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Old 06-17-2019, 10:15 AM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,725,695 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
I think I would be a little more surprised if she did opt for abortion.
I wouldn't. The addition of a child would vastly complicate her story. An abortion will set the drama clock back to zero, and the narrative can follow many more directions.

 
Old 06-17-2019, 10:31 AM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
I wouldn't. The addition of a child would vastly complicate her story. An abortion will set the drama clock back to zero, and the narrative can follow many more directions.
If she wants an abortion she should have an abortion. But that's up to her...not her Bf & not you.
 
Old 06-17-2019, 10:37 AM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,725,695 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
If she wants an abortion she should have an abortion. But that's up to her...not her Bf & not you.
Wait, what? I gave no recommendation. I just said I would not be surprised if the author decided not to add a baby to the storyline.
 
Old 06-17-2019, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,088 posts, read 2,561,084 times
Reputation: 12494
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
I wouldn't. The addition of a child would vastly complicate her story. An abortion will set the drama clock back to zero, and the narrative can follow many more directions.
I think that if she has an abortion (and it seems highly likely that she will terminate the pregnancy because, after all, it's what her boyfriend wants), it will up the ante in terms of drama given her mental state and her history with her boyfriend. I hope that the NHS provides post-abortion psychological support for those who need it and that she uses it if it is, indeed, available as she of all people will need it between the cascading hormonal effects of no longer being pregnant and her already fragile and constantly overwrought emotional state.

Our O.P. is not a victim however much she tries to play that role, but neither is Alex in this situation as he's been as much of a player in this dysfunctional game as she. Either an adoption or an abortion would quite possibly provide the best outcome for the unborn child in this scenario. At the end of the day, though, it is her decision and her decision alone to make.
 
Old 06-17-2019, 10:49 AM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Wait, what? I gave no recommendation. I just said I would not be surprised if the author decided not to add a baby to the storyline.
Lots of people are talking about the drama & her Bf & her maturity, but she is 26....& she should be making this decision for herself. I would never have gotten pregnant in the 1st place & I wouldn't be with a guy like her Bf, but I was telling myself as much as you and everyone else...it's her decision. I'm almost 31 & independent, and I couldn't even *think* about having a baby in the *best* of circumstances. That's all.

Last edited by TashaPosh; 06-17-2019 at 11:31 AM..
 
Old 06-17-2019, 10:59 AM
 
271 posts, read 157,146 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I'm a 67 year old mother and grandmother who has a lot of life experiences. I have read several of your threads. This is what I truly believe with happen, so be prepared.


Would I have to choose the baby's name on my own? Yes.
Will I be shopping for all of the things the baby needs on my own? Yes. Not just shopping for everything but paying for everything
Will I be giving birth without Alex there?Yes.
Will I spend the first few days with the baby without Alex being there after I take the baby home from the hospital? Yes. And, not only will be alone with the baby for those first few days but you will have the full responsibility of raising your child until adulthood.

Will I be alone when I chose schools and educational activities for my child? Yes. Everything will be your full responsibility.
Will I be alone when my child gets sick and needs medical care? Yes. Everything will be your full responsibility.
Will I be alone when my child is a preschooler, child and teenager? Yes. Everything will be your full responsibility.
Will I be alone when my child needs help in selecting a college or career or needs help as an adult? Yes. Everything will be your full responsibility.

IMHO, don't just think of those months that you are pregnant and the months that your child is a baby, consider your child's entire life without a loving, caring father. Picture the next five, ten, fifteen, eighteen/twenty years that your child will have a single parent (YOU) being completely in charge of their needs. Are you ready for that? Really ready?

Seriously when we've been in a relationship for 5 years?

When he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to kiss me on the lips? When he wants to hold me in bed every night? When he tells me that he loves me every day?

Where would he be going that would be so important that he would leave me and his baby behind?

I know you may be right, but at the same time I don't know of the reality would play ou like this
 
Old 06-17-2019, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,088 posts, read 2,561,084 times
Reputation: 12494
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
Seriously when we've been in a relationship for 5 years?

When he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to kiss me on the lips? When he wants to hold me in bed every night? When he tells me that he loves me every day?

Where would he be going that would be so important that he would leave me and his baby behind?

I know you may be right, but at the same time I don't know of the reality would play ou like this
What do his actions tell you? The actions that really count--not the roses and lollipops ones?

He cheats on you. He's slept with a prostitute at least once that you know of during those five years.

He has told you that he plans on leaving you and that if you decide to keep this child that you will have effectively ruined his life and are using him. He kisses you, holds you, and tells you that he loves you as a means to an end (sex). The man who once was so diligent about being certain that you were taking your contraceptive pills properly and consistently became sloppy about such things. That's on him as much as you. Make him own that fact.

Either you're delusional or he's a manipulative liar. I think that both might be true. Why on earth would you want to bring a child into this mess?

Know this and listen well for once: if you opt to not terminate this pregnancy, your priorities will have to make an immediate and major shift away from you and Alex and towards this child, who will, before you know it, turn into a not-so-adoreable teenager and young adult with all of the challenges that entails even in the best possible circumstances (which yours most certainly are not and never will be if you continue down the path that you've chosen for your life).

It's highly likely that you will be a single mum with minimal support from Alex and subsistence level support from the state. You cannot depend upon him sticking around to help you to raise a child from birth to adulthood. Get that through your head.

Last edited by Formerly Known As Twenty; 06-17-2019 at 11:31 AM..
 
Old 06-17-2019, 11:16 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,210 posts, read 107,883,295 times
Reputation: 116153
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Wait, what? I gave no recommendation. I just said I would not be surprised if the author decided not to add a baby to the storyline.
Well, she already did choose to add a baby to the storyline, didn't she? But she then found out, that the addition didn't cause the storyline trajectory to go in her favor, as she'd fantasized. So now she has to re-decide. Raising a child on her own would be too stressful for her, and she's apparently beyond reluctant to rely on her parents, or even to communicate with them at all, so.....
 
Old 06-17-2019, 11:42 AM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,248,505 times
Reputation: 22685
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
Seriously when we've been in a relationship for 5 years?

When he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to kiss me on the lips? When he wants to hold me in bed every night? When he tells me that he loves me every day?

Where would he be going that would be so important that he would leave me and his baby behind?

I know you may be right, but at the same time I don't know of the reality would play ou like this
Girl, you've got a lot of growing up to do.

I know the status of our OP but nonetheless, story time! Everyone gather 'round:

I have a 25yr old son. Sperm donor was all excited when i found out I was pregnant, romantic stories, promises of moonlit walks, just the 3 of us, hand in hand.....until the next day.

Haven't seen or heard from him since...not once in 25+ years.

The end.

(*if you're the GF of a realtor/broker in south Florida, now you know the story.) lol
 
Old 06-17-2019, 11:45 AM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,725,695 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Well, she already did choose to add a baby to the storyline, didn't she? But she then found out, that the addition didn't cause the storyline trajectory to go in her favor, as she'd fantasized. So now she has to re-decide. Raising a child on her own would be too stressful for her, and she's apparently beyond reluctant to rely on her parents, or even to communicate with them at all, so.....
I really think the abortion story could amp up the drama quickly and her martyrdom would become a recurring theme. An actual baby would mean bringing in a whole lot of new characters and situations that will be hard to weave together, plus it would have to go on and on, taking the reader's focus away from the Awful Alex.

I just don't see that happening.
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