What is the reason I don't do this? Anyone do the same? (dating, boyfriend)

[frimpter928]

So I have noticed that be it straight or gay friends, when they are starting to date someone or going to hook up with someone, they will voluntarily show me a picture of them. TBH most of the time I really don't care what they look like, but totally supportive if they want to show me. I don't think it's weird or anything wrong with them showing me and saying "This is they guy I am going on a date with" or anything like that. The only time it stands out is when it's someone who is constantly showing me pics all the time, but that's rare.

However, I am the complete opposite. I have zero desire to show them a picture of someone that I am going on a date with or hooking up with. If they ask me to see a picture, I will show them, but I don't know what it is, if they don't ask I don't show because I don't care to.

Some friends thought it was weird that I do that and brought it up on a group outing (just a chat nothing serious). But sometimes I think it's I just don't feel like I need their approval or insight when it comes to physical looks of someone I am interested in. I will definitely ask them more in regards to a person's personality if I see odd behavior, but when it comes to showing them a picture I ask myself "Why do they care to see who I am going on a date with?"

I just feel that if the guy is super hot, they kind of put more pressure on me, and the focus become his looks not him. If he is not hot or just average or below, then they kind of fake react. "Oh...he's cute, I can see why you like him," but you can tell that's not what they are thinking. At the end of the day, it's me that needs to be attracted to the guy, not them, so I think that's why maybe I could care less about showing them a picture of the guy? I have always been someone who kinds of beats to my own drum and I don't seek validation from others, rarely if ever. So maybe that is why?

Anyone else like me? Or am I the only weirdo like this?

[hawaiiancoconut]

Weird to keep your dating life to yourself?

[frimpter928]

Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut

Weird to keep your dating life to yourself?

No it's not so much keeping my dating life. I will definitely talk to my friend about the person I am dating, although I do keep that limited. I think it's more when it comes to pictures of the person.

When a friend is excited about someone new I am all ears and ask them about the person as a person, but I never ask them what they look like or for a picture. I just don't really care. So in the same vein, I don't really care to show my friends what the person looks like.

I will talk about the person as a person though, albeit less than most.

[Auraliea]

I think that's weird, especially if it's unwarranted. Then again, I wouldn't really talk to anyone about my dating life, at least not in excess. I don't think it's really that important. Depends on the person.

[frimpter928]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

I think that's weird, especially if it's unwarranted. Then again, I wouldn't really talk to anyone about my dating life, at least not in excess. I don't think it's really that important. Depends on the person.

Again if they ask, I will show a pic, it's just I don't feel the need to show a picture. But you are right, it's really not that important.

[Ruth4Truth]

It's never crossed my mind to share a pic with friends, of anyone I might be dating. I'm not into taking photos of people.

[Maddie104]

In general I rarely talk or comment about anyone's looks and was in the minority when colleagues would comment on how "hot" someone was/is. Always placed more importance on intelligence/personality so it would not occur to me to show a photo of anyone. (rare exception, a few of my daughter's baby pics).

As you stated, it's a superficial aspect of a person and beauty is in the eye of the beholder so what is the point?

[funymann]

I showed off my ice cream sundae.

I want everyone to be jealous. To wish they could have it.

[cloven]

My take on this may differ from how others see it...YMMV

I would show (or ask for) picture when exchanging info. with female friend-for sake of safety, when either of us were going on a first date with new person.
Also, to make sure that I didn't recognize the guy she was meeting (or vice versa), in case there was a cautionary tale behind that.

Further along (if things got to that point), I would show or ask for photo in order to better remember, or make memorable, this person (as part of my life, or that of my friend).
Mean that in the sense of how some folks' brains retain info. better when given a visual cue, a face to attach to the name-
so I'm less likely to get confused about who so-and-so (in my friend's life) is, or my friend is less likely to get confused when I mention the guy I'm seeing.

It's not about impressing others with appearances (or being wowed by whomever a friend is dating)
nor trying to convince another person of the visual attractiveness of person I'm involved with.
It's about safety (in early stages, when one may feel apprehensive about initial meeting with someone)
or it's about information retention (in later stages of serious relationship).

Also, in non-romantic contexts I might want to see a picture (for identification purposes, not as a judgment), for example: trying to learn who each of my boyfriend's family members are.
Can't keep straight all the names & how they're related, but show me a photo and I can call that to mind (access the mental file) when being told about that person.
I do similar thing when telling my bf about the people in my own life: here's what this person looks like, not in a good or bad way-I consider it just another teaching tool/type of information.

[turkeydance]

"Anyone else like me?"
yes.
"Or am I the only weirdo like this?"
no.