Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't know why anyone would want to forego sex in a romantic relationship, it is a lot of fun.
Go to a Christian Church and you may find one. My ex was one of those people. He was in his late 40’s and still a virgin.... He has been a Baptist all his life and still is.. My ex had very uptight views about sex and waiting until marriage. He wouldn’t even sleep in the same room with a woman unless marriage came first. I explained to him my reasons for not wanting to marry and he still didn’t care.
I couldn’t fathom not knockin’ boots in a romantic relationship, with two healthy/capable individuals
I dated a 28 year old man who was saving himself for marriage. It wasn't a fun or romantic relationship at all and he was one of the biggest jerks I've ever known.
I've known a lot of these "saving myself for marriage" types and the vast majority of them have porn addictions that they will even talk about openly. They see viewing porn as a lesser sin than having actual sex, for whatever reason. The best advice I can give anyone here is, do not get involved with these types of people.
I dated a 28 year old man who was saving himself for marriage. It wasn't a fun or romantic relationship at all and he was one of the biggest jerks I've ever known.
I've known a lot of these "saving myself for marriage" types and the vast majority of them have porn addictions that they will even talk about openly. They see viewing porn as a lesser sin than having actual sex, for whatever reason. The best advice I can give anyone here is, do not get involved with these types of people.
It's funny you should say that...
I knew someone, also a total jerk, who didn't believe in having sex before marriage, had a raging porn addiction and had even been to see a prostitute (a bit of a slip up lol).
I wouldn't ever get involved with a religious person with sexual hang ups.
I knew someone, also a total jerk, who didn't believe in having sex before marriage, had a raging porn addiction and had even been to see a prostitute (a bit of a slip up lol).
More than likely, he thought the visit to the prostitute "didn't count" as being pre-marital sex. He might have also not "gone all the way" with her and thought that didn't count, either.
I've been in a no-sex relationship: with my first girlfriend at age 18. I wasn't physically attracted to her at all. I never dated before, so when she showed interest, I just jumped at the chance. But I quickly learned how frustrating and tedious that relationship was. We had very little in common, she refused to ride public transit (while living in Chicago, no less), and she was stingy with physical affection. By that, I mean holding hands, snuggling, the kind of things I consider extremely important. Plus there was lack of physical attraction on my part. So there didn't seem to be a way to naturally progress into sex, especially considering that I lived at home at the time, and she had roommates. Well, she gave me my first real kiss, so the relationship at least had a net gain.
I ended up losing my virginity 2 years later, to a party hookup at another college. Took me a long time to stop grinning.
I am embarrassed to admit she turns away and gives me "the cheek". At the beginning she said she was in conversations with other guys on-line, and didn't want to send the wrong signals, but a few weeks in said she hadn't actually met anyone else face to face (this was like date #5 if I recall). My stance is that after 12 dates we know each other well enough to explore further.
Well, she's 50, never married, no kids, maybe she has some hang-up or something she's dealing with. It's like I am stuck in the friend-zone rut, without being told so, and it is not to my liking, not what I want, so I plan to bail.
my problem is i would feel guilty that if i bail, in societys mind it would prove that i am only after just one thing.
i'm glad i'm not in that situation. i wonder if i would force myself to be miserable just to not look like a perv.
Last edited by stanley-88888888; 08-29-2019 at 12:23 AM..
Reason: changed 'her mind' to 'societys mind'.
my problem is i would feel guilty that if i bail, in societys mind it would prove that i am only after just one thing.
i'm glad i'm not in that situation. i wonder if i would force myself to be miserable just to not look like a perv.
You are NOT a perv. Remember: "society" always favors women. It does NOT have your, or most men's, best interests at heart. So you can safely ignore most of its opinions.
All you're doing is protecting your dignity, because you want assurance that your date is genuinely attracted to you. Which it doesn't look like; otherwise, she wouldn't be turning her head during the kiss. I ghosted my dates who did that, and felt no guilt whatsoever.
You are NOT a perv. Remember: "society" always favors women. It does NOT have your, or most men's, best interests at heart. So you can safely ignore most of its opinions.
All you're doing is protecting your dignity, because you want assurance that your date is genuinely attracted to you. Which it doesn't look like; otherwise, she wouldn't be turning her head during the kiss. I ghosted my dates who did that, and felt no guilt whatsoever.
Yes, I'm afraid you've had the misfortune of being alive in the last 20 years or so when women have begun to be accorded a sliver of the fair treatment that they've not had for "millennia". It'll get "worse" before it gets better MU and OP so get used to women needing to be given the same level of regard and the same choices as men. Crazy, but it just might end up be a good thing for everyone involved.
Yes, I'm afraid you've had the misfortune of being alive in the last 20 years or so when women have begun to be accorded a sliver of the fair treatment that they've not had for "millennia". It'll get "worse" before it gets better MU and OP so get used to women needing to be given the same level of regard and the same choices as men. Crazy, but it just might end up be a good thing for everyone involved.
Yes, I'm afraid you've had the misfortune of being alive in the last 20 years or so when women have begun to be accorded a sliver of the fair treatment that they've not had for "millennia". It'll get "worse" before it gets better MU and OP so get used to women needing to be given the same level of regard and the same choices as men. Crazy, but it just might end up be a good thing for everyone involved.
I'll respond instead of those two posters, as you mentioned the "era" and "age" of last 20 years. I am in my early 30s, after all.
There has never been a better time OR place to be a guy than it is today in US of A or most other democratic, well-developed countries. And it's actually expected to get better and better. If there's a better place, it's probably Norway or Sweden, for very obvious reasons. If one wants to argue improvements for women, one should observe that these improvements, either in the last 20 or 200 years, are still eclipsed from incredible improvements in life quality, opportunities and/or choices for an average guy in that same period.
Being "misfortune" for being a guy in USA in 2019 is far from an understatement, it's outright false. And no, it's NOT so because of either legal or practical effort of political liberals, conservatives, feminists, or any other *ists or *ism that is usually thrown into the mix when this topic is mentioned. The most common *isms are actually the most active factors sabotaging a regular guy to have even more options and to overthrow any remaining burden forced upon him by society solely because he is born as a male.
All of this societal change is rather the result of general attitude of (vast majority of) guys and yes, it's quite related to rejection of a notion that your average guy is supposed to be expendable fodder for society OR a relationship (with a woman) to function. This also translates to voicing what they want, pursuing what they want, publicly rejecting roles and expectations that politicians AND women try to impose and legally enforce upon them. This is definitely the strongest factor that defines modern-day dating and norms for an average guy in society when mainstream dating is discussed. Guys who don't get it are ridiculed and bullied by other men. And they'll do terrible with women BECAUSE they don't get it... UNLESS they're really one-of-a-kind, way out of the league in terms of family inheritance/career success, physical looks and/or general character.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
