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Ive experienced this before. Someone is so psyched to meet me and they really like me and I'm cute as a button and their enthusiasm burbles out all over the place. Sure, it's flattering. But by date 3-4 reality sets in and they are back to their 'normal' self and I seem much more 'normal' to them and then the thrill is gone and I never hear from him again, OR they are still in some lala land and are happy to overlook the reality that either I'm not so great for him OR I'm not that interested in him.
The last time this happened to me it did not end well...dude was not emotionally healthy.
Happened again last night.
How do you put the brakes on something like this without hurting their feelings? I'm talking about normalizing their expectations, not crushing them. I like this guy. He has lots of potential. I'd like to date him long term. He is the coworker of a friend's husband so I know he's actually a good guy, a genuine prospect. (not like a total stranger I just met) He's normally pretty reserved, but it's a little awkward to have him gush on. I wouldn't do that with a guy, ever, because guys are so easily scared off by too much enthusiasm.
Ive experienced this before. Someone is so psyched to meet me and they really like me and I'm cute as a button and their enthusiasm burbles out all over the place. Sure, it's flattering. But by date 3-4 reality sets in and they are back to their 'normal' self and I seem much more 'normal' to them and then the thrill is gone and I never hear from him again, OR they are still in some lala land and are happy to overlook the reality that either I'm not so great for him OR I'm not that interested in him.
The last time this happened to me it did not end well...dude was not emotionally healthy.
Happened again last night.
How do you put the brakes on something like this without hurting their feelings? I'm talking about normalizing their expectations, not crushing them. I like this guy. He has lots of potential. I'd like to date him long term. He is the coworker of a friend's husband so I know he's actually a good guy, a genuine prospect. (not like a total stranger I just met) He's normally pretty reserved, but it's a little awkward to have him gush on. I wouldn't do that with a guy, ever, because guys are so easily scared off by too much enthusiasm.
I honestly don't see how you could put the brakes on it directly.
Maybe ignore the gushy compliment (or just briefly acknowledge it with a "thanks") and redirect with questions about him?
Generally... they’re hoping to get into your pants and if it takes too long or doesn’t happen quickly enough for them... they’ll bounce. I’ve found that guys will try and blow all kinds a smoke up my backside in the effort.
Ive experienced this before. Someone is so psyched to meet me and they really like me and I'm cute as a button and their enthusiasm burbles out all over the place. Sure, it's flattering. But by date 3-4 reality sets in and they are back to their 'normal' self and I seem much more 'normal' to them and then the thrill is gone and I never hear from him again, OR they are still in some lala land and are happy to overlook the reality that either I'm not so great for him OR I'm not that interested in him.
The last time this happened to me it did not end well...dude was not emotionally healthy.
Happened again last night.
How do you put the brakes on something like this without hurting their feelings? I'm talking about normalizing their expectations, not crushing them. I like this guy. He has lots of potential. I'd like to date him long term. He is the coworker of a friend's husband so I know he's actually a good guy, a genuine prospect. (not like a total stranger I just met) He's normally pretty reserved, but it's a little awkward to have him gush on. I wouldn't do that with a guy, ever, because guys are so easily scared off by too much enthusiasm.
You don't have control over how someone feels, but you can "put the bakes on" by pacing the progress of the relationship to something you are more comfortable with. For example, you can control how frequent you talk, text, and go out. A lot of guys who come on strong at first also want to dominate your time, by calling or texting every day, or wanting to see you several times a week. You do have control over that and can slow their roll.
Generally... they’re hoping to get into your pants and if it takes too long or doesn’t happen quickly enough for them... they’ll bounce. I’ve found that guys will try and blow all kinds a smoke up my backside in the effort.
That’s true.
That’s all the guy wants is to get his noodle wet.
You like him, and you already know he's a good guy, so I guess I don't understand what the problem is.
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