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I disagree, and I don't think you owe him any guilt. He chose to sleep with you, and needs to own the consequences of his decision (same applies to you). Best of luck to you!
I’m amazed it took you this long to accomplish what you’ve wanted all along. Go home and visit your parents and tell them everything. They might help you, Alex never will since he does not love or respect you. Not that you’ll believe that.
It was nature that took so long to accomplish this
Over 5 years
That is why it is making it so much harder to consider an abortion
OP, you have received so much advice about your relationship and your mental health issues in your previous threads. Some good, some bad. Yet you continue to ignore the good advice, and do what you want, consequences be damned.
I’m deeply disappointed in you. You purposefully got pregnant knowing he does not want children. You did not get pregnant because you want to be a mother but as way to keep him tied to you. You used this baby as a tool, and now it is backfiring on you because he doesn’t want it. You should be ashamed of yourself.
You will have the abortion because that’s what HE wants, and you’ll do anything to keep him. And frankly, you’re in no position to raise this baby alone.
I honestly don’t know what anyone can tell you because you won’t do what people have repeatedly advised you to do. What do you want to hear, OP?
OP, you have received so much advice about your relationship and your mental health issues in your previous threads. Some good, some bad. Yet you continue to ignore the good advice, and do what you want, consequences be damned.
I honestly don’t know what anyone can tell you because you won’t do what people have repeatedly advised you to do. What do you want to hear, OP?
That unicorns are real, the shoe fits, dreams do come true, and toads really turn into brave, strong, wonderful princes.
Your totally right, el. I have the same thoughts...
Yes, I have the same thoughts too.
I think I'm going to end up doing what Alex wants.
As much as I think I want this...
I can't imagine I can have the baby without his support.
Would he leave me?
After giving birth, would I come back from the hospital alone?
Would I be raising the baby without the baby having Alex there as it's father and as my boyfriend? He'd be the support for me and the baby and we would both need him to be there.
Alex is convinced we're getting an abortion. There was an option to talk to a trained councillor at the abortion clinic about my decision to abort... Alex said that I don't need to be doing that as me and him have already made the decision to abort
But I haven't
I might have looked like I agreed as i was worried and shocked and it feels impossible to go through with this and make the decision to have a baby on my own. to put Alex through something he absolutely does not want, to change his life, I don't know if I can deal with theguilt. It will feel so wrong of me to keep the baby which is ultimately my mistake
I love Alex after everything we've been through, things are really turning around and getting better I'm grateful to have him and that he's still in my life
I have the choose Alex or the baby...don't I ???
There is no other way to go.... Right?????
It's cruel that for some reason we can't even consider having the baby as we're both adults now. We've been living independently and in our flat for 4years. I'm 26 (,I'll be 27 in November) Alex is 23 (24 in August)
We've been living together in a relationship for 5 years now. It's hardly debilitating that were going to have a baby. We still have until the end of January to wait.
Since I told him I was pregnant on Friday, we talked a tiny bit about having the baby and what that would be like. He said he's not ready to be a father, said he still wants to do more travelling, said our relationship isn't at a stage where we can put a baby above and before everything else, said that I'm too long, said that our relationship isn't stable enough as we nearly separated.
It's not fair
Why can't we come to some sort of compromise on this?...
His sister had a baby after she had been dating her boyfriend less than a year. Now that baby is the apple of Alex's family's eye.
How long are we going to be waiting after this to EVER have a family?
5 years?
10 years?
15 years?
I'm nearly 27
I won't be able to cope being around Alex's baby niece. knowing that our baby couldn't be born.
I want this baby, it is not unwanted by me. I'm honestly feeling more and more thrilled the more I think about it. It's all taken away by stressing about Alex.
I want to know the gender so badly. I felt like a mum the moment I found out. I feel so maternal already
I really don't know if I'll ever get over the abortion?
Can't Alex see how depressed it will make me? Can't he care about that? Can't he see that there is a part of me that wants my baby?..
You are hopeless, and talking to you has the same effect like talking to a wall. You don't listen and you don't want to comprehend or take our advice.
I already know how this story will end...
Well gee. Who didn't see this one coming? (I certainly did - and I've only been around here for ten months or so....)
I'm surprised he's still with you. And I don't feel sorry for either of you, since this relationship has been a train wreck for as long as I've been reading your threads....
Figure out what you want to do and are capable of doing, and do that. And yes, he will likely leave you. Regardless of your choice.
Can you afford to have this baby? If so, I guess you can do opt to do it on your own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty
I agree with you. I'm pro-choice, but when the mother-to-be really would like to continue the pregnancy, but is being strongly pressured by her partner to terminate it, she's being robbed of her right to choose what she wants for herself. Abortion coercion is a sad reality, but I digress...
For those who would say that her boyfriend's being robbed of *his* choice in matter: he gave up that choice when he neglected to protect himself as surely he knew/knows just how strong the baby lust is in the O.P. She's certainly never made any protestations to the contrary from what we've been told in previous threads regarding her partner.
The O.P.'s situation, however somewhat self-inflicted, horrifies me as she's considering abortion to protect what it is in reality a non-existent relationship that should have long ago died a natural death. I'm not sure if she could emotionally handle not only the cascading hormonal effects of a terminated pregnancy, but the ensuing guilt as this is a very much wanted pregnancy even if it was gained through less than honest and desperate means. She's far from the the first woman to become pregnant "accidentally on purpose" and certainly won't be the last. It might be a tough "row for her to hoe" should she choose to continue the pregnancy, but with the right support, she could make it through motherhood flying solo.
Her reasons for terminating would have everything to do with this pathetic excuse for a sperm donor and nothing to do with her own hopes and desires. The O.P. herself has written that she has already bonded with her unborn child. I think that a termination in her particular situation would be an action for which she would never forgive herself as she knows in her heart that sacrificing motherhood for the empty promises that she herself projects onto her boyfriend would be a huge mistake.
O.P.: if you have any friends, please strongly consider taking them along to your doctor's appointment rather than your boyfriend as I don't believe that you're mentally strong enough to deny his wishes when it comes to terminating your pregnancy.
I know that I'm not mentally strong enough to not do what Alex suggests and thinks is the "right thing"
He will make me feel so guilty if I make any other choice it will be unbearable
I'm worried he would become cold, unsupportive and emotionally abusive - we have seen him like that before
I think he would make me feel so unbearably guilty. He would go off the rails, probably suggesting things like running of to Vietnam or back to Bulgaria. He is not the most mature.
This is my decision to make, but it seems like he is the only one to make the decision
I think there is no part of him that will believe I will seriously make the decision to have the baby on my own and ignore all of his advice
He knows that I'm trapped into an abortion no matter how you look at it
My biggest fear is Alex leaving me and not having a life together
I'm sure I would be feeling better if I had a permanent job, knowing that I could take maternity leave etc
Alex could go off travelling again for all I'd care
Id stay and do the best for our baby
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