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Yes, they do. And my former FWB is coming over tomorrow to join my wife and me at a wine tasting. Actually, there's nothing to get away with, as it is all above board and platonic, and we all trust each other for many good reasons.
I draw the line at my SO taking a trip with someone she had sex with before. Because if it happened once (read: she felt attracted enough to let him have sex with her), it can and will happen again.
The only kind of male friend I'd be OK with her traveling with, is the one she wouldn't sleep with in a million years.
I draw the line at my SO taking a trip with someone she had sex with before. Because if it happened once (read: she felt attracted enough to let him have sex with her), it can and will happen again.
The only kind of male friend I'd be OK with her traveling with, is the one she wouldn't sleep with in a million years.
Different strokes, as they say. I do find it sad that you can't trust her to establish and enforce boundaries, though.
It is my opinion that people who say that men and women cannot be friends, are only truly saying that THEY don't operate that way, aren't comfortable with it, or it isn't a fit with how they interact with the opposite sex. Which isn't really that much of an issue I guess, so long as they are honest about it. It's the bit where a guy is saying it to mean, "If I were treating a woman as a friend, it would only be to trick her into bed eventually" that feels kinda sketch to me. If a dude doesn't feel ok being just friends...really, really just friends...with a woman, then fine. Roll how ya roll. But there's no need to be manipulative about things.
Just my opinion though. I don't like games.
Only you can gauge how things stand, what you are and aren't ok with, in your life and interactions. You didn't say if you would be ok with further intimacy if it were to happen. You say you are both single, so would it be a terrible thing if you hooked up again? Is it kinda...fine either way?
I do think that if either of you had a significant other, then that does change things. It isn't so much a matter of whether something WOULD happen or not, it's often a matter of just trying to be compassionate to the feelings of a partner, and do boundaries with that in mind if we are able to do that in a reasonable way. For some people, not being friends at all with people of the opposite sex when in a relationship, is the only way to go. That wouldn't work for me. I will always have many, many people I care about in my life, and some will always be men. Just how it is. But I do endeavor not to plan 1-on-1 private time with them, both to avoid giving them the wrong idea if I'm absolutely NOT available for intimacy...and to be considerate to my partner, so he won't wonder or fear that something is happening when it's not.
I totally agree with you. I have male friends I would never even think of doing anything with. With this one i would if we both were feeling the same way.If he or I had a partner I would definitely set boundaries. But we are both single so it makes more sense for us to hang out together.
I totally agree with you. I have male friends I would never even think of doing anything with. With this one i would if we both were feeling the same way.If he or I had a partner I would definitely set boundaries. But we are both single so it makes more sense for us to hang out together.
Cool! Well then, I think all I can say is... Have fun!
Different strokes, as they say. I do find it sad that you can't trust her to establish and enforce boundaries, though.
It's not about trust; it's about ATTRACTION. If at one point, she was attracted to him enough to have sex with him, that attraction isn't going anywhere. She will feel it toward him. Which could result in sex yet again, given how attraction is a very powerful emotion. Unless, of course, he started acting like a submissive, boring, approval-seeking chump---which easily lowers a woman's attraction down to zero---but that's highly unlikely.
Done it 4 times already and it was just fine. Went to Mexico, France, Morocco, and Thailand. Same room, no big deal. Still remain in contact, no drama. There was a girl who liked me and wanted to plan a trip with me. With her I declined. Taking a trip with a girl that liked me just didn't look like a good idea. Didn't want to risk our friendship and hurting her feelings.
It's not about trust; it's about ATTRACTION. If at one point, she was attracted to him enough to have sex with him, that attraction isn't going anywhere. She will feel it toward him. Which could result in sex yet again, given how attraction is a very powerful emotion. Unless, of course, he started acting like a submissive, boring, approval-seeking chump---which easily lowers a woman's attraction down to zero---but that's highly unlikely.
All of this from the guy talking about a hypothetical SO that he would never have and will never exist because he doesn't want sex, doesn't do relationships, and believes that all women are Hitler in Heels looming over the doghouse where their poor miserable husbands cringe and cower instead of going out with their pals. Of course it's not about trust. You? Trust a woman? Pardon me while I dramatically fake laugh and slap my knee.
Can you tell us also how best to ride a unicorn through a meadow? How to properly address alien life forms? Since you're giving advice based on fiction anyways...
We are all well familiar with the theories of the Pill People, and the Men Who Go-eth. You don't need to come pushing their agenda constantly.
Also, as usual, you're wrong. The one man I am officially Least Likely to Ever Consider Sex With Again, is the ex I spent 18 years having (*cough* avoiding *cough*) sex with. It's not always "about attraction." Sure, he was appealing enough when I was 18. Before I got to KNOW him.
do you want something to happen; then, put the moves on him (be prepared for the slim chance of rejection).
if you dont want something to happen; then, tell him before the trip.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
There isn't a separate room......
We are both single and said we are only friends.
We hang out a lot and over the intimate part of our lives. It doesn't happen anymore. We just go out to bars, fun activities and out to eat together. I'd say he doesn't see me that way anymore. Just a buddy.
if its guaranteed nothing is gonna' happen, then whats the point of this thread.
Last edited by stanley-88888888; 06-28-2019 at 06:50 AM..
The only kind of male friend I'd be OK with her traveling with, is the one she wouldn't sleep with in a million years.
Under the right conditions, she might!
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