Are these similarities important? (feelings, relations, reason, honest)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I've been on six dates with this girl (dinner Friday night will be our seventh) over the past month or so. We also text every day, not long conversations just keeping in touch. I like her a lot. What stands out to me are the similarities we have in personality and temperament. We are both cautious, neat, organized, planners, and frugal/conservative with money. Also I think we both try to stay very positive and upbeat (maybe to counter a natural tendency to worry) and we are both Christian (although she is Catholic while I'm more non-denominational). We live one hour apart, although I have family near her city and prefer it to mine.
I'm also currently considering several job/relocation opportunities which would end this relationship before it begins (I'm not open to long distance). I don't want to make a big decision based on someone I don't know well yet, but I'm also kind of ambivalent anyway and being with her is tipping the scales towards not taking these other jobs. Since I started using dating apps ~1.5 years ago, I've met quite a few attractive, intelligent, kind women and I'm confident I can do so again if I move. But, I've never met someone where I felt like we looked at life so similarly and just fit together like this.
My question is, do you think that these similarities are important and uncommon, or not? Thanks!
Similarities are important, and no matter how many times you hear opposites attract, you are better off with someone of similar interest.
That being said, the minute you said you felt you could find someone else who you would be attracted to, you answered your own question. If you are so unconcerned about your future with her that you put the question to an internet forum, and your biggest compliments to her are that you have similar interest and "just fit together" then you should take the job offer and never look back. If you had enough interest in her to alter your life plans, then you wouldn't have ask the question.
Good luck on the new job, and may both of you find the special someone you deserve.
You want to be on the same page on finances. There should be some wiggle room with the other stuff. It has only been a few dates so leaving her behind to relocate for a better job shouldn't be a big concern.
How long before you are apt to get another job? Any chance she might consider relocating, if you get more involved before you get another job?
Similarities are important, and no matter how many times you hear opposites attract, you are better off with someone of similar interest.
That being said, the minute you said you felt you could find someone else who you would be attracted to, you answered your own question. If you are so unconcerned about your future with her that you put the question to an internet forum, and your biggest compliments to her are that you have similar interest and "just fit together" then you should take the job offer and never look back. If you had enough interest in her to alter your life plans, then you wouldn't have ask the question.
Good luck on the new job, and may both of you find the special someone you deserve.
He's only known her a month.
OP, I think you. need more time to get to know her, before making a decision. Why did you start dating her, if you were looking for a new job outside of your current area? And what about her job situation? If you waited a couple more months before doing another job search, and you two hit it off, would she be willing to move, and able to find a job in her field elsewhere?
It sounds like this could be a good relationship, but can you imagine better and have a realistic chance of finding one? If so, keep looking.
When I met my current wife, it was very clear that she was an exceptional match - a 1 in 10,000 match. Everything lined up (character, values, principles, beliefs, attitudes towards life, money, children, etc., and we shared many strong interests and activities - plus, we were extraordinarily attracted and the sex was the best ever). I had to choose - relocate, change jobs, or keep looking. I chose to move to be with her, and have never regretted it - in fact, I've been amazingly happy ever since.
I don't know. OP uses the word "special" a couple of times in speaking of her. I think there may be deeper feelings here than are necessarily being conveyed in his list of compatibilities.
OP, I think you just have some soul searching ahead of you. I don't know that we can help with this. Ideally you could have a few more dates before you have to really make a decision.
I'm 72. If you are lucky you will find one person in your life who you love and who loves you back and who can be your partner in life. That is priceless. After 6 dates you should know if she is the one. I knew after the second date and so did she. I was planning to relocate when I met her. I ditched my plans to relocate. That was 47 years ago and we are still together. Twenty years later I got the career I wanted as well.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.