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OP- you are both young. And there could be so many different reasons as to why he won't participate. Only HE would know the reason. Or not.
There are only so many things you can do too;
- accept it
-leave the relationship and move on
And even if you do decide to accept it, there is no guarantee that HE will, long term. You could just be going on your merry way, persevering with the way things are, to come home one day to find that he's done persevering and wants to end things.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,727,010 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
Ah, come on! Nothing but excuses. My whole area I live in works 12 hours/day on the fields, they live with 20+ people in tiny houses and still find the time to make 6-9 babies.
That is only indicative of the fact they had sex 6-9 times. No one knows how many times outside of that they are getting it on. I’ve actually worked in a warehouse probably unlike a lot of posters who don’t have the experience to say it can’t tire someone out. It is a completely legitimate happening.
Let’s not even mention second and third shift folk who do that type of work.
Ah, come on! Nothing but excuses. My whole area I live in works 12 hours/day on the fields, they live with 20+ people in tiny houses and still find the time to make 6-9 babies.
Yeah, I've worked construction in 120 degree weather and passed out from a heat stroke and I was still able to...take care of the business. I've had women tell me that heat stroke sex was the best they've ever had.
But I can see how work can wear you out and kill your libido. If you have to do strenuous work AND put up with all kinds of drama, you will be left physically AND emotionally exhausted.
Honestly, at that age I was a major horn dog but my GF gained a LOT of weight in a short time and I became very un-attracted to her. I still loved her but sex just sucked. We should have talked but she was already self consumed and it would have made it worse. We just drifted apart. Communication is key.
That is what I thought. Did the OP gain a lot of weight during the relationship, or let herself go? Or did the boyfriend do the same? If so he may be have esteem issues. If she has, he may not be as attracted to her anymore. Weight (fat) can absolutely kill the physical part of a relationship, or the relationship itself.
**UPDATE**
As I told you guys in the original post His reasons for not wanting to were because of work and being stressed mostly. We were friends before the relationship so Keep in mind all these reasons been were issues before we even made it official and even throughout. As I took some of you guys awesome suggestions I left the situation alone because hey I cant do much. But here’s the catch.. now he wants to ! I know some of you are gonna say “well you got what you wanted” but my thing is we’ve been intimate with those same reasons then all of a sudden he turns me down for a month because of it then 24hrs (same stress same job) later he’s all on me !! He says its because it makes him want me more but it sounds a little bit suspicious. its funny because in the beginning talk to him I told him that rejecting me will cause me to have resentment and not want to do anything which is how I feel now but any who..
to answer some questions I seen. No we don't live together but we are together every day. He’s attempting to get in a higher position in his job but having difficulties. No he’s not big on porn (lol) I think he may have PTSD because his sister died 2 years ago but he claims it doesn't effect him as much anymore because “if its your time its your time”
But THANK YOU GUYS SOO MUCH for your comments and replies I needed unbiased opinions & some truly were helpful )
Hey, I've got a thought from what you've said here...
You said that his sister died 2 years ago. Like how close to exactly 2 years? Is it possible there was an anniversary of her death, or her Birthday, or something that made him think of her?
Thing is, I know he said to you things that made you think he was dealing with that just fine, but men OFTEN hide it when they are feeling sad. They don't always share that, or even feel comfortable or know how. I know a guy whose first wife died like over a decade (probably closer to 2 decades) ago, and on the anniversary of her death, and on her Birthday, and on certain holidays, he still gets super depressed.
It might have just been a thing he was going through.
Also, ya know, sometimes I go through phases in life where my energy is low. Who knows why. I'm not getting enough sleep, not eating the right nutrition, they maybe had him doing harder than usual work at his job for a time, or it's the weather, it could be anything. Sometimes we're just going through a thing, feeling a little less energetic than normal.
I'd give it some time before you make any serious life commitments, and try to learn more about him, if there are patterns, if this is something you can expect at times, if there is more to it that you don't know. But you can tell him how you feel, without nagging him. You should both be considering one another's feelings about such things.
Yeah, I've worked construction in 120 degree weather and passed out from a heat stroke and I was still able to...take care of the business. I've had women tell me that heat stroke sex was the best they've ever had.
Women need a reason, men just need a place. LOL!
Guess what I've even had sex....when I had...*drumroll* a HEADACHE!!
I’ve done warehouse work on a temp basis. Key work there, TEMP. It can be exhausting, especially if he is picking. Pickers can sometime walk 12 miles a day and that is not even with the weight of carrying products. That will drain you, yes even a healthy 24 year old guy.
That is the key word. People working those types of jobs full time get accustomed to it. It wore you out because you weren't doing it on a regular basis.
I don't feel it's a legit excuse for the OP's boyfriend.
That was a response to the questions: how many hours/week does he work. Sorry to learn you're not able to follow the discussion.
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