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The reason that dating is so hard nowadays is because there are so many written and unwritten rules. Case-in-point; the VAST majority of women I know (>90%) and even on these threads would not go for a man saying, "ok, well let me know when you'd like to go out." Many would call the man indecisive and not taking the lead by throwing the ball back in her court. Now, I'm not saying that this is right or wrong. Just not recommended etiquette from what I've heard, so that is likely why a lot of guys can't just say that. Again, this is an example of where all the "rules" may impact simple (or preferred) communication.
yeah, and that's why I was gonna say "but I'm not a dating coach/expert" lol. that's just what I would prefer, rather than the alternative of keep asking to meet right away, then get stressed out, then they assume I'm not interested and disappear. I usually just message them when I'm ready to see if they still wanna go out, and they do, but seem surprised like they thought I wasn't interested bc I didn't meet before when they wanted to, and I tried to tell them that no, it just takes a while to get ready, especially with anxiety. and then later I wonder if they thought I was desperate or something for contacting them, or that I was just looking for sex when really they were the ones that asked me out first, and I was just taking a rain check. lol
You mean you're saying it in person? Because there is no pleasant "tone" in texting.
If you don't offer me a concrete date and time but say that ^^, I would take that line to have a frustrated tone.
No I mean on the phone, trying to set up a date and when she says she is busy then the guy says,,,,"Oh ok well just let me know when your schedule frees up, Talk to you soon"
No I mean on the phone, trying to set up a date and when she says she is busy then the guy says,,,,"Oh ok well just let me know when your schedule frees up, Talk to you soon"
Gotcha.
Yeah, to me that's a kiss-off. A polite kiss-off, but still a kiss-off.
Why is that a kiss-off? He's proposed a time to meet, she's busy. It's now on her to say, well, I'm free Monday and Tuesday.
Honestly, if businesses ran the way OLD runs, the US economy would grind to a halt in 6 months.
And this kind of interaction often does grind to a halt because no one steps forward to make a move and they end up in texting purgatory, with nothing happening.
Then they come here and want us to help then analyze every freaking text, when he won't just say, "Let's go eat on Friday..." or she won't say, "Sorry, I just don't feel a spark."
The OP never said she offered an alternate time. So if he proposes a time and she doesn't offer an alternative, he will look like a ***** if he offers ANOTHER alternate time. So he has to basically bow out gracefully and say, "Welp, this has been fun. Call me if you're free."
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
And this kind of interaction often does grind to a halt because no one steps forward to make a move and they end up in texting purgatory, with nothing happening.
Then they come here and want us to help then analyze every freaking text, when he won't just say, "Let's go eat on Friday..." or she won't say, "Sorry, I just don't feel a spark."
The OP never said she offered an alternate time. So if he proposes a time and she doesn't offer an alternative, he will look like a ***** if he offers ANOTHER alternate time. So he has to basically bow out gracefully and say, "Welp, this has been fun. Call me if you're free."
It's beginning to look like we won't have much of a future generation of children, if it is left up to OLD to provide a way to partner up.
This, the grandchildren or great grandchildren of WW2 soldiers. How have they become so frail? Their grandparents must be turning in their graves. Come ON, kids, MAN UP!!! Step up to the plate!
So saying...."ok let me know when your schedule frees up and give me a call" is a problem? lol
Wow
Yes. That would be the last time you would ever hear from a majority of women I know, if you said that. From what I am told, it is weak and indecisive. Many women like a man to lead, and by throwing the ball back in their court, you are putting the burden on them to take the lead. So for many women, yes, it is a problem.
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