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After two months dating... I found out he still use Tinder. The last couple of 3 weeks I deleted tinder while I knew after our fourth date I would like to focus only on this guy.
I found out he still use tinder, cause he changed some of his pictures (so sad)... :'(
Before you guys attack me (I KNOW) we haven't had "the talk" yet and he is allowed to see other people... but we've been on 8-9 dates and I thought this was going somewhere. He even began calling me babe after the 3rd date, and we are texting each other honey, goodmorning, goodnight... we even act very couply.
I don't know what to do or how to handle this - how do I confront him? Should I even talk to him about it? What are my rights??
I suppose when I was younger, I spent way too much time worried about things (about people I dated), but never talked about them. Or, I assumed that they "knew what I meant" when I said something or did something... But guess what?
People are not mind readers.
As you get older, you learn that you should talk about things if something is bothering you. Communication is the key to any relationship. Secretly being bothered by stuff is not good.
That being said - there are smart ways and not so smart ways to bring stuff up...
Don't get mad. Don't get upset. Don't "confront" him...
One day - I would just say: "Hey, I noticed that your Tinder profile is still up, and you even have some new photos. Mind telling me what that is about?"
See what he says. Maybe he changed his photos after just 1 or 2 dates, and this isn't a big deal (you just didn't notice until now)... Or, maybe he is not that into you. Maybe he is a jerk.
You will never know until you ask...
But ASK nicely... Don't confront.
Last edited by MisterShipWreck; 06-19-2020 at 02:18 PM..
I know it doesn't feel great to see the guy you've been dating for a few months actively on a dating site, but unfortunately that's just life. He's in his full right to be on there, as are you but you chose to take your profile off. This is why when I wouldn't suggest doing something like that until you have both talked about it. Some people just keep their profiles up for ego boosts and are not actively looking, but I wouldn't assume that's what he's doing.
I think by the two month mark if you are seeing each other once or twice a week consistently it's fair to ask where this is going, and then judging by his reaction just take it from there.
After two months dating... I found out he still use Tinder. The last couple of 3 weeks I deleted tinder while I knew after our fourth date I would like to focus only on this guy.
I found out he still use tinder, cause he changed some of his pictures (so sad)... :'(
Before you guys attack me (I KNOW) we haven't had "the talk" yet and he is allowed to see other people... but we've been on 8-9 dates and I thought this was going somewhere. He even began calling me babe after the 3rd date, and we are texting each other honey, goodmorning, goodnight... we even act very couply.
I don't know what to do or how to handle this - how do I confront him? Should I even talk to him about it? What are my rights??
Please help!
If you deleted tinder, how do you know he was still going on it unless you installed it again to go there yourself?
Ok thanks guys... he texted me wanting to see me this weekend, I told him idk but will return to him if I could, he then asked if I was ok, I brushed it off, but I think I will be honest with him when we meet next time...I just need some time to digest this.
If you deleted tinder, how do you know he was still going on it unless you installed it again to go there yourself?
I need a private investigator what are your rates? lol ^^^
In regards to OP's post. You have two options, either confront him and be prepared for any outcome. He may delete it, he may not and hide it or make excuses/lie etc, is this something you are willing to go through?
If not then just accept that he may be chatting or even possibly dating other women. You don't change your profile pictures if you're not using the app. Yes it may be a ego thing for him to keep his profile, but the change of pictures hmm who is he trying to impress?
Whether you deleted the app, and downloaded it again, you done it for a reason, instincts. Listen to them.
If it is bugging you and you want to confront him, then do it the next time you meet up, and see how he responds.
If you have something on your mind, don't let it eat you. Discuss it with him and see if you have the same interests, if not find someone who does.
Ok thanks guys... he texted me wanting to see me this weekend, I told him idk but will return to him if I could, he then asked if I was ok, I brushed it off, but I think I will be honest with him when we meet next time...I just need some time to digest this.
Why are you brushing him off? He has done nothing wrong and you are placing your anger/frustration on him without him knowing why. Take him up on the invitation and tell him in an honest way you want to be exclusive. What you did is playing games and is not fair.
Ok thanks guys... he texted me wanting to see me this weekend, I told him idk but will return to him if I could, he then asked if I was ok, I brushed it off, but I think I will be honest with him when we meet next time...I just need some time to digest this.
Replying like that will let him know something is up.
Be calm and reply like normal. Just tell him sorry I was a bit off earlier (make up some excuse).
Wait until you meet him and then speak to him.
The eyes never lie, make sure you read them well
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