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This is more a dating thing, rather than relationships. Men who have dogs trying to convince me I'll love their dog when it's a dealbreaker for me (I'm scared of them and can't live with one after one too many dog bites.)
I mean there are little things that one deals with in any relationship, like having to consider someone else's needs in making your future life plans and structuring your free time with them in mind, and different housekeeping standards. But I'm finding that in a good relationship like the one I have now, they are not quite worth peeving over.
Yet oddly there are challenges now, that I didn't have when I was in a bad relationship. Since I was not deeply in love, and had a lot of emotional barriers up against my ex for really the duration of our years together...I wasn't that invested in what he thought of me, on various levels. It is hard to care a great deal about what someone else thinks, and worry and wonder if they are holding back discontent...just the fact that you can't read someone's mind. Is he happy with me? Am I meeting all of his needs? Would he tell me if he were bothered by something, or would he just go along to get along because being with me is better than being alone? Am I truly what he wants or just the best that he could get? It's easy to have no insecurities at all, when you don't care what someone thinks, when some part of you knows you're not even in a good relationship with a good person, and eventually it'll probably end. When you're in love, it MATTERS, these things. I always say that vulnerability and trust are necessary for real intimacy to exist...but that also brings with it, fear, because no one can mind read to know if the things we want to be true, really ARE. Some people get insecure and afraid about concepts like infidelity. I get insecure and afraid that I would be trapped in a relationship with someone who didn't even really want me...that even were he disappointed with me, he would not let me go.
I guess maybe a more accurate way to describe this "peeve" is that if one has psychological baggage and triggers to insecurities, that were most likely planted in one's childhood (as mine were) then the vulnerability of being in love will often expose them and force one to do battle with such demons. And while that is probably more healthy, to confront such things and learn to manage or resolve them...it strips away the luxury of being lazy and forces one to do the work.
Also I wish he would come up with a freaking suggestion when we go eat out, rather than expecting me to be the only one ever who decides where we are going. I hate having to try and make decisions when I'm so hungry I can barely think straight.
When he turns into a huge parking lot and I suggest to park in the back where it is empty and no one will scratch the vehicle. He drives to the front rows, curses because there are people walking and people parking and we spend 5 minutes driving around there. Then he says he doesn't want his car scratched and then drives to the back and parks where I suggested.
And does this EVERY SINGLE TIME.
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. I’m not a deep guy with a lot to say.
