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I wonder if there is a phase some girls go through where their insecurities leave them vulnerable to this. Or maybe it’s a product of the “bad boy” phase some girls go through? That they’d allow themselves to be talked to like this?
maybe it goes along with the porn culture that the young'ns seem accustomed to - with the degrading bit.
maybe it goes along with the porn culture that the young'ns seem accustomed to - with the degrading bit.
You may be onto something here too. Less secure women and girls may believe they have expectations to uphold. Porn definitely creates an unrealistic ideal for a lot of men. Then when reality doesn’t match the ideal there’s fallout.
You may be onto something here too. Less secure women and girls may believe they have expectations to uphold. Porn definitely creates an unrealistic ideal for a lot of men. Then when reality doesn’t match the ideal there’s fallout.
yes, which is why I never liked it or watched it - but of course the young guys do. thankfully getting older means they are too, and hopefully maturing, but probably not. the ones that were insulting seemed too old to get away with the "oh they're just young, dumb jerks" excuse.
I remember the first guy I dated, pointing out a sex scene in a movie, saying "that's what it's supposed to look like."
yes, which is why I never liked it or watched it - but of course the young guys do. thankfully getting older means they are too, and hopefully maturing, but probably not. the ones that were insulting seemed too old to get away with the "oh they're just young, dumb jerks" excuse.
I remember the first guy I dated, pointing out a sex scene in a movie, saying "that's what it's supposed to look like."
That’s hilarious. Reality is going to have a heyday with that guy.
I also suspect that there is an element of this thing, like when a child does not get any positive attention for doing positive things, they act out because being punished is better than being invisible.
So the "nice guy" who is getting his messages ignored one after another and feels invisible, lashes out with negativity in the hopes of getting SOME reaction...any reaction...
I doubt if they are thinking it through or clearly having a hope of a good outcome here. And of course when they don't get anything good coming of a positive approach...or a negative one... Then they have "tried everything" and nothing worked, so clearly it isn't their fault, it's women or society or online dating or that site or whatever that's to blame. But I'm sure it's easier to be a jerk thinking that it doesn't matter, if they solidly believe that being nice would not have gotten them anywhere either, since it did not before.
But again, we come back to the self-centered egotistical mode of thinking so natural to the human creature, that oneself is the only player character in the world, and everyone else is a hive mind played by the same computer against us. As opposed to each and every woman one sends a message to being a new and unique individual who could respond differently than all the rest at any moment. May as well, while laughing and crying, burn all the bridges, since the first several dozen would not allow us to cross, must mean none shall, ever. It is self defeating, but I can see where someone may get stuck here.
And if the outcome is seen to be inevitably unfavorable, might as well take control of it to ensure the expected result.
That’s why, over in the “Someone Proclaims Outloud to be Happy” thread, I was irritated that the OP of that admits to seeing someone at a “Singles Site” who told him previously she’s happy being single, and sends her this crap:
This is the type of thing I’m referring to. I answer a guy, I’ll say I don’t see a connection. They think I should “try” anyway... no. Just no. They keep it up, find me months later, then having no idea if I’ve been seeing someone, going out on dates or what, message some obnoxious thing like this. Or: “I see you’re still here, kinda picky, where’s that gettin ya?” or “Not doing so well now, are you!” or like ThisTown, he asks this woman who’s not interested in dating him: “I thought you closed up shop, but you’re sniffing around!”
WTF?! Why does a guy or even woman, think they know why they see someone on a site and that they should give them crap? Just like some of the posters who think they’re so clever in detecting: “Oh every six months I come back and there you are!” (Yeah?! Well there YOU are too Timothy, whatdya know?!)
Fun fact, on one dating site if you block someone from messaging you, it expires in 6 months. So take someone with a flowery imagination and they can message you with all kinds of scenarios they’ve decided you’re partaking in....”Here you are again 6 months later!” Yeah? ...So? Then they wonder why it’s fair women have a site where the men can’t message them first.
My Son has gotten this type of behavior. It’s numerous factors, most of which is tied to the safety of anonymity and the internet.
OLD is a naturally judgmental arena. It’s shouting in to an endless void of people and hearing everything about yourself you never wanted to hear while looking for the one good messenger who understands you.
My Son has gotten this type of behavior. It’s numerous factors, most of which is tied to the safety of anonymity and the internet.
OLD is a naturally judgmental arena. It’s shouting in to an endless void of people and hearing everything about yourself you never wanted to hear while looking for the one good messenger who understands you.
I am always amused by it. I won’t deny it may work with some girls, but it would’ve gotten anyone I ever dated shot down fast. I wonder if there is a phase some girls go through where their insecurities leave them vulnerable to this. Or maybe it’s a product of the “bad boy” phase some girls go through? That they’d allow themselves to be talked to like this?
Or, perhaps people who are very confident... either they see it as "I just don't believe there's someone who isn't into me!" or they like a challenge, or they think "I'm great enough that I can bring them around." (Or, they may just think it's game-playing, and not serious.)
That’s hilarious. Reality is going to have a heyday with that guy.
oh it did.
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