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Old 06-11-2019, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,769,580 times
Reputation: 25362

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Do what's best for YOU!
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:15 PM
 
1,123 posts, read 438,518 times
Reputation: 2053
Quote:
Originally Posted by riffle View Post
So I've been on six dates with this girl (dinner Friday night will be our seventh) over the past month or so. We also text every day, not long conversations just keeping in touch. I like her a lot. What stands out to me are the similarities we have in personality and temperament. We are both cautious, neat, organized, planners, and frugal/conservative with money. Also I think we both try to stay very positive and upbeat (maybe to counter a natural tendency to worry) and we are both Christian (although she is Catholic while I'm more non-denominational). We live one hour apart, although I have family near her city and prefer it to mine.

I'm also currently considering several job/relocation opportunities which would end this relationship before it begins (I'm not open to long distance). I don't want to make a big decision based on someone I don't know well yet, but I'm also kind of ambivalent anyway and being with her is tipping the scales towards not taking these other jobs. Since I started using dating apps ~1.5 years ago, I've met quite a few attractive, intelligent, kind women and I'm confident I can do so again if I move. But, I've never met someone where I felt like we looked at life so similarly and just fit together like this.

My question is, do you think that these similarities are important and uncommon, or not? Thanks!
Similarities are important, and no matter how many times you hear opposites attract, you are better off with someone of similar interest.


That being said, the minute you said you felt you could find someone else who you would be attracted to, you answered your own question. If you are so unconcerned about your future with her that you put the question to an internet forum, and your biggest compliments to her are that you have similar interest and "just fit together" then you should take the job offer and never look back. If you had enough interest in her to alter your life plans, then you wouldn't have ask the question.


Good luck on the new job, and may both of you find the special someone you deserve.
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:17 PM
 
6,784 posts, read 4,771,189 times
Reputation: 26037
You want to be on the same page on finances. There should be some wiggle room with the other stuff. It has only been a few dates so leaving her behind to relocate for a better job shouldn't be a big concern.

How long before you are apt to get another job? Any chance she might consider relocating, if you get more involved before you get another job?
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Old 06-12-2019, 12:37 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by miquel_westano View Post
Similarities are important, and no matter how many times you hear opposites attract, you are better off with someone of similar interest.


That being said, the minute you said you felt you could find someone else who you would be attracted to, you answered your own question. If you are so unconcerned about your future with her that you put the question to an internet forum, and your biggest compliments to her are that you have similar interest and "just fit together" then you should take the job offer and never look back. If you had enough interest in her to alter your life plans, then you wouldn't have ask the question.


Good luck on the new job, and may both of you find the special someone you deserve.
He's only known her a month.

OP, I think you. need more time to get to know her, before making a decision. Why did you start dating her, if you were looking for a new job outside of your current area? And what about her job situation? If you waited a couple more months before doing another job search, and you two hit it off, would she be willing to move, and able to find a job in her field elsewhere?
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Old 06-12-2019, 05:33 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,450,546 times
Reputation: 10809
It sounds like this could be a good relationship, but can you imagine better and have a realistic chance of finding one? If so, keep looking.

When I met my current wife, it was very clear that she was an exceptional match - a 1 in 10,000 match. Everything lined up (character, values, principles, beliefs, attitudes towards life, money, children, etc., and we shared many strong interests and activities - plus, we were extraordinarily attracted and the sex was the best ever). I had to choose - relocate, change jobs, or keep looking. I chose to move to be with her, and have never regretted it - in fact, I've been amazingly happy ever since.
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Old 06-12-2019, 06:30 AM
 
9,359 posts, read 6,928,850 times
Reputation: 14767
Always choose career > date # 8
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Old 06-12-2019, 05:29 PM
 
2,048 posts, read 2,145,855 times
Reputation: 7247
I don't know. OP uses the word "special" a couple of times in speaking of her. I think there may be deeper feelings here than are necessarily being conveyed in his list of compatibilities.

OP, I think you just have some soul searching ahead of you. I don't know that we can help with this. Ideally you could have a few more dates before you have to really make a decision.
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Old 06-12-2019, 05:32 PM
 
6,844 posts, read 3,937,300 times
Reputation: 15854
I'm 72. If you are lucky you will find one person in your life who you love and who loves you back and who can be your partner in life. That is priceless. After 6 dates you should know if she is the one. I knew after the second date and so did she. I was planning to relocate when I met her. I ditched my plans to relocate. That was 47 years ago and we are still together. Twenty years later I got the career I wanted as well.

Last edited by bobspez; 06-12-2019 at 06:01 PM..
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Old 06-12-2019, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
14,225 posts, read 14,646,717 times
Reputation: 22092
Do not let a potential love interest stand in the way of career development ala relocation.
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Old 06-12-2019, 06:13 PM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,914,439 times
Reputation: 15255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Do what's best for YOU!
Hey?, welcome back.

How was prison? Early release?
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