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What he did wasn't even a mistake. He talked to a friend. That's what normal people do.
She sounds like an abusive, controlling psycho. He should leave ASAP and free himself. Holy crap. I can't even imagine being with someone like that.
Edit: Oh and also--I'd put money on her currently cheating on him. That's why she won't let this thing (I won't even call it a betrayal because he literally did nothing wrong) go. She's projecting her current guilt over whoever she's screwing/flirting with/talking to onto him.
It's sad to hear about people suffering like this but at the same time I just don't understand. Why stay with someone like this? If someone even had the nerve to suggest I couldn't discuss my life with my closest friends, I'd tell them to F off and walk. Unbelievable.
^this
I'd bet money she's already banged some guy and has awful guilt over it and trying to equate those conversations to equal cheating.
Why was she reading his private conversation with his friend? I'd dump her for that alone too! Man people put up with a lot. I actually got angry reading this story because it's so far beyond what I'd ever tolerate.
I agree. But I was in an awful and emotionally abusive relationship for a long time. I was divorced, lonely, and just overall messed up. And the wrong person got her claws into me at just the right time, and by the time I realized it I was too deep to just walk away. I'm still messed up from it. So I get it. It makes no sense from the outside, though.
Don’t have relationships with women: they are expensive, time consuming, irrational, and dangerous. There are no excuses for blaming any other person for your life’s issues. You are in control of your life or you are not.
I agree. But I was in an awful and emotionally abusive relationship for a long time. I was divorced, lonely, and just overall messed up. And the wrong person got her claws into me at just the right time, and by the time I realized it I was too deep to just walk away. I'm still messed up from it. So I get it. It makes no sense from the outside, though.
It happened to me when younger too. But once I did escape, it changed me for life. I never took crap from anyone again after that. I have a very low tolerance for crap now.
Don’t have relationships with women: they are expensive, time consuming, irrational, and dangerous. .
Not if you find the right woman. The better conclusion to derive from this, is to not waste time with people who make you miserable. Dump and move on ASAP.
Well,if they both can't move on from the past and start fresh, it's not going to work. The relationship won't progress.They point have to make effort not to bring up old stuff and create a future.
OP- You asked a valid question: How long should it take? In my guestimation - It takes long enough for one of them to have that moment of clarity Of gut wrenching clarity of : Is this really worth it? Then they either change perspectives or amp up the drama.
Gosh how nice it would be if folks could 're- adjust" when something unsettling does transpire.
Old behaviors die hard though.....and more battles are fought in the mind and imagination then in reality.
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The better conclusion to derive from this, is to not waste time with people who make you miserable. Dump and move on ASAP.
