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I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks. I am 55 and he is 45. I look much younger than 55.
We met at our apartment bldg but then he bought a house and moved. He was going on a business trip and asked me to watch his house and his dog while he was away for about 4-5 days. This happened a few times.
One day, when I was about to go home because he was coming back from his trip, he called and asked me to wait for him. He came home, and we ended up hanging out for the rest of the night.
We saw each other a few after that, I met his sister & both his kids.
But now it seems whenever we make plans, something comes up for him. I was hoping to see him over Labor Day but he never returned my text/calls.
Finally I texted him and asked him if was just trying to blow me off. After a few hours, he wrote back and said that he is just really busy with work and all and that it didn't mean he didn't want to see me.
I just don't understand why he would start a romantic relationship with me and then he doesn't want to see me.
Should I just let things be and maybe he will come around again? We have a really good time together.
Busy happens to the best of us. Don't chase him. You can let him know that you're interested when he comes available, and let it go from there. If he makes time, then he's interested. If you never hear back from him, he's not. Continue living your life and doing your thing. Sure, how he went about communicating is not very grown up and mature, but coming off at the clingy woman isn't, either.
I'm surprised he'd introduce you to sister and kids after only knowing you a few weeks. At this point, all you can do is wait and see. You don't even know him well enough to know how his work demands ebb and flow. You hardly know this guy. Give it time, if he's willing to do the same.
Maybe he liked you at first but then thought you would make a better house sitter in the end. It sounds like he's just not that into you. Not to be rude but at your age should know all this by now! Move on, make friends.
I've learned this the hard way sometimes...we teach others how to treat us. Value yourself and do your own thing; don't be so available and you are at the mercy of other people's schedules and lives.
I'm a big believer that if they wanted to see you they would make time to see you. Even if it was "Hey, I've had a horrible day, and have to get up early but would love to see you for dinner."
Heck, you live within WALKING distance.
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He was all excited about you in the beginning and then something happened, or he learned something about you, and he lost interest. That's how I see it...
what's his relationship history? divorced with kids? never married?
sometimes guys later in life only want relationships on their terms, especially if they have been divorced. after a divorce, it takes a while for a guy to rediscover his autonomy and independence, but once they get it back it's different. they are not as "commitment oriented", so as long as you guys are together and enjoy each other's company when he wants, that works for him.
sounds like you want him to consider you needs, but it's not a priority, or at least isn't able to compete with his desire for personal space and relationship limits. but you may be able to talk through it too. sounds fairly understandable, it could be as easy as reminding him that his shoe is untied. good luck.
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