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I don’t understand how someone could be so cruel. How, in May he tells me that he’s a ****ed up person, he just wants to be left alone. He’s a ****ty person, and I’m over here worried ****less about this guy because I cared about him deeply, and I wanted to make sure that he was okay. I wanted to make sure that if he needed anything, that he could always just ask me because I’m there for you and I know what it’s like to be going through whatever it is and not have someone there.
So I was there. This happened like 3rd/4th week of May. In that very same week, he then tells me how he wants nothing to do with me and my emotions, and honestly y’all. I was at first heartbroken (still am, but wait there’s more) I’m upset and hurt at this guy because I just like showed to you how much I care about you, how much I would be there for you, but then you want to tell me that you want nothing to do with me nor nothing to do with my emotions, and then I’m just like “fine, you know what, bet!” But truthfully that week of May and hitting June have been hard for me because I didn’t understand what I did to this guy besides showed that I cared.
So I’m here heartbroken, begging my Gods and Goddesses to remove this pain because I couldn’t deal anymore. I couldn’t deal with that kind of heart and then having my friends say my eyes are screaming that they are hurt, and then breaking down into tears.
Then last week he wants to come back, and me with my always giving people chances self took him back, and he wants to act as if he didn’t say those things and do those things. I honestly just cracked, and then I ask him why does he keep coming in and out of my life constantly, why does he keep doing that if he doesn’t want to stick around? Like why come back for the 4th/5th time.
(No this wasn’t the first time, but this being the most recent made me just lose it and something in me just broke)
And then he wants to tell me how “oh, you’re always texting and bothering me” that’s because I have all of these questions on why you treat me like this and how he likes to say “oh, I didn’t do anything wrong to you, at least I didn’t **** you and then ghosted” and how he likes to say that he walks with God and whatever
And I’m here like whenever I do something wrong or make a mistake towards you, I have to take responsibility for it but the minute I say you did this that hurt me, you tell me you didn’t do anything wrong. You tell me how you see nothing wrong with what you did and when I call you out on what you do to me, it’s an issue. But if the tables were turned, I’ll have to take responsibility so ****ing fast like, and then he blocked me and it’s like
How the **** can someone say that they didn’t do anything to hurt you. Guys, I can’t. My heart is breaking, and it hurts so much that I tried to express that and he refuses to see that, he refuses to see that it’s because of what he did and said to me in May.
After all I did was cared about him deeply and be there for him, and tried to understand him. This is what he does?
He sounds...
All I can say is that I've been through something like this and the best thing to do is walk away, cut all ties with this person and don't even let him back in. Don't even give him a thought. Don't give him anymore chances, he only means to hurt you.
He's a user.All he cares about is what he can get from you.He knows that you care about him and he gets off on that.Why are you still dealing with this awful excuse of a human being??Some people unfortunately is like this.It's his problem that he doesn't think he has...which is why you need to drop him and never deal with this person ever again or else you will always be on this awful roller coaster of a ride with him..hurting yourself more and more.
All I can say is that I've been through something like this and the best thing to do is walk away, cut all ties with this person and don't even let him back in. Don't even give him a thought. Don't give him anymore chances, he only means to hurt you.
This. 100%
Even if you're not understanding the why (some people are just bad is why. Narcissistic, users, takers not givers.) Your best move is no contact, ever. And go slow, listen to your gut feeling, before you start to get attached to the next person. What does your instinct say at first?
And do not rescue men, people in general. They don't appreciate it because it means you basically have judged them to be inferior, in need of your help. I know you just want love and mean well, but there are victims and there are rescuers and victims usually do not give back and come to resent the rescuer.
Men love the one they can rescue the damsel in distress. Not the loving woman, the martyr who "would do anything for them" what has he given to earn this devotion?
Kiddies, when somebody says something like this to you, run away.
Very fast.
I agree. My abusive ex said a lot of similar stuff to me in the beginning. He tried to warn me he was messed up, not suited to relationships, and basically incapable. He was very attracted to me and said he didn't have the self-control to stay away but he recommended I stay away from him. I soothed him, told him he was wrong, told him he was capable and did everything I could to support his involvement in our relationship.
Years of hell later, I finally accepted that when people tell you who they are, you should listen.
Hon, don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure him out and don't beat yourself up. It doesn't matter why. It's the behavior that matters. I know it is hard to do, but cut your losses and move on. Surround yourself with people that build you up and that don't tear you down. It's not about you, it's about him. I've seen this crap and get better and better at spotting it. He didn't give you any of the good qualities that you have, and he cannot take them away either. Hang in there. And, no matter how hard it is or whatever he says or does, don't let him back in. You may not believe it right now but it WILL get better.
You should read the book Codependent No More. It will open your eyes to how you've become totally codependent with this guy and it will teach you how to break that bad habit once and for all.
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