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That was your second date and she doesn’t want a kiss?
She appears to like you or she wouldn’t text you after your date.
Take it slow. Give her time. That is probably all she needs. Time would be good for you too. Get to know her.
I think you startled her with that kiss.
Yup. You're moving too fast for her, that's all it is. A kiss actually means something to some women; it's not just a cheap thrill to go for with the warm body most convenient to you. Kisses are not gratuities, like an after-dinner mint. For some women, they're something to be shared with a special someone, after they've gotten to know that person well. She hardly knows you; it was only a second date. What makes you think you deserve a kiss on the 2nd date? You could end up giving her the impression you're pushy and entitled, if you continue like this. She seems to like you, because she stuck with you through the rest of the evening, and enjoyed your company. Count your blessings; she didn't write you off completely.
Relax and take things slowly. Go out with her to have fun, not to score kisses or whatever else is on your mind.
This is Blue Pill thinking. There's a fine line between being patient and being a fool. I, personally, wouldn't wait more than two dates for a kiss. If a woman is truly attracted to me, as opposed to just wanting to settle down with me to get a stable life, she will kiss me sooner, rather than later. I've wasted far too much of my time waiting for women to "get to know me", "feel more comfortable" with me, etc. So imagine the shock I got later in life, when women would kiss me on a first date. Where was the "get to know me" or "feel more comfortable"? The real answer was "attraction". If it's not there from the get-go, it's never happening. The most precious resource a man has is his time. Don't waste it.
Attraction works in mysterious ways. If a woman is feeling it, kissing will happen almost anywhere it's remotely acceptable. Maybe not at a family dinner or in church, but pretty much anywhere else. Bowling? Sure, why not.
I know this may be hard to understand, but for some women, kisses are not about mere attraction or having good chemistry on a first or 2nd date. They're about much more than that; they're an expression of feelings that haven't had a chance to develop yet, by the first or second date. If. you can't read attraction in someone's behavior and vibe, without using a kiss as a barometer, you're still near the bottom of the learning curve.
The OP may miss out on a good thing, just because he requires a kiss as evidence of interest on his date's part. If that's really true, maybe they're not a good match.
"When I kissed you on Friday night, you didn't kiss me back. Was it too soon, a bad approach, or are you not feeling the same chemistry?"
This is basically negotiating a kiss. That's submissive behavior that's very unattractive to women. It's a sure loss for the OP. What I'd do is playfully say: "I take it you're not into kissing", then watch her reaction. It lets me find out the truth without lowering myself.
This is basically negotiating a kiss. That's submissive behavior that's very unattractive to women. It's a sure loss for the OP. What I'd do is playfully say: "I take it you're not into kissing", then watch her reaction. It lets me find out the truth without lowering myself.
I'm sorry but I can't take your advice seriously.
You've chosen to be perpetually single because you are of the opinion that women want to control, interfere, and suck the soul from their men. If that's the way you want to live, fine but IMO, you're not really qualified to give relationship advice since it's pretty much baseless.
As a woman and if I were single, I would much prefer a man talk straight to me about any concerns or impressions I have intentionally or unintentionally given. A man who is willing to talk about his concerns, thoughts, feelings, etc. in an effort to get over some stumbling blocks is much more attractive than a man who bails so easily.
It can take some courage to have these types of conversations (as evidenced by the number of people who ghost or have serious relationship convos via text or DMs), and that is far from being submissive.
This is basically negotiating a kiss. That's submissive behavior that's very unattractive to women. It's a sure loss for the OP. What I'd do is playfully say: "I take it you're not into kissing", then watch her reaction. It lets me find out the truth without lowering myself.
That would be a very manipulative, aggressive, and inappropriate thing to say. What this screams, is that you've devoted your life to reading all the wrong online bro-blogs, vs. being interested in relating to woman as people.
I would be offended if someone kissed me without me giving them some kind of "kiss me" signal. Also in the middle of bowling? ick.
I am also someone who doesn't like to be touched without outside of a hug. Everyone is different and has different boundaries.
Some guys would interpret my behavior as prudish, lacking spontaneity, or a sign that i am frigid. But my previous partners will attest that i am neither.
OP, you need to take your time and actually get to know her, apologize if you were too forward. Don't write this person off too soon.
The first kiss should be somewhat special. You don’t have to go to a gazebo in a rose garden, but you should at least be in a position that you can put your arms around her in a somewhat private setting.
You've chosen to be perpetually single because you are of the opinion that women want to control, interfere, and suck the soul from their men. If that's the way you want to live, fine but IMO, you're not really qualified to give relationship advice since it's pretty much baseless.
Well yes...that's my thought, it's like posting: "Here's how I got to never wanting a relationship with a woman."
OP, everyone's different, if you were recently divorced you obviously know what works some of the time and not others, as evidenced by the varying responses here. In my opinion: Don't discuss kissing, don't ask if you can kiss, nothing. Just do it-- if you feel like she'd be receptive. She wasn't at that MOMENT. Ask her out again, be specific about when and where, if she agrees there's your answer. She already knows you like her, if she was put off by your advance she's not going to put herself in a situation with you again. Good luck!
OP vanished, I see...
A woman surprised by a kiss? Seriously? Do they exist?
OP, just in case you return.
STOP. Stop right here. Yes, I do get it, you are craving. You devorced, you didn't have emotional involvement in XXX period of time, hormones are now everywhere over your body, mind is catering all kinds of fantasies, and so on...
STOP.
You have been burnt once. You want to be burnt again? No.
So do NOT pursue this female, until SHE does next step. What I am saying - do not contact her. Period. Even if she contacts you, which is today something like 5 days after your date - she either contacts YOU first or you forget it and go back to enjoying life. And even if she contacts you - do not respond right away. Give if a few days then respond with something courteous but NOT showing clearly any interest.
Or, if you do initiate contact, this will mean that you caved in, she will know it, and you will become another floor mat. Like you were before, as women do not betray strong men. But the very moment they lose respect to a man - oh, all kinds of things WILL happen. And you do not gain and maintain respect by caving in.
I spoke. You do as you wish.
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