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I agree about learning about real life, but explicit descriptions are not what she's asking for, and certainly not what she wants at this stage.
Agreed. It's too much random and disparate information, the internet equivalent of "learning it on the streets" that parents used to warn their kids against.
You aren't supposed to have it daily unless you want to. You might find you'd like to have it more than once a day. Particularly if you love someone, it is something you may find you want to do frequently. Sometimes it may take a long time, sometimes it might be a few minutes aka a quickie. Consider sex as a great dessert and romance as a meal. Sometimes we want to skip a meal. Sometimes we want dessert first.
You also might want to think about what you consider as romance. Is it Walking In The Moonlight, candles, flowers, poetry. That might be good stuff, but if it's only once in a while and the rest of the time your fellow is busy drinking beer and hanging out with his friends or playing video games......
What's better than flowers and wining and dining is the man that shows up when your car breaks down to make sure you are ok. The fellow that shares in making dinner and housework. The one that takes the kids out to the park to give you time to soak in the bath. The guy that thinks you are beautiful if you aren't wearing makeup and you've been sat on by a wet, stinky dog.
If you spend your whole time looking for romance you are going to miss it. It is the little things added up, not the big gestures that are made to impress or because it's Valentine's day and it's a person's duty to give a present or go out to dinner.
i think this comment is really sweet. i agree with you a lot, what i’m trying to say is that i feel like so many people do it because they’re expected to not because they’re in the mood and because they truly want to, how can someone be in the mood daily after a certain age it doesn’t make sense. I dont want dessert every day lol
There is no “normal@; sexual frequency tends to ebb and flow over the course of a long term relationship. Personally, after 20 years of marriage, the times when we were “on a daily” started to feel routine; almost like brushing one’s teeth. The most intense and satisfying encounters have been those which are spontaneous, regardless of frequency.
yeah that’s what I’m saying, there’s no way someone wants to do that every single day after marriage and kids I honestly don’t think it’s possible
I haven't read every post, but I read several pages on this thread.
I think you have a lot of experience to learn over time. And, you don't yet understand all the ins and outs of this topic when it comes to people in marriages and relationships. You will learn.
But, you should understand some things - people have pointed out to you that such topics of sex and the frequency that someone likes gets worked out as a couple usually. However, as at least 1 person pointed out to you - it is not fair to 1 partner for the other partner to unilaterally cut the sex off. Men AND woman like sex. Some more than others. Some at a high frequency than others.
But, if you realistically think you can get married and cut off sex to the man... Or, have it 1x a year or on "special occasions" as you stated - you do not have a realistic view of a healthy relationship. And know this. 90% of guys are not going to go along with that. If you do that, you likely won't stay married.
I think it is Dr Laura (on her radio show) that urged women to be their husband's boyfriend" and for husbands to be the boyfriend for their wife. Meaning - don't stop doing the things that got you that person in your life, if you want to keep them.
If you have some aversion to sex, you may want to look into that further. Of course, all of this is academic, as you do not have nay direct experience yet,
Absolutely not. Even if the physical aspect stops, we have a friendship (I think it should be more than that) that goes back to 2004, he's stuck with me until he dies, and he knows it.
You're nervous and unsure about it all because you don't have any experience with it and you don't know what it will be like or if you will be into it or if you will be any good etc.
It's natural to feel that way.
Just give yourself a chance to get there at your own pace. Don't freak out.
you know what’s funny i’m over at my friend’s place right now and this is what she’s talking about, I’m telling you it’s all everyone talks about. it kind of strengthens the insecurity. she’s talking about how she feels like her boyfriend isn’t attracted to her because they sleep together .... fill in the blank lol. she’s really upset about it too so trying to figure out a way to make her feel better even though I have no idea how or what to say.
you know what’s funny i’m over at my friend’s place right now and this is what she’s talking about, I’m telling you it’s all everyone talks about. it kind of strengthens the insecurity. she’s talking about how she feels like her boyfriend isn’t attracted to her because they sleep together .... fill in the blank lol. she’s really upset about it too so trying to figure out a way to make her feel better even though I have no idea how or what to say.
A lot of the posts on here are TMI to a huge degree for this 18 year old inexperienced girl. If your daughter or kid sister were the OP would you want some of these comments made to her?
She brought up the subject matter. Maybe she's too "inexperienced" to be on an adult forum talking with people who do have experience. She asked, we all answered, and she's going to get better information than from her peers.
She brought up the subject matter. Maybe she's too "inexperienced" to be on an adult forum talking with people who do have experience. She asked, we all answered, and she's going to get better information than from her peers.
Some posters introduced new topics she did not ask about.
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