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I haven’t read this entire thing because I tire and get sleepy when I read too much, but like any good novel, just reading the first page and the conclusion while skimming the rest pretty much does the job.
The fundamental problem is that your audience here is a whole buncha middle-aged and older ladies who have too much time and a good internet connection on they hands. They sharks Bro...and you be diving dressed in a dolphin suit with your “Imma 40yo playa and I like huntin’ 19yo shorties at da club!” business.
They know that a playa’s gotta play...but that don’t mean they gone like it.
Obviously, you’re hurting these days cause you had another little girlie hooked, but the line broke before you got her in the net. She ran to her momma and poppa to cry like a little girl which left you in the really weird spot of meeting her daddy at her dorm room. You and that dude went to middle school together and look at what a loser he is now...all dressed in his Haggar slacks while you sportin’ the tight True Religion jeans!
Anyway, my advice is simple: The game’s changing a bit now that you 40...but the game is not lost!
You gotta keep the tight jeans, the tight low-cut short sleeve shirts, and make sure you go to the barber to keep that fade haircut tight every week. However, you will have now graduated to Sugar Daddy status so the new rule is: “No money, no honey!”
It sucks Bro, but you have got to spend even more cash on the shorties to keep them around these days. Now is the time to start acting on those long held plans to grow and expand your Ice Cream truck business. Making a few bucks here and there going over your current route ain’t gonna fly no more...you need to get aggressive and take that truck over by the new mall and go head-to-head against that Baskins that’s doing really well. Maybe even get a new and bigger truck once the money’s flowin...mix up the truck music a bit too.
You’re in the game, so you got to be in it to win it! I don’t make the rules, I just play the game...
The internet is suffering a wisdom drain for a few moments because all the wisdom is here. Right here
I haven’t read this entire thing because I tire and get sleepy when I read too much, but like any good novel, just reading the first page and the conclusion while skimming the rest pretty much does the job.
The fundamental problem is that your audience here is a whole buncha middle-aged and older ladies who have too much time and a good internet connection on they hands. They sharks Bro...and you be diving dressed in a dolphin suit with your “Imma 40yo playa and I like huntin’ 19yo shorties at da club!” business.
They know that a playa’s gotta play...but that don’t mean they gone like it.
Obviously, you’re hurting these days cause you had another little girlie hooked, but the line broke before you got her in the net. She ran to her momma and poppa to cry like a little girl which left you in the really weird spot of meeting her daddy at her dorm room. You and that dude went to middle school together and look at what a loser he is now...all dressed in his Haggar slacks while you sportin’ the tight True Religion jeans!
Anyway, my advice is simple: The game’s changing a bit now that you 40...but the game is not lost!
You gotta keep the tight jeans, the tight low-cut short sleeve shirts, and make sure you go to the barber to keep that fade haircut tight every week. However, you will have now graduated to Sugar Daddy status so the new rule is: “No money, no honey!”
It sucks Bro, but you have got to spend even more cash on the shorties to keep them around these days. Now is the time to start acting on those long held plans to grow and expand your Ice Cream truck business. Making a few bucks here and there going over your current route ain’t gonna fly no more...you need to get aggressive and take that truck over by the new mall and go head-to-head against that Baskins that’s doing really well. Maybe even get a new and bigger truck once the money’s flowin...mix up the truck music a bit too.
You’re in the game, so you got to be in it to win it! I don’t make the rules, I just play the game...
Classic rigid American puritanical Lutheran values. I can't stand it. This guy lives in some European or other country where none of these paradigms or perspectives apply.
Apparently the girl's "European" parents have the same Classic rigid American puritanical Lutheran (that's a random slam) values, since they kicked him out of the house.
OP, here is what you said at the opening to your first post:
You admit, repeatedly, that you screwed up in multiple ways. Yet now, you're getting defensive, and sound like you're denying you did anything wrong. What happened, between your first words on this forum, and your later posts? Suddenly, you're not so contrite.
You also ask for advice on how to avoid making similar mistakes in the future. We told you. But you're rejecting that advice.
So tell us; why are you really here? It doesn't seem to be for advice or feedback.
