. I would not take that route because if I ever felt I had to hire a PI to follow my partner, I would leave the relationship. Complete waste of time and life.
My best to you. I know these issues can draw you down and take up full-time residency in your mind and heart. Is it really worth that?
Yes that's the problem. I never thought for a moment that she was cheating. It's the house. It's messy and disorganized.
You don't know how to clean and organize? How did she live before you were married? If she was never tidy and organized you can't expect her to change.
Wait for a time when you’re both calm, and tell her you have somethings you want to discuss with her. Don’t accuse her of things, if you start by being offensive, she will get defensive and fight or shut down. Tell her how you feel. Don’t start with who what where like it’s an interrogation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterShipWreck
Great advice posted here.
If that does not work, i would follow her 1 night, or have a friend do it. See what she is up to....
How long have you been married?
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12
OP, staying out late is one of the first signs of infidelity and cheating - particularly if it seems the person is not really with co-workers. Actually maybe your spouse is with one particular co-worker staying out late.
I didn't catch how often your spouse is staying out late.... but even once may have indications.
I agree w/ the above posts. Plus, it doesn't even matter if she's 2, 5, 10 hrs, etc. late after work's over. The fact is that this is NEW & DIFFERENT BEHAVIOR, it seems & her saying just "out w/ friends" is way too vauge an answer for me.
OP, if you were a woman saying this about your husband, everyone will be saying probably CHEATING. Well, there's a lot of bad women out there too who cheat, are not meant to be wives, mothers, etc. too. There's still a lot more men out there like that, but there's a lot of bad women out there too!
I'd definitely, definitely try my best to follow her. Do this:
- Rent a car so she doesn't recognize your car
- Wear a hat, wig/mustache &/or sunglasses so she can't see/recognize your face
- Wait across the way where she parks for work
- Follow her all night & have video ready to record OR take tons of pictures so you have evidence so you can tell her she's telling bold-faced lies when you confront her & she lies about what she's doing
- Start proceedings to get divorced because unless you want someone who you don't know when she's telling the truth or when she's lying & she's probably lying most or all the time, then that's a miserable, hopeless marriage.
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