Is this really considered shallow? (man, older, friends, mature)

[Dsg1194]

So I’m almost 25 and never been in a relationship before

I don’t think I’m beautiful per se but I don’t think I’m ugly enough to fail to attract guys. I’ve only ever been approached by guys that I don’t find attractive. Everyone I know has had a cute guy approach them but I am never pursued by a guy that I would consider dating.

I’m told I’m attractive and don’t understand how someone my age is always single. I don’t know if I am just cursed or if there is something about me that repels guys. I was heavier growing up and maybe thought my weight prevented guys from approaching me. But now that I’ve slimmed down, I don’t see a difference in the attention that I receive.

What’s wrong with me or the men around me?

[jcp123]

Either your standards are too high, or you throw off a vibe the attractive men don’t want.

As a woman, you’re really in the driver’s seat. Us men are pretty gross, and if you aren’t getting quality men, it’s not for lack of volume.

[BobCaldwell]

That's the key. It matters not one whit how 'cute' you might think you are, nowadays men aren't going to bother too much with the 'cute girl with attitude written all over her face'. This ain't the 1920's, no one's trying to 'court' the girl with RBF.

Especially if she gives off the air of expecting to be courted while sitting there scowling for no reason. As a man those women become completely unattractive and invisible once that vibe has been noted.

[ocpaul20]

Nov3, I lived with a scarily powerful woman for nearly 20 years, and underneath they are still the same as other women - just that they need a partner who is as sure of themselves as they are. Powerful and independent women frighten off a lot of men I reckon.

Now OP, in that lies a truth, which is to know yourself better and to send out the right kind of messages when dating. So many people send out mixed messages because they do not know themselves and what they really want - only what they THINK they want to make themselves happy.

This is why so many people continuously attract the same kind of losers or the same kind of abusers, or the same kind of partners which they dumped last time. They do this until they learn more about themselves and then they are clear about their requirements.

[funymann]

Originally Posted by jcp123

Either your standards are too high, or you throw off a vibe the attractive men don’t want.

As a woman, you’re really in the driver’s seat. Us men are pretty gross, and if you aren’t getting quality men, it’s not for lack of volume.

This is true.

So use that position and approach the guys you like.

[Dsg1194]

So I’m almost 25 and never been in a relationship before

I don’t think I’m beautiful per se but I don’t think I’m ugly enough to fail to attract guys. I’ve only ever been approached by guys that I don’t find attractive. Everyone I know has had a cute guy approach them but I am never pursued by a guy that I would consider dating.

I’m told I’m attractive and don’t understand how someone my age is always single. I don’t know if I am just cursed or if there is something about me that repels guys. I was heavier growing up and maybe thought my weight prevented guys from approaching me. But now that I’ve slimmed down, I don’t see a difference in the attention that I receive.

What’s wrong with me or the men around me?
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[Lucy_C]

The problem is likely the vibe you give off - basically how approachable you are.

Your attitude and your personality may also be a contributing factor.

[ellie]

No, it’s the human condition. Single women attract all kinds of men but it seems that most of them are not grade A. Everyone aspires for the best they can get, hoping they can get lucky.

You’re not cursed.

Keep your head up. Good guys feel the same as you do, just read some of the posts on here. Dating is tough.

[SoCal_Native]

The key to happiness is to lower your standards.
"Good enough" is enough.

[LakeLifePA]

I'd say the men around you are just fine, and that you're not as attractive as you think you are. As said to you and others before, learn to lower your standards or be happy with how things are.