If you came here for advice on how to get with women half your age without freaking them out, or upsetting them due to the subterfuge you employ, you came to the wrong place, just FYI.
Or congratulations for being able to look younger/net younger women? (Because much of what he posts is about how young and fit he looks, and then listing the younger women who have gone for him.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by behindthescreen
OP knew if he told her up front he was 20 years older she wouldnt have dated him at all period.
If it was something that happened where they casually met and there turned out to be an age misunderstanding no big deal.
BUT the OP is purposely hanging around these places to prove to himself that he is still young and not being fully honest and deceitful.
Exactly. I get that OP may feel people won't give him a chance based solely on his age. It sucks to think someone might reject you based on something outward when they might like your personality if they'd bother to get to know it (try being a woman who isn't "hot"), so I assume he's hoping by the time she finds out about the age, she'll like him enough that she'll ignore it. But, since he knew she would have a problem with it, he should have disclosed. (If someone has that much problem with age, or some other factor, that otherwise-compatibility wouldn't overcome it, then it's best not to spend the time on them anyway.)
I know there are women out there who like older men. There are probably even dating websites devoted to it. There are probably even dating websites devoted to it that aren't sugar-daddy websites. The OP would do better there than at clubs where only young people hang out (and where, presumably, they hang out because they're interested in meeting people their own age-- or, they'd hang out at places where older people tend to gather, right?).
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousLookingForAdvice
What you write here is something i hear from about 30% of opinions i got about that. Sad enough for someone with age 40. Basically that would mean: When you are of that age, its lost. There is no change, you can never have a young attractive girlfriend any more, no matter how hard you try and what you do.
Last year, after this breakup, despite having a lot of lovesickness and feeling sorry for the problems i caused that thought was a major problem for me. I thought for a long time about whether or not there would be anything i could do when someone sees my age as a problem by itself. This was especially the case when younger women seemed to like me and didnt know the number yet.
The good thing at least was, that at least not everybody shares this mindset. As an example there was another girl of the same age last summer who didnt have an issue with my age of 40 (and yes, she knew later). She didnt even have a problem with me first telling her, that i dont want to talk about age because this topic causes me problems. Another girl half a year before - also 21 - also didnt object.
So if you or anybody has a problem with the age gap by itself please take into consideration that i also want to be an attractive person and if possible i dont like being reduced to that age number. Yes, i already understood long ago, that i caused trouble by avoiding the age topic while she estimated me much younger. An advice of the form "you are 40, forget it" is not helpful however.
So what i want to say is that any advice should at least consider the fact, that people think differently about age gaps. Something like "forget it" or "threat your age as if you had a fatal disease" is not an acceptable way of thinking for anyone who wants to do his best to be at least as attractive and sucessful as possible. I didnt choose to be 40 btw.
Rational strategies seem to be to clarify the age at the beginning. This might have the downside that someone might reduce you to that number right away, while else there would be a chance that she realizes that the number doesnt really matter and is basically invisible. Another strategy would be to ask whether the number is in really important to her and that i dont like it to be judged by a number.
(Anecdotal that one girl last summer had no issue with me saying that i have problems with my age because she had problems with her ex-boyfriend.)
So, what if you met a woman who looked younger and she turned out to be your age? How would you feel about that? Considering that you only want "young attractive" women? I mean, if age doesn't matter and people shouldn't be judged by a number, then what's the problem with dating at your own age?
I think here is your problem. You're one of those guys who are like "ewww, older women are nasty." This is probably part of your problem with your own age; you're afraid a woman will see you the way you see women your own age, right? (Yet somehow you still think you're entitled to younger women, much like those men who are all full of scorn and like "ew, that woman isn't pretty" when clearly they've not looked in the mirror lately to notice they're not exactly Jason Momoa... or, they have, and don't think it matters...)
1) Leave the 21 year old alone. She’s made her feelings clear. Respect them.
2) Be upfront about your age if asked. This avoids the drama you just experienced and weeds out women (not girls) who don’t want to date that much older. Btw, just because a woman wants to dance with you or likes your body doesn’t mean they want to date you.
3) Consider seeing a therapist about your age issues. I see no downside to looking younger than your years but this seems to be a weight hanging on you.
This is very clear advice.
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