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As someone else said, can you see yourself dealing with this forever? I don't think you need to see anyone to talk to, this guy you are dating is obviously an idiot. Men stare at women, yes. But you don't act like that in front of your own woman. I really think it's time to move on.
If someone is being disrespectful towards you, you have to call them out immediately on it. How do you know it's disrespectful? It hurts your feelings.
How many times did he hurt your feelings? Now, don't get me wrong, females have different tactics and perhaps one of them is to wait it out like a cat and spring when he is least expecting, so a guy may resort to hiding if you call him out early.
However, if the person you are with lacks empathy, that person is not for you. You must remember what brought you together and restore that, but in such a way where he doesn't treat you as if you and your opinion don't matter.
There is a level of balance in every relationship. Work to maintain that balance by holding that line of separation or it will topple.
The guy IÂ’m with is older and his behaviour is very caring and loving towards me.
HeÂ’s quite shy and is someone who tries to avoid issues and problems wherever he can. ..
It doesn't sound like he's all that "caring and loving" towards you, or he wouldn't be gawking at other girls like he does...or carrying on with them on social media....(they probably think he's caring and loving towards them as well).........
That's not something that someone who loves you would do, not when it hurts your feelings like it does.
He doesn't sound shy at all...and he definitely doesn't sound like he "tries to avoid issues and problems"....unless of course his "problem" is you feeling hurt by his interactions with sooooo many other women.
Doesn't sound like a promising (or positive) relationship to me...just a lot of heart ache for you....and it doesn't sound like you're "over thinking" his actions either....though I could see him telling you that.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman
It doesn't sound like he's all that "caring and loving" towards you, or he wouldn't be gawking at other girls like he does...or carrying on with them on social media....(they probably think he's caring and loving towards them as well).........
That's not something that someone who loves you would do, not when it hurts your feelings like it does.
He doesn't sound shy at all...and he definitely doesn't sound like he "tries to avoid issues and problems"....unless of course his "problem" is you feeling hurt by his interactions with sooooo many other women.
Doesn't sound like a promising (or positive) relationship to me...just a lot of heart ache for you....and it doesn't sound like you're "over thinking" his actions either....though I could see him telling you that.
Very well said! Any situation where you feel direspected or hurt by behavior, you need to talk to him about it directly. If he refuses to talk about it or acts as though you are the 1 with the problem, then you need to decide what's the next step. It's your life! Don't let him hold you hostage in an unhappy situation. Life is too short.
This reminded me of a guy i met once. I used to have a group of friends back home that i grew up with, we went to different universities but would come back home during the holidays and hit the bars. One year i come back and i get a message from on of my other friends "jen, has a new bf, he's a bit off, hide ur t*** when we go out later." I of course didn't listen, when we met up he was just like OP's boyfriend. He could not stop staring, gushing compliments on everyone else except her, but would also get quite handsy with everyone when we hit the clubs. At the end of the night he gave everyone a hug and squeezed everyone's ass when we parted, we were drunk so didn't really care but it was shocking to see jen just turn a blind eye to the whole evening. I moved to a different country shortly after university so didn't see him again, but the girls said he was just as bad as the first time we met and Jen would literally pretend she didn't see anything, she did suffer from very low self esteem so maybe that played a big part.
I don't know what you need counseling about. I can tell you right now & I'm an unbiased stranger who can read people very well because I haven't been wrong about people in the past: He sounds like a smart ass, disrespectful narcissist who craves attention who I'm sure would probably cheat on you if the right person & opportunity comes along if he hasn't cheated already.
YOU DON'T NEED HIM, get rid of his ass NOW! He's way too nosy into other people's business (past girlfriends & what they're doing, staring at their pictures, the other woman at work & her relationship, etc). He probably doesn't even stare at YOUR pictures. If he was so happy & satisfied in his OWN relationship, he wouldn't give a flying fig about any other woman.
And regarding all this calling them gorgeous, etc., he really thinks he's smart! It's all BS on his part to get attention & a rise out of these other women. He sure in hell doesn't respect YOU as his woman by calling every other woman except you all these over-the-top compliments.
YOU DON'T NEED THAT. I'd personally drop him so fast, he won't know what happened. But if it were me, I probably wouldn't have even liked him in the 1st place. You've been w/ him 1 year too long, don't you dare waste any more time on this smart as b@$t@rd.
Again, trust me, he's trash & you're not losing a thing by dumping him.
Again I have a good judge of character & I'll tell about one example. When I first met my now fiance's twin brother, I never liked him the moment I met him & I was right. My fiance' gave him way too many chances & it took him much later to see his true colors & now wants nothing to do w/ him.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 02-04-2019 at 09:39 AM..
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It doesn't sound like he's all that "caring and loving" towards you, or he wouldn't be gawking at other girls like he does...or carrying on with them on social media....(they probably think he's caring and loving towards them as well).........
