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(I'm not married, so take comments for what it's worth.)
Why not start having "fun" on weekdays without wife? She can really only control whether she chooses not to go out.
Or, as others have suggested, maybe you can sneak in a grocery store run on Wed and a load of laundry on Thu. It could both free up time on weekend and (perhaps) encourage wife to want to balance weekday chores with a weekday date night....
Maybe it's just me, but what is wrong with doing things on work nights?
I agree. Go out a couple nights each week.
Dinner, a movie, a concert, play cards with friends... all sorts of things.
And on the weekend? Go play tennis or golf or fish while the hired help does the work.
Plan to go to a concert or whatever by yourself or a male friend. Do that a couple of times and she'll probably join you next time.
People have their routines, and this isn't necessarily her being "controlling." I would like to go out and do fun things on Sunday evenings, but my husband likes to do household chores and prep for his workweek on Sundays. That's just how he likes to do it. Sometimes I plan something and he'll agree to it but usually I just don't bother going out or I'll plan something with friends. Not a dealbreaker for me.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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My guess is, she really doesn't want to do the concerts and dates, but feels like she can't outright say that so she says only on weekends, and then often she finds other ways to avoid it.
Does she ever initiate them herself?
Do you tend to do stuff that you want to do, but she has no real interest in, even dreads?
I wouldn't be surprised if the OP doesn't have a lot of friends to do stuff with on weeknights without his wife.
There is a way to approach this conflict, OP, but it won't work if you really don't value your own needs enough (i.e. "hate confrontation") to the point that you won't even broach the topic with her.
You need to reach a compromise, and the only way for a compromise to work is for each side to accept that the others side's want/need is important. So you both have to listen to each others' reasons for wanting what you want and discuss some kind of agreement to try something different.
Call it a date night. Take her flowers or whatever she likes, plan dinner, foreplay all week with amazing sex before and/or after the function. You have been married a long time, so you know how to get what you want from her.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2bFair
At times...truth be told, this "marriage" seems to have become more a "business" arrangement...where we both feel "cheaper to keep'em"...not ideal, but economics!
Just curious, but what does this mean? Are you trying to introduce new things into your marriage because you are bored? Of course, I could be reading too much into this.
Oh no, no. There are too many good concerts that happen on a weeknight. Just two nights ago my spouse and I went to see a 75 year old jazz drummer with his band. He'd been a member of a famous fusion band of the 70s. And he still had it! Anyway. My point is, most of the "listening room" type concerts we like to go to happen on weekdays.
Restaurants are less crowded on weeknights (usually), and you'll get more attentive service.
Happy hours tend to happen on weekdays, not weekends.
Discount movie nights are on Tuesdays in my neck of the woods.
What about Thursdays? Many people like to kick off their weekend with a little Thursday night fun.
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