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I haven’t ask or talked to her about the benefits part, not sure if I should or not.
Where in the discussion did you mention you might want to move closer to her? Was it before she wanted to change the relationship? Could it possibly be that she is getting uncomfortable that you are thinking of moving closer and feeling that you are wanting to escalate the relationship?
Why not ask?? What would it hurt to ask to define what she wanted? Is the change in relationship going to hurt less if she defines it as no more benefits but she still would be glad to have dinner with you?
Part of any relationship ... even platonic ones... is the ability to communicate.
IMHO she seems to have made her wishes pretty clear and she's also been nice about change. Why would the benefits continue if what she wants is to scale your relationship back? Friends aren't intimate unless there's some newfangled sub-category of FWB these days. Isn't that what you have now and what she no longer wants? What don't you get?
from the o.p. i get the sense she thinks that o.p. is falling in love (planning to move cross-country for her). i think she is just reminding him: woah dude. you are still just a jump-off.
Last edited by stanley-88888888; 06-30-2019 at 07:42 AM..
Apart of me wouldn’t mind still being her friend because I enjoy the friendship, but I still want to have sex with her.
As others have said. That part is OVER. Find someone closer to home to do that. If you obsess over that part of the relationship with her it will only be counterproductive and hold you back from finding another relationship. Maybe one with more than just friends with benefits.
Should I flirt if or when I see again to see where we stand. She said she cares about me, or should I ask if the benefits are still on?
No, it's pretty clear that you don't understand. All you keep asking about here is how to maintain the sex part and you don't seem at all concerned about the actual friendship part. I think you need to start being honest with her and with yourself.
"Okay but should I try to hold her hand and snuggle up close to her when I see her? Do you think once she sees how into her I am she'll change her mind?"
"Okay but should I try to hold her hand and snuggle up close to her when I see her? Do you think once she sees how into her I am she'll change her mind?"
... Lol!!! He is just very desperate for sex. Seems like he isn't going to get any for a while...
And I think that he is confusing sex with friendship.
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