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That's how you are reading it...........but read my posts & you will see I said I believe him & this is *my* decision to make. I only *WISH* we could make it later....because it's hard for me to make a final decision on something I would not be ready for right now anyways. I said all of that too.
If he got a vasectomy tomorrow....I'd still feel as I have been feeling when I think about all of it. A little sad and *final* at the loss....but still very happy & in love....
Then do your own thing OP. You are all the assurance you need.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,577,093 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Then do your own thing OP. You are all the assurance you need.
As someone said...there is loss either way......& it's only a matter of coming to terms with it. Nothing is ever perfect.....it just so happens I fell in love with an older man. Thank you!
That's how you are reading it...........but read my posts & you will see I said I believe him & this is *my* decision to make. I only *WISH* we could make it later....because it's hard for me to make a final decision on something I would not be ready for right now anyways. I said all of that too.
That's the thing ... there is no "we." There is no decision for the two of you to make together.
HE has already decided what he's doing.
If you stay with him, you are either choosing to be child free, or you are choosing to delay heartbreak. That's it.
There doesn't have to be heartbreak....maybe just a little bittersweet.
I don't mean heartbreak about being childfree. It's an either/or situation.
Either you'll be happy and child free, or the heartbreak comes when you stay with him and then realize 6-7-8 years from now that you do, in fact, want kids. If that happens 8 years down the road, you're either dealing with that loss or the loss from breaking up with him after all that time.
But this is not something the two of you are deciding together. It's ALL on you. That's why I said earlier this decision is forcing your hand. You may not be ready to decide, but you kind of have to.
Like it or not, it's basically the universe telling you that it's too soon to move in together.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,577,093 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
Yes, I'd break up over that issue. There is no way to compromise on it.
For someone who wants & values having a child...& wants to risk finding someone out there again to have a child.. over a wonderful relationship now....that would be the thing to do.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,577,093 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
I don't mean heartbreak about being childfree. It's an either/or situation.
Either you'll be happy and child free, or the heartbreak comes when you stay with him and then realize 6-7-8 years from now that you do, in fact, want kids. If that happens 8 years down the road, you're either dealing with that loss or the loss from breaking up with him after all that time.
But this is not something the two of you are deciding together. It's ALL on you. That's why I said earlier this decision is forcing your hand. You may not be ready to decide, but you kind of have to.
Like it or not, it's basically the universe telling you that it's too soon to move in together.
I could also risk leaving my Bf over this....& never find another relationship. Or...what if he said for me, he would have a baby? Then what...? We can look at life in so many different ways....I'm not a betting girl. I look at all that is in front of me...& I'm so lucky to have the love I have now. Is it likely it would happen TWICE...all in time to *maybe* have a baby? I don't think so.........
It just sounds like deep down you aren't ready to move in with him.
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