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You know, this whole “beggars can’t be choosers” attitude is one reason why people aren’t successful with dating.
You guys don’t like it to be said to you, but you’re sure quick to fling it back at the “chubby girl.”
“Hot” is in the eye of the beholder. None of us is going to be attractive OR attracted to everybody, and the whole leagues mindset and leveling up or down BS is keeping you deluded.
Just be kind. Even if they’re a-holes, doesn’t mean you have to be one too.
It definitely is not attractive.
Yes, there are many aspects of dating, outside of looks, that ultimately determine compatibility. But, I don't think it's BS to say that in general physically attractive men date/marry physically attractive women (ppl who most would agree are attractive). I think this is normally what happens, even though exceptions do exist.
Yes, there are many aspects of dating, outside of looks, that ultimately determine compatibility. But, I don't think it's BS to say that in general physically attractive men date/marry physically attractive women (ppl who most would agree are attractive). I think this is normally what happens, even though exceptions do exist.
I've dated people who I thought were nice looking but people around me have thought they were not attractive at all. Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, perhaps that applies a bit more for women though.
I’ve tried old and it never worked for me.. couldn’t ever get a response back.. I never deleted my profile but I stayed off it and after a few years I got my first message from a lady.
I knew by her picture I had no physical attraction at all but since I can never get dates I figured why not give it a shot even knowing myself and how my attraction works that this probably would go nowhere.
She was fine as a person had fun taking to her but there was no way I could ever be intimate wit her. She called me and asked for another date I felt bad but I just couldn’t do it. There was no way I could picture even kissing her.
I know how my attraction works and I’d rather be alone the rest of my life then with someone I’m not physically attracted to at all which might be my situation but so be it.
I learned early on that is best to not pursue people I'm not attracted to. Not doing anybody any favors by lying to them or yourself. May seem harsh but nowadays I simply avoid people I'm not attracted to. I don't say hi, I don't flirt, I don't even look at them or their profiles. I keep it moving. People that lie to you aren't real and aren't really your friends.
Wait...if you are chubby, you need to go out with people you don't find attractive?
Is that the rule? Or is it that if you're chubby, you're obligated to find anyone who approaches you attractive?
This was just an example , being chubby is just one physical flaw of many that is an example of how people tend to go after what they themselves cannot offer.
Like a chubby person desiring only men with washboard abs, an athletic person when they themselves had never set foot in a gym.
So you are shallow, at least you know this going forward. Nothing wrong with it.
That's not shallow at all. There has to be some physical chemistry going on if a relationship is ever going to go beyond platonic friendship. You can't be physically repulsed by someone. Won't work, and it's not fair to them either.
There had been times where I'd not get any responses from the women that I had been attracted to, that I would go through a phase of, "Hm, wonder what kind of response would I get if I emailed someone I didn't find so attractive".
I took it down a notch, contacted a chubby gal that was into the same things I'm into. Got no response, later I found out through a friend that knew her that she wasn't physically attracted to me. I was like "Huh? Has she not looked in the mirror lately? LOL"
It seems almost like you expected her to respond favorably to your contacting her. As if since she was chubby she is obligated to respond to anyone who contacts her and at least try to get to know them. But chubby girls are often just as selective as any other girl. It’s almost like they’re regular girls who value themselves and have a mind and preferences of their own!
I’ll give you some credit: seeking out a person who had similar interests listed. Seems you’d have been willing to give it a try had she been interested in you. But you made a flawed assumption from the start by “devaluing” her. She obviously didn’t know this, but it’s made the experience noteworthy to you because you did. Otherwise she’d likely just be another swing and a miss. Most of us have been rejected by more people than we can remember. But this one has stuck with you for some reason and it’s probably your own doing.
Also, as a guy who likes chubby girls I can tell you they are every bit as selective as other girls. I dated fit/athletic girls for a while before eventually shifting my efforts to chubby girls. My success rate was no higher. (I did okay as it was, but it wasn’t like the chubby girls were lined up outside my door just because I was interested in them.) These are still regular girls who like what they like and can’t force a preference any better than anyone else. Furthermore they are often used to receiving the same type of reaction you described: they express their lack of interest and have people attack their appearance, specifically their weight. If word ever got back to her you elreacted the way you did I guarantee she won’t be surprised: she’s seen it a few times already.
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