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Old 08-29-2019, 08:15 AM
 
181 posts, read 59,323 times
Reputation: 207

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I am at about 50/50


Also indicate if M or F
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Old 08-29-2019, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,945 posts, read 15,011,447 times
Reputation: 30113
15/85
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Old 08-29-2019, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Colorado
16,068 posts, read 10,317,435 times
Reputation: 29992
Some of my connections, there wasn't enough of a relationship thing for anybody to break up with anybody. Sometimes we just mutually drifted in different directions and nobody broke up with anybody else or it was a mutual choice so no one was getting dumped.

2 partners have "dumped" me.
I have "dumped" 17 partners.

I guess.

I don't really like the term "dumped." It implies the kind of immature and hurtful end of a relationship where someone breaks someone else's heart. But I counted any where one person definitively made a statement to end the relationship. I'm still quite good friends with some of the people I broke up with, and in at least some of my more recent situations I told them that I did not want to be a girlfriend to them anymore for whatever reasons I had at the time, but I wanted to be close friends, family-like, and I've been able to maintain that.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I am female.
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Old 08-29-2019, 09:20 AM
 
9,799 posts, read 4,467,724 times
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Just one, I asked for a divorce.
The rest, there was no ceremony of dump. When it’s not working it’s not.
I’m a Female.
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Old 08-29-2019, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Boulder, CO
2,070 posts, read 643,118 times
Reputation: 3478
Male, and I don't know. I want to say I dump 60% vs 40% dumped. But most of my relationships just fizzle out leaving no necessity for one or the other to say "I break with thee". They just sorta end organically with no harsh feelings (usually remaining friends of social media, for example).
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Old 08-29-2019, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,359 posts, read 5,148,407 times
Reputation: 6561
I've probably been dumped 80% of the time. Not good. That said, the last 2 I dumped. I think its because I finally know what I want and won't put up with being walked on. Most of the other times the relationship was bad for an extended period of time (a year or so) and they ended it. I've tended to stay in relationships that weren't working for too long.
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Old 08-29-2019, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Texas
13,494 posts, read 6,321,566 times
Reputation: 25940
What counts as being dumped? Someone who doesn't get a call after the first date or someone who is dumped in a real relationship that has lasted at least 3 months?
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Old 08-29-2019, 10:08 AM
 
1,329 posts, read 1,472,189 times
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EThe word about "dumping" doesn't bode well in my mind ib this context. I'd like to feel that I didn't "dump" anyone and wish to think I wasn't dumped that time when my ex (and first) GF was the one who broke up with me, though it definitely felt that way and it took me a few days to start feeling like I was "dumped" and this feeling got strongly entrenched for the next whole month. Today I somehow don't think so, or I rather don't care or overthink about it much. I can only hope that women think the same (women that I broke up with).

With that being said, I was the one who broke up every relationship that ended in my past, except my very first relationship. I am male, btw.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
What counts as being dumped? Someone who doesn't get a call after the first date or someone who is dumped in a real relationship that has lasted at least 3 months?
Bold part - that's generally a rejection, definitely not a breakup. Sometimes people do it before either person gets the chance to know even the most basic insights about each other and it's important to always have an exit strategy when you either feel like it's going to happen or when it in fact does happen (some people don't happen to realize that it even happened).

Last edited by nald; 08-29-2019 at 10:48 AM..
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Old 08-29-2019, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Colorado
16,068 posts, read 10,317,435 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
What counts as being dumped? Someone who doesn't get a call after the first date or someone who is dumped in a real relationship that has lasted at least 3 months?
I had to think about the verbiage thing, a bit, too.

I decided to count every one where someone had to make a definitive statement ending the connection. Have that uncomfortable conversation, featuring such classics as:

- I think we should see other people.
- This isn't working out.
- I can't keep doing this. I am done.
- I think you need to move out of my place.
- I am in love with someone else.
- I'm going to need my Star Trek DVDs back. You cannot keep them.
- No, I don't want to have sex once more, "For old times' sake."
- I hereby banish thee back to the Hell from whence you came! BEGONE.
- Through dangers untold and harships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen, for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great -- You have no power over me!

...etc.

Particularly where at least one person involved had some kind of clear expectation that it was a relationship, whether that was reasonable or not.

Among the 17 I counted that I "broke up with"...were some boys from my high school days who assumed despite being clearly told otherwise, that I was their girlfriend simply because we'd been sleeping together. And when I tried to set them straight, would not accept that I wasn't interested in a relationship, and I wound up just telling them I didn't want to see them anymore because clearly our expectations did not align.
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Old 08-29-2019, 11:57 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
18,221 posts, read 15,989,193 times
Reputation: 36815
I dumped more. Actually I would say I dumped 90% until I got out of my marriage. Things changed, I got dumped a few times since then. It hit me hard even when I wasn't totally in love and/or saw it coming. A huge blow to my ego. No bueno.
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