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Old 09-10-2019, 06:32 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,859,305 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Isn't this exactly what the OP is doing, though? For someone with very little dating experience, it's probably best to just get out there and meet people (some of whom will be women) rather than ruling women out immediately because they don't fit a fantasy.
He is saying something very similar, and why is that ok? Why do we feel the need to protect him if someone says they aren’t attracted to Asian men, when he only is attracted to white women? Privilege guilt.
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Old 09-10-2019, 06:47 PM
 
Location: NC But Soon, The Desert
1,045 posts, read 757,834 times
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OP, I've seen Asian male/White female couples in NC but the Latinas stick with their own, or Black men.
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Old 09-11-2019, 06:43 AM
 
630 posts, read 525,154 times
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OP, moving to a large metropolitan area could certainly increase your prospects. I agree with all the post recommending using dating apps to narrow your searches. Even in the most progressive and diverse areas of the country, like SoCal where I live, most people stick to their own kind due to lack of opportunities, or the way they were brought up. That said, statistics don't tell you how you will do do with the ladies.
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Old 09-11-2019, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,905,499 times
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They are much less common than what TV commercials are showing these days. Mass manipulation maybe?
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Old 09-11-2019, 07:17 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,079,723 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
They are much less common than what TV commercials are showing these days. Mass manipulation maybe?
Why would they show them if they are not prevalent?

Media follows what is going on.

You never saw Kelly Bundy dating a black guy for a reason.

On another note... I was watching a TV show (which I've seen before) yesterday.

Can you imagine a television show in the year, say 1980, where a family of little people was followed around with cameras and treated like normal people?

Media influences EVERYTHING.

I look at the world around me and I feel proud of the changes that are being made.
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Old 09-11-2019, 07:33 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,079,723 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hackopotamus View Post
I agree. I was born in 1956 in rural New England. I experienced a great amount of racism growing up. All the standard anti-Asian remarks which I won't list here not to mention much worse treatment. Gave me a big chip on my shoulder and caused me to constantly wear dark sunglasses, hat and grow facial hair. Anything to cover up my looks.
It wasn't until I moved to CA that I felt some sense of relief and no longer felt on my guard all the time. I think that location will have a lot of impact for you. Even in CA though I have encountered the undesirability factor. I once had a friend set me up with his hairstylist. He told her about me and gave her my number. She called and we talked for over two hours and agreed to meet up for dinner. I figured he had told her I was Asian but I guess not. When i showed up at her door the look of disappointment was pretty obvious. I should have just bailed then but instead suffered through a torturous hour of non conversation (non-versation as David Spade would say) with her saying about five words the whole time. I can't count the amount of times I've been told, "You're a great guy, you're just not my type". I understand completely. People are attracted to what they are attracted to and you can't change that.

I no longer live in CA and pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm just not one of the lucky ones and will live out the rest of my life as a single man. It is what it is as they say.
Thanks for your story.

Sorry what you had to go through as a youth.

My niece and nephew are mixed and my sister is raising them in an area where she believes they will have the greatest chance of being accepted and integrated.

California, as a matter of fact, but there were some other choices.

Don't give up on the dating. You never know when you'll run into someone who will like you for who you are.
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Old 09-11-2019, 07:35 AM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,344,147 times
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A couple of things have come up in this discussion.

1. If a man, Asian, German, or African, is short and slightly built, then he will have fewer dating options than a man who's not. But I think the obstacle that presents can be overcome for the most part, and in any case I'm not sure we know how tall or how thin/muscular/fat the OP is, so it may not be relevant.

2. Personally, I think anyone who is only attracted to a well defined type or a single or narrow range of traits would be wise to challenge their beliefs and assumptions. It opens up options for them (the OP in this example) but it also lessens the risk that they see sexual or romantic partners as those traits they possess, and not as people.
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Old 09-11-2019, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Chicago
880 posts, read 531,016 times
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I personally don't see a problem with admitting you have a preference, like OP I am an Asian that doesn't have a preference to date other Asians...however as another commenter pointed out, as a female Asian I am seen as more of a commodity so having preferences doesn't really affect my dating pool.

OP's problem is location. I used to live in a city where all the single guys (the ones on the apps at least) seem to be uneducated, unemployed and undesirable. I had to drive an hour away to find a decent date. My preferences played no part in the lack of decent guys in that location.
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Old 09-11-2019, 09:13 AM
 
587 posts, read 422,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
A couple of things have come up in this discussion.

1. If a man, Asian, German, or African, is short and slightly built, then he will have fewer dating options than a man who's not. But I think the obstacle that presents can be overcome for the most part, and in any case I'm not sure we know how tall or how thin/muscular/fat the OP is, so it may not be relevant.
OP- how tall are you and your body frame. That is pretty relevant to dating options.

Really though, not all Asian guys are unattractive or nerdy.
Especially in places like LA/ Orange County, the Bay Area and Vancouver, where there's esp strong Asian presence there are also large subgroups of "Cool" Asian guys- they are Westernized (born in US or Canada), they are often athletic muscly and 6' tall, some even have swag. They are not nerdy or awkward like ones that you are more apt to see in Asia itself. Usually better looking face-wise as well (teeth and hair) than many of their counterparts. Seen plenty honestly good looking Westernized Asians, maybe the OP is like that too (or maybe not). Point is, not all Asian guys are geeky, scrawly or look like they just walked off the plane straight from Asia (not like there's anything wrong with that, but generally Americanized Asians look better imo)
I do find that majority of the better looking westernized Asians generally still stick with Asian women though.
location of course plays a role.
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Old 09-11-2019, 09:16 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,070 posts, read 10,085,392 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I am old and white, and I must say that I’ve never found Asian men attractive because I’m 5’10” and most Asian men are small in stature. I think most women instinctively are attracted to men who are taller and heavier than they are.

So OP also has to screen for petite women, which limits his options even more. If he is attracted to larger white women, there’s his problem.
This is certainly true even today. I am a male Asian average height for a female.

I did marry a woman who is 2 inches taller than I... I found that particularly impressive she was open to that idea.

My brother is actually shorter than I but he grew up in a more mixed (asian/indian) neighborhood which worked in his favor.
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