Separation and keeping in contact with your ex?

[beckycat]

So, today was a successful day. I finally got him to answer my unanswered questions via text. I got what I wanted to hear even though it may not have been exactly what I wanted to hear. I hit him with that we should file for divorce and he agreed. I think this will help with closure. I have been a mess the past few days but I actually feel somewhat relieved for now.

I just want to say thanks for all the honest responses here. You all have been so helpful. It's much appreciated.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by beckycat

So, today was a successful day. I finally got him to answer my unanswered questions via text. I got what I wanted to hear even though it may not have been exactly what I wanted to hear. I hit him with that we should file for divorce and he agreed. I think this will help with closure. I have been a mess the past few days but I actually feel somewhat relieved for now.

I just want to say thanks for all the honest responses here. You all have been so helpful. It's much appreciated.

I'm really glad for you, Becky. It's NOT easy, but you persevered.

Here's to even more happiness

[oh-eve]

Originally Posted by beckycat

I have been a mess the past few days but I actually feel somewhat relieved for now.

It will get much better when some time has passed. It is probably like separation all over with the pain and relief at the same time.

Hugs

[MarlaKK]

Originally Posted by beckycat

Well, I did talk to one of his close friends a couple weeks ago. He was reluctant to tell me but he said that DH told him he regrets what he's done and made a big mistake. I did mention a rebound relationship to DH and he said "sounds about right". I do know he has still has feelings for me from some of the things he's told me. He's also told me he misses me and my good cooking. He's dug himself pretty deep though and I have no clue how he would get himself out of it. She sold her house 650 miles away and left her entire family to move in with him 2 months ago. I don't know who does that but OK. Btw, they went to school together and reconnected on FB. Anyhow, I know he has a big heart (which he always has) and I can't see him just kicking her to the curb. I also can't see myself going through this again if he decided it wasn't working out. This is very painful since we had been together almost 30 years and share family and friends together. Yes, we got together right out of high school and the kids are both ours. Was it easy? No it wasn't but every marriage has it's ups and downs. I stuck by him all along and never gave up on him. There are probably times that I should have left for some of the foolish stuff he did. I was actually doing pretty well until I found out about the other woman. It just hurts.

I don't know what the future holds. I have been trying to accept the fact that we won't be getting back together and he's moved on. This is part of the healing process.

I do appreciate the kind words.

Well all in all regardless of whether you guys get a divorce or not give your SELF some time.
Don't rush into anything like he did. Take some time with and for yourself. many, many people now-a-days jump right into another relationship(trying to remove feelings for the past one) but it ends up going very VERY miserable(ala your hubs) so take some time. Focus on your family and if they have any grandbabies. Since you do have feelings for him also that is why you need time. Human emotions are not an on and off switch so there is nothing wrong with there being maybe even years before you get over the person. It is ok.


And thank you for being a sweetheart on here.

[beckycat]

Thanks everyone for the kind words as well.