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I don't think that she doesn't like him. I think she's overthinking things. I think she ought to just get in touch and see if he wants to go on another date. I mean jeez, first dates can feel like job interviews, anyone might behave slightly awkward or nervous. If I met a guy and I didn't find him completely off-putting in some definitively serious way, I'd go on a second date with him. And I'd be willing to be the one to reach out and ask for it, too.
Also I would give dude the benefit of the doubt about the eyebrow thing. God, I'm an artist so I am apt to notice any detail you could imagine and compliment it. I'm not joking, I've told my fiance that I love the shape of his ears. The sound of his laugh. The warmth in his eyes when he smiles even a little bit at me. It's the little things, man. Maybe OP has some really sweet eyebrows. Or maybe the guy is following some kind of advice he got somewhere, but why assume the worst, huh?
I already texted him last night saying I had a good time, so I feel like the ball in his court.
I already texted him last night saying I had a good time, so I feel like the ball in his court.
*sigh* OK. Didn't you say that he responded with, "Me too!" Maybe he feels like he hit the ball back into YOUR court. Thing is, all of these little rules and games only known for sure by one person and leaving ??? in the mind of the other, though... Why not just communicate? I don't think it crosses a line into needy or desperate territory to, if you don't hear from him in a day or 2, shoot him a message asking, "Hey, would you like to get together again <timeframe>" with the timeframe being whenever you are next free, or just "soon."
He can't read your mind, you know. If I were in his shoes, I'd be wondering if you were just being polite, if you actually liked me, if the botched kiss was a sign of no enthusiasm, if you ever wanted to hear from me again or what. And guys are often told not to text a second time if they haven't got a response to their last message, so if the last word was him saying, "Me too!" then it's YOUR turn. No?
I think this is why I don't stay single for long and prefer to be nice and solidly partnered up, and how my friends do with their polyamory and whatnot looks exhausting to me. Just the constant overthinking and uncertainty of dating in general. Yeesh.
I think the kiss rejection was more awkward (considering you enjoyed the date), than the eyebrow comment. If I were in his shoes I'd think you were giving mixed signals, so I wouldn't be surprised if he moves on.
*sigh* OK. Didn't you say that he responded with, "Me too!" Maybe he feels like he hit the ball back into YOUR court. Thing is, all of these little rules and games only known for sure by one person and leaving ??? in the mind of the other, though... Why not just communicate? I don't think it crosses a line into needy or desperate territory to, if you don't hear from him in a day or 2, shoot him a message asking, "Hey, would you like to get together again <timeframe>" with the timeframe being whenever you are next free, or just "soon."
He can't read your mind, you know. If I were in his shoes, I'd be wondering if you were just being polite, if you actually liked me, if the botched kiss was a sign of no enthusiasm, if you ever wanted to hear from me again or what. And guys are often told not to text a second time if they haven't got a response to their last message, so if the last word was him saying, "Me too!" then it's YOUR turn. No?
I think this is why I don't stay single for long and prefer to be nice and solidly partnered up, and how my friends do with their polyamory and whatnot looks exhausting to me. Just the constant overthinking and uncertainty of dating in general. Yeesh.
I see your point, but A part of me also feels as though if the tables were turned and he sent me a text saying he had a good time and my response was just “me too!” with nothing else most people would be saying forget her she’s not interested.
I think the kiss rejection was more awkward (considering you enjoyed the date), than the eyebrow comment. If I were in his shoes I'd think you were giving mixed signals, so I wouldn't be surprised if he moves on.
In general I don’t really kiss on the first date, so it wasn’t personal it’s just something I don’t do, and I think there are lots of women who don’t kiss on the first date. I shouldn’t have to make out with someone in order to let them know it’s ok to ask me out on a second date, and I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for not feeling comfortable enough to kiss him yet
In general I don’t really kiss on the first date, so it wasn’t personal it’s just something I don’t do, and I think there are lots of women who don’t kiss on the first date. I shouldn’t have to make out with someone in order to let them know it’s ok to ask me out on a second date, and I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for not feeling comfortable enough to kiss him yet
Fair enough, you have every right to feel that way. Some guys may see it as rejection though regardless of your words.
So had first date off a dating app last night. It seemed to go well, can’t say I was that physically attracted to him but he was funny and had a nice personality so if asked I would go out with him again. Anyway, during the date he seemed interested, caught him staring at me a few times and conversation flowed well. Anyway in the middle of the date he gave me a compliment I never heard before from a man and said “you have great eyebrows” so of course I laughed cause it was just a funny compliment in my view. At the end of the night he walked me to my car, I wasn’t expecting him to try to kiss me but he did and I gave him the cheek because it took me a bit by surprise, so the rest of the goodbye was a bit awkward. When I got home I texted him thanking him for the drink and saying I had a good time (I typically don't do this, but after the attempted kiss it got awkward and I didn't get to thank him), his response was “me too!” and that was it.
While he is funny, he did seem a bit nervous at times during the date. Anyway he never mentioned a second date so we’ll see if he contacts me again…
Wow, great blog post. Do you want opinions on the eyebrow comment or the "is he going to call me?" phase that you are no doubt already going through?
The comment and his nervousness gives me a homo-sexual vibe, but eh we're working with limited details.
I don't think they'll be a second date. Most people have a bit of nervousness with a first date, but it should click off once you arrive and start to converse. If it doesn't click off, it was not meant to be.
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