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I would work this out with her, but considering our toxic history with our personalities when it comes to stress just doesn't mesh well in addition. I'm more easy going and she can be on edge or worried most of the time. And now this garbage with her ex. I am sure they are nothing more than friends, but the fact that she told me she ended talking to him but apparently hasn't, or could have possibly done this "one-off" helping his mother, which I doubt.
Sounds like you decided to break up after all.
What's also apparent is that you view yourself as the calm and rational one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by tchest77
... my ability to not be so responsive to it).
I do not overreact, I am sensitive, but I am understanding, and she knows this since this is the way I have always been.
I'm not an angry person and don't blow up at things ect, and am easy to talk to.
I don't have a bad temper, my attitude is usually positive, and I am a patient and easy going person.
I'm more easy going and she can be on edge or worried most of the time.
I'm not abusive and I did raise my voice but not screaming and I said I was not happy at all with this, that what happens sometimes when someone gets you angry.
I have not talked to her about this, and when I do I will not be screaming, but I will be hurt, angry, and disappointed.
and she's the nutcase.
The only thing this explanation makes any clearer is that equate being calm to being the right and healthy way to deal with stuff, and yet for some reason your GF still does not feel comfortable telling you the truth. That doesn't make sense.
Yeah, it could just be her anxiety, but it shouldn't take you FOUR YEARS to figure that out.
She should be used to and comfortable enough with you to NOT feel like she has to lie to you. Or else she is just so far gone that she can't deal with your rationally at all.
Also, the ex stuff is something else you two should have resolved by now. You see exes as completely in the past. Does she know that? What kind of help is she giving her ex's mom? Why does that matter SO much to her that she would jeopardize your engagement to handle it?
It sounds like enough time to figure out that you two aren't a match.
Been together with fiance for 4 years, we've been living together and engaged for 3 years, I'm a 42yr old male and shes a 40yr old female. I just caught her lying for a second time. This time she said she was at her parents but she was actually was helping her ex-boy friends mother find a new home. !
Do you need to know where she is at all times?
Helping her ex-boyfriend's mother doesn't mean she is still seeing the man.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,570,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Yeah, that's a given for most people. The point is they shouldn't have gotten engaged in the first place.
That's not even close to the worst of the issues they need to sort out.
But at least he is thinking about leaving the relationship now....so....what's done is done. He is already engaged......now he needs to think long & hard if he should stay engaged. He says he doesn't trust her....so why on earth would he try to sort anything out? Lacking trust is usually not repairable, at least not quickly......so why on earth would he stay?
But at least he is thinking about leaving the relationship now....so....what's done is done. He is already engaged......now he needs to think long & hard if he should stay engaged. He says he doesn't trust her....so why on earth would he try to sort anything out? Lacking trust is usually not repairable, at least not quickly......so why on earth would he stay?
Right? So why would he need to think long and hard about it?
I didn't see where he had made up his mind....he is staying?...(But I didn't read all of the thread).
Doesn't sound like he's staying.
Reading the whole thread makes your replies better. He did post a long follow-up today.
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