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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba
It's a little condescending to say that everybody who dislikes their job lives a miserable existence, what about the woman who works two lower wage jobs to feed her kids.
But like I said, if you don't care, you don't care...
I am not saying I'm Mother Teresa.......or that I don't care about people. Just that I wouldn't get romantically interested in a man who hated his job.........it's a red flag IMO for a successful relationship......
I would elminate them....because it rubs the wrong way.....if a man is unhappy with what he does in life, he is not gonna be too happy in anything else
ALOT of people must rub you the wrong way in general then. A significant (not ALL) number of people don't like their jobs, many can and do go back to school, train and change their careers. Others have children to prioritize and can't at the moment. Too blanket of a statement...too broad of a brush even as an opinion... in my opinion
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
If a prenup is fair, I think it's okay to ask someone to sign one if there is a significant difference in assets. I know someone who married a woman (mail order bride scenario) and he put the house in both their names. Marriage lasted a few years and when they divorced she got half the house that he bought. His financial situation isn't that great anymore. I don't know if a prenup would have protected him very much, though. I'm not a lawyer and don't know much about prenups.
A man that wants a mail order bride is kinda creepy IMO...& not really an equal relationship..........
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,581,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption
ALOT of people must rub you the wrong way in general then. A significant (not ALL) number of people don't like their jobs, many can and do go back to school, train and change their careers. Others have children to prioritize and can't at the moment. Too blanket of a statement...too broad of a brush even as an opinion... in my opinion
I'm sorry for that....BUT who I would or wouldn't date is not really the topic of my thread...........& I am in a committed relationship with my Bf so I don't date anyone else anyways.........shrugs.
The only time I didn't contribute equally financially, was when I was a stay at home mother. I still felt guilty, even though we had enough money for me to do that. So I was super mom and also did every other thing to maintain the house and family.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,581,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
But IF this is supposedly a romantic relationship turning into a marriage, I would likely break up with the guy, if he asked for a prenup. Clearly there's no trust if I'm expected to OK the guy's exit strategy. LOL That's how I'D feel about it. LOL
A prenup would be fair IMO. If we ever got married, it wouldn't be for his money & if he wanted me to do that over stuff he has before he met me, I would want him to know I would.......so thank you for bringing that up.........BUT we aren't engaged ..Lol.....
I wonder how much student loan debt she had? Teachers don't make tons of money. But even if he hadn't made payments on her debt, it still would have affected their joint finances in some ways. I would never marry someone who was paying child support or had massive student loans. I personally, dated mostly older men who were many years away from college and either didn't have kids or had adult children. I didn't want to marry someone else's financial baggage.
She obtained a master's degree. He had a high income job and I don't think minded assuming her student loan payments. It was the financial exploitation that caused him to become jaded. It was really too bad as the bitterness ended up affecting his relationships post divorce. They were relatively young and of course it never entered his mind that this could happen within one year of marriage.
I wouldn’t be in a relationship where I was contributing an unbalanced share of the money for expenses. It is on thing to be 51/49 in contributing by each party. I start to get suspicious if I notice I’m contributing 60% and the partner is contributing 40%. And yes I know how to calculate.
What happens if your partner/spouse develops cancer or is disabled or is ill and can't work? Would you kick them out because they aren't paying their fair share?
What if your partner/spouse loses their job? How many days or weeks would you "allow" them to be unemployed before you kick them out?
What if you become disabled/develop cancer/became seriously ill/lose your job/whatever how long before your partner/spouse should kick you out because you aren't paying your fair share of the expenses?
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,581,461 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
Plenty of people who don't have jobs, can and do walk out of bad marriages. Even without a financial cushion. A woman who stays home to take care of young children is not being "kept". She is making a financial contribution by providing childcare. Finances is not just about someone's job title or salary. A lot of high-earning professional people have massive debt. That's a liability right there. I dated a man who didn't like my secretarial job and thought I should earn more money, and that's why we broke up; he went on to marry a woman who owed 200,000 in student loans that he didn't know about until after he married her. He should have stuck with me, I had no debt. I hope he has fun helping her pay off her massive student loans.
Ita.....finding someone who is financially responsible & doesn't have a lot of debt is very important....for both people!!!! It's not always something you know....when you start dating a guy.......but it should defanitely come out in the open before the relationship gets serious.........along with a lot more stuff that should be in the open by then too.....
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