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You got lots of good advice there. You had a year to work on your issue, to implement some of the guidance.
It seems that your ex never really cheated on you. I know, that cyber cheating is as bad than real, but he has fantasized online. Some sort of midlife crisis. You both should have counseling then. With a bit of a good will the relationship was repairable. But instead you kept nagging and insulting him constantly and did nothing to work it out.
Now a year later you are living apart but you can't let the relationship go. Deep in your mind you want him back, but you can't forgive.
Either way you should seek counseling. Find a way to heal or forgive. Otherwise you will live a hell of a life, struggling.
You got lots of good advice there. You had a year to work on your issue, to implement some of the guidance.
It seems that your ex never really cheated on you. I know, that cyber cheating is as bad than real, but he has fantasized online. Some sort of midlife crisis. You both should have counseling then. With a bit of a good will the relationship was repairable. But instead you kept nagging and insulting him constantly and did nothing to work it out.
Now a year later you are living apart but you can't let the relationship go. Deep in your mind you want him back, but you can't forgive.
Either way you should seek counseling. Find a way to heal or forgive. Otherwise you will live a hell of a life, struggling.
The post last year was before he moved out. He moved out, we broke up 6 months and got back together 6 months. There are no more insults going on. I just can't get past the nagging feeling he is talking to someone online. There is no one that I can see.
The part I am leaving out is he doesn't really try to please me. It's almost like he doesn't care if I get mad or not. I feel I gave him a chance and it doesn't work for ME, that's why I want to break away. It's too painful having to date someone you can't trust. I don't think in reality he is really cheating, I just can't look at him the same way.
Wrong title of your thread. YOU don't WANT him to leave you alone.
You're old enough to know better and there are ways to succeed, but you want him to contact you.
Otherwise, since you are weak and you know that - you would change your phone number and block him on social media. You would not respond to him no matter what he writes.
You're sending him mixed messages and he is using your weakness to get back to you. He knows how to push your buttons.
Instead of moving on, you're torturing yourself. You know well that you don't have future with him, but you just can't let go.
Why don't you get busy with your life, occupy yourself in your free time, go out to meet/date new people and help yourself forget about him.
If you want future with someone else, then you need to make it happen.
The other option is to start a couple therapy with your ex (without letting him back in your home/life) and see if the relationship could be repaired. If he is serious about changes, if you both want to be together again, then this is the only way to work it out.
I don't get busy with my life because it's not that easy. I'm not exactly super social.
I know it can happen, I've broken up with people before and it has not affected me one bit. This is a torture day in and day out. I don't know how to make it happen.
He doesn't want to go to therapy. He isn't exactly a communicator.
I did go to therapy myself but stopped. The therapist left for another practice and that was the end of it.
Change your number. Until you really decide to get serious and go no contact you will "let" him get through. Date someone else, work on a hobby. Move on or don't. Staying in limbo sucks. Either get him out and get married. Make a choice.
Just BLOCK his number already! You're literally just keeping yourself on this merry go round until you block him. If you can't do it yourself, take your phone to Verizon or Sprint or whomever the service is with, and tell them to do it for you. Or ask a friend of yours to do it.
Either way, stop this yourself or else stop complaining about it.
Well part of me really doesn't want to. I still miss what we have and I wish we were still together.
That said, I have not contacted him in two months. He still texts me 2-3 times a week. All texts have gone unanswered.
But you've read those texts, right?
Don't do that to yourself. Block him. Do it today. Then make a conscious effort to drive him out of your mind and watch the weight start to lift from your shoulders.
Why don't you just block his ph#? If he then uses another ph# to get in touch with you hang up and block that ph# too. Obviously you still have feelings for this person and that's why it's so hard.You're human BUT keep remembering WHY you broke up with him in the first place.The longer you keep going on and on and back and forth with this guy, you will NOT then meet the much better partner that you were meant to meet.Stop wasting your precious time with this jerk.You need to be stronger and let him go! How you do it it is you need to find that strength within you.Only you can do it..no one else can.
You need to parent yourself better. Block him if you can’t move on and forgive him. You are falling into the trap of just giving in because it’s easier.
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