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That's what I keep trying to say, man. The point of getting involved in STUFF is that you've got a way to show to a wider group of humans (which presumably includes some women) some aspect of who you are, absent the pressure of a cold and awkward intro to a stranger.
Like those kinds of introductions are where people judge based on looks, because they've got NOTHING else to talk about. The point of doing the activity-based stuff, is that you begin with something to talk about. It's built in. There is no "I never got a chance to see if we had anything in common, because she ignored me based on my looks." You already know you've got something in common and can launch a conversation from that point.
I've made tons of friends at concerts where I was there to see my favorite band. TONS. If I were available, I could tap that area of my life for dating options, bigtime.
Why does it make you mad when people respond to your complaining, by giving you advice? Daring to challenge your "there's no hope" script is seriously that offensive to you?
And no, I'm not going to let it stand without pushing back. Because there are guys who have a hard time, who need to hear that it isn't hopeless. Because I know tons of ugly people who nonetheless have fulfilling relationships. Because the man I love nearly killed himself in his 20's because he was pretty well convinced no woman would ever love him, and it SUCKS that he had to suffer that much, and while it took a long ass time, he did eventually find everything he ever dreamed of and more, and I only wish I could have given it to him sooner.
I will push back because there is no telling who is reading this, and whether I'm talking to you or anybody else, I do not believe that anyone is doomed to failure and that there is literally NOTHING they can do to change that. LOL Not in my America, brother! (was I just channeling a smidge of Hulk Hogan? I felt like I was... "Brother!")
And maybe I'm "bitching at you" because I care. I don't even know you, but I care. What are you gonna do about it? You can block me and my Tony Robbins BS any time you want. Ain't gonna stop me. I know my wishes and hopes are about as useful as a heap of "thoughts and prayers" but I still hope for everybody to find their happily ever after in the end, guess I'm just a Pollyanna like that.
You know, this is right, but not the whole story. As I am re-entering the sorta mono dating world, I find many, many men who are looking for a woman to fill a void. To the bolded, the point of doing STUFF should be to BE who you are. Many women can see right through sideways attempts at looking like something you are not. So you are spot on that looks are a very common pity party excuse. But the advice then to do stuff to get women will ultimately be likely to fail if it is insincere. If the stuff you are doing is just to meet people who might like you.
My friend tried to set me up with her he didn’t tell her.
I would not talk to Brad Pitt OR the so-called friend if put in this situation. Why does your friend think you are a pity case?
Quote:
I wasn’t all that attracted to her but I figured let me strike a convo if we’re gonna be sitting next to each other for three hours and she wanted no part of the conversation.
And of course, there is no possible other reason than your looks. Right?
I don't understand why you're so sure she didn't speak to you because of your looks. Maybe you weren't making eye contact (or were making too much eye contact.) Maybe she had a migraine. Maybe you had a mean look on your face or reminded her of her brother that she doesn't get along with. There are dozens of reasons why she didn't engage with you at that moment, but you insist it's because you are "hideous."
Or maybe ... ANYTHING. Maybe she was righteously pissed at being "set up" in this way. Maybe he smells bad.
Because being hit on doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in high demand or beautiful..
Most guys when horny and want sex will approach any women who isn’t a total train wreck. When I was single and needed sex I’d actually hit on the less attractive women because there was better chance they’d be down for a one night stand...
Is this really the world you live in? It must be hard work.
Appease my ego? It’s called trying to be a decent human being. I didn’t know that’s crazy to ask from somebody.
How about this for being a decent human being. Her supposed FRIEND attempted to set her up without telling her. And all you can think about is poor you and how ugly you must be.
How about this for being a decent human being. Her supposed FRIEND attempted to set her up without telling her. And all you can think about is poor you and how ugly you must be.
I would not have talked to you either.
I don’t know if she was ever aware it was a setup.
I don’t know if she was ever aware it was a setup.
Exactly. Funny that you focus on how bad she is but not how bad your "friend" is for putting her in that situation. I can promise you that she picked up the weird vibe.
Exactly. Funny that you focus on how bad she is but not how bad your "friend" is for putting her in that situation. I can promise you that she picked up the weird vibe.
I yelled at him afterwards for making things awkward for me.
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