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Switch this around. Men who date a lot and have sex a lot, often with highly desirable women may be damaged as well. They'll always want the hot young thing, may well cheat, and not be satisfied with their wife if she loses her figure after having children.
I guess almost everyone is damaged if you apply this judgment - or they're too inexperienced to know any better when things aren't happy in their marriage. Sounds like there's no winning combination!
Right!?
But I didn't check for dudes who really cared about a partner's number. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been asked, and I've been in several relationships and dated many men. Neither men actually cared about my history as a means to assess my "worthiness." We were on the topic of relationship/dating history and casually mentioned past partners. It was no big deal. *shrug* The type of men who care that much about past sexual partners were not my type.
I wouldn't answer that question. Mostly because I don't know. Not that it's some huge number. I just never kept track and it's also been many years since I've had sex at all, so by the time I meet someone to have sex with again, my distant past just seems irrelevant.
I think that if a woman has been in multiple abusive relationships, that points to some kind of flaw in that woman's character. As she may likely be drawn toward that kind of man.
Sure...it's never the "right" number. If your number is higher than expected (as a woman) you're a worthless piece of crap...and if it's too low you're a frigid whatever that's been rejected too many times - what's WRONG with you?!
It says something about their view of sex, but it doesn't define them as a person.
It says something about your views on sex at the time the sex was occurring. What a lot of people in this thread seem to be missing is that your total number is accumulated over a lifetime. My views on sex during my party days in my early 20s are not my views on sex now. Some of us are in our 30s, 40s, 50s+ and may have completely changed our lifestyles over the decades. 99% of my "total number" (Whatever it may be) was accumulated during my wild party days of early adulthood. I can't imagine someone judging me for those days when I've pretty much been chaste the last decade and completely celibate the last few years. I'm a totally different person now.
This is why asking someone's "number" is really silly--at least if the person is older than maybe 25.
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
Come on people! It was a Yahoo article!
A person CAN be defined by a high amount of partners. It shows many qualities about them.
Okay, but once again, if you don't take the time span in which all this sex occurred into consideration, then you're judging people unfairly.
Unless you'd literally judge someone for being promiscuous in their younger years and then changing for the better....?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist
You left out an important element. If a woman interacts, sexually and otherwise, with highly desirable men, it can be damaging to her. Namely, she'll lose the ability to emotionally bond with stable, mild-mannered men. She may still settle down with such a man, but her mind and her heart will always desire the type of man her partner is not. And that's the root cause of many unhappy marriages nowadays. Not all, or even most, but many.
So while I get that nobody marries as a virgin anymore---heck, I'm still single and I'm not a virgin---I'd be leery of a woman who had a large number of sex partners. I can see nothing but misery if I marry her.
All of this is just...what? Every person I sleep with is "highly desirable" to me, at least at the time I'm choosing to sleep with them. Why else would I sleep with them?
Even back in my drunken days, the people I slept with were people I found desirable in the moment. Sure, alcohol and drugs may have influenced that desirability at times. But in my mind, they were desirable.
I don't think a woman's brain works the way you think it does. If I marry someone, I'm attracted to them. I wouldn't be comparing them to past sexy lovers or anything like you seem to be suggesting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by riffle
Just wondering.. in your opinion, are there ANY experiences or characteristics that define someone as a person?
Yes but only their current and very recent behavior. Judging someone for things that took place 20 years ago doesn't make sense to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
If you don’t know how many people you slept with then imo theres a problem.
I mean, sure there was a problem back then. I drank too much and was a bit too wild. And I had low self-esteem and often gave my body to people I found attractive even if they didn't act very nice to me.
But I changed all that and have maintained that change for many years. I can't help the past. I can't go back in time and carry a notebook around to write down the name of every person I slept with. I barely remember those days now.
People don't have to tell anyone the number of partners they had sexually. It's no one's business if it's in the hundreds or thousands. Just don't expect the other person to be so accepting if you can't give an estimate or if you are so tight-lipped about it.
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All of this is just...what? Every person I sleep with is "highly desirable" to me, at least at the time I'm choosing to sleep with them. Why else would I sleep with them? 
