Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You aren't comfortable with moving forward at this time. That's what is important here. You are not responsible for her. She is an adult. If she is as good a worker as you say she should be able to have good references from her previous employer and find a job. Normal people don't do flaky things like move in with someone they've only known for 3 months -- particularly when the other person isn't that enthused about it.
No I like women who don't put me behind everything else, after dating a few workaholic women the opposite would seem like a breath of fresh air.
Funny you should say that cyphors it is l tell ya. l had one of those to , ex w, never again.
l actually like that she only works part time and she was doin just fine anyway before l come along. Suits my lifestyle because l have a business.
She use to work a lot more and she does own a unit but that's leased out she rents something else instead.
She's happy to sell the unit later on if we're all good.
You aren't comfortable with moving forward at this time. That's what is important here. You are not responsible for her. She is an adult. If she is as good a worker as you say she should be able to have good references from her previous employer and find a job. Normal people don't do flaky things like move in with someone they've only known for 3 months -- particularly when the other person isn't that enthused about it.
7mths , but only 3 and 1/2 in person. But yeah it's perfect timing for her she's gotta find more work and sign a new lease anyway, but yeah it is a bit soon for me.
Trouble is if she goes ahead and does all that though we're apart another 12mths then and still tripping up and back. A few more months would be good but 12's too long.
l dunno
You aren't comfortable with moving forward at this time. That's what is important here. You are not responsible for her. She is an adult. If she is as good a worker as you say she should be able to have good references from her previous employer and find a job. Normal people don't do flaky things like move in with someone they've only known for 3 months -- particularly when the other person isn't that enthused about it.
^^This is the bottom line.
The fact that she's presumably in her 40s or 50s and quickly running out of savings is also not a good sign, IMO.
She;s been through divorce too moved interstate and was loading money onto paying of her unit until l came along, nothin wrong with that it's making her a lot more than what it would sittin in the bank.
l have 3 properties too but not much savings , divorce and stuff. Be nice if life was a text book but things happen and we do our best,
Anyway , the whole point is if she wants to stay there longer now she's gotta sign another 12mth lease and find new work and we have to go back and forth for another 12 mths.
Anyway , the whole point is if she wants to stay there longer now she's gotta sign another 12mth lease and find new work and we have to go back and forth for another 12 mths.
lt's a damn tough call .
Is it possible for her to go on a month to month lease? She can ask.
Distance makes you ask questions you're not ready to ask and make decisions you're not ready to make in relationships.
If you both lived in the same city, you could date in normal circumstances. As it is now, one of you will have to make a major move that may not be worth it in order to figure out if you're really meant to be together.
I think you really just need to pull back and let her sort out her life. No need to call it off OR move it forward. She just has some decisions to make.
I’m sure she feels like she’s made an investment in this situation with you. Putting time and effort into your home, helping in your business. Why should she continue to make the sacrifices of all that time spent traveling and helping you out, instead of working on her own house, career and future? Because you’ve obviously given her the impression she has a future with you. You aren’t supporting her, and wouldn’t be if she moved in. She can get a job there, or you can pay her for the work she already does in your business.
I don’t envy your position, it seems like she has way more invested in this relationship than you. If her lease is up and she has to find another job where she is, don’t count on her being the one able and willing to make all of the sacrifices.
I’m sure she feels like she’s made an investment in this situation with you. Putting time and effort into your home, helping in your business. Why should she continue to make the sacrifices of all that time spent traveling and helping you out, instead of working on her own house, career and future? Because you’ve obviously given her the impression she has a future with you. You aren’t supporting her, and wouldn’t be if she moved in. She can get a job there, or you can pay her for the work she already does in your business.
I don’t envy your position, it seems like she has way more invested in this relationship than you. If her lease is up and she has to find another job where she is, don’t count on her being the one able and willing to make all of the sacrifices.
This is my thoughts too. She helps him with his business and helping in the home and garden which OP happily accepts and he is also ok with her making the 12 hr trip. Of course OP wants to continue the relationship as it is, he doesn't have to do f-all.
Sooner or later she will realize that she is the one always giving. If she gets a new job she will no longer have the time or vacation days to make the 12 hr trip. If she has no ties in her current city she could move to his and look for an apartment and job there. There are places that will allow her to sublet, but maybe having her so close would be an issue too because OP seems to miss his alone time. Talk about wanting your cake....
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
