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Him not wanting kids has nothing to do with video games. Actually, I have known people that would like to have a kid or two to play games with. Can it be that he just doesn't want kids?
It's not the video games. He can't even share his down time with the woman he supposedly loves. And he's not 23 years old. You can tell that this guy would be resentful that he has to stop doing his chosen activity when the baby needs changing etc.
I am not saying he is addict because he goes to work, eat food, spend time with me, goes to gym however, gaming is very important for him.
A couple days ago he was upset about something in his game and I wanted him to tell me what is wrong but he kept saying I don't understand and I think games are stupid so what's the point he shares his frustration about a game his playing with me.
Plus when we went on a week trip he didn't have his computer and he was fine. He did play with his phone a lot though.
I don't know .
I don't know if u want to be part of it but I feel much better emotionally since I have been with him.
I don't have family not a lot if friends and have depressive and manic mood depends on the day.
Since I have been with him I like life better but I don't know if I feel like that for ever.
he kept saying I don't understand and I think games are stupid so what's the point he shares his frustration about a game his playing with me.
He is right, correct?
….have depressive and manic mood depends on the day
You have your issues too. He is probably not complaining about them like how you are
complaining about what he does.
I can get green card without him. It is not a marriage based green card.
He gives me emotional support but nothing particular.
He says since I lived with him his place feels like home and he is happier than ever been.
He likes me to play video games with him or watch Japanese animate but I am not into neither of those.
I don't know other than intimacy and companionship what else I give him.
He doesn't ask for that much from me which is what annoys me.
It's not the video games. He can't even share his down time with the woman he supposedly loves. And he's not 23 years old. You can tell that this guy would be resentful that he has to stop doing his chosen activity when the baby needs changing etc.
Right, but this is just the way he is. There's nothing right or wrong with it. Maybe he knows he wouldn't be the best father, that's why he doesn't want kids. There is nothing wrong with that.
Obviously she likes him, so there is something he is doing right.
Right, but this is just the way he is. There's nothing right or wrong with it. Maybe he knows he wouldn't be the best father, that's why he doesn't want kids. There is nothing wrong with that.
Yes, it's his choice, and the best news is that he told her all this up front, but he hasn't wavered, which is what the OP is hoping for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by M3Guy
Obviously she likes him, so there is something he is doing right.
He does a lot of things right, but the OP is clinging to him like a life preserver, expecting him to be her sole source of emotional support and well being, which is completely unfair and unhealthy.
She needs to be brave enough to understand that while he is supporting her emotionally right now, he is not the right one for her long term, and she needs to be gracious enough to walk away and learn how to stand on her own.
Yes, it's his choice, and the best news is that he told her all this up front, but he hasn't wavered, which is what the OP is hoping for.
He does a lot of things right, but the OP is clinging to him like a life preserver, expecting him to be her sole source of emotional support and well being, which is completely unfair and unhealthy.
She needs to be brave enough to understand that while he is supporting her emotionally right now, he is not the right one for her long term, and she needs to be gracious enough to walk away and learn how to stand on her own.
She probably needs to expand her circle of friends maybe.
OP, do you have a group of friends? Maybe when he is playing video games, just go out with your buddies. Then maybe he will become more aware that he has a GF. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
How likely it is I am find someone who has all criteria I want?
He is handsome, educated, has a good job, is understandable, kind, and loves me.
I am not sure how likely it is I find someone with all of these criteria plus be talkative and shares his life with me over speaking.
How about adding to your criteria: talks to you, has interesting conversations with you (what's the point of being educated, if you and he can't share the fruits of that education with each other?), actually spends time with you (currently, he's married to his video games)?
What are your priorities in a partner, OP? Would you be willing to trade "handsome" for "attentive, and interesting conversationalist"? Or for "enjoys spending time with me"? Or "takes me to concerts and interesting lectures"? What about sex/bonding? He seems to prefer video games. Is he asexual? Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with just a cuddle and a kiss when you go to bed, while he spends the rest of the evening, before and after your bed-time, on his computer? Is that your image of marriage?
Moving in together is a good way of finding out what someone is really like. Now that you know what he's like, what are you going to do?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-27-2019 at 09:11 AM..
I can get green card without him. It is not a marriage based green card.
He gives me emotional support but nothing particular.
He says since I lived with him his place feels like home and he is happier than ever been. He likes me to play video games with him or watch Japanese animate but I am not into neither of those.
I don't know other than intimacy and companionship what else I give him.
He doesn't ask for that much from me which is what annoys me.
His main interest in life outside of work isn't shared by you. What interests do you two have in common, if any? Before you moved in, what did dates consist of ? What common ground did you find with each other? Right now, it doesn't sound like you have much in common. How do you spend your leisure time--what are your interests? Does he share any of those?
You mention you'r'e bipolar. Are you taking meds for that? Some patients find them tremendously helpful.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-27-2019 at 10:13 AM..
I’m confused. You say he spends time with you and that’s one of the things you love about him, but you then complain he’s not spending ENOUGH time with you.
If it the type of time you are spending together you don’t approve of?
You’re contradicting yourself all over the thread.
How is your social life outside of your relationship? So you have a social circle or people you talk to?
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