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1. She blows smoke up my ass knowing she’s not necessarily ready for something but likes me enough to want to keep me around for now
What has she been saying TO YOU? Has she, in fact, committed to a relationship with you? Or you are worried that someday this may happen?
I mean, trust is a sticky thing.
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2. She thinks she’s ready for a relationship, acts like it with me, seems happy, and then decides nope this isn’t for me anymore I’d rather be single and I’m already invested because she indicated I could be
See here's the thing. You need to get this. There are no guarantees. She may want a relationship, act like it because it's the case, then feel differently later. This is a Real Thing. It is not actually all that uncommon for men to get fairly complacent once they get the commitment part. Then they start phoning in the remainder of the relationship. Or as you get to know each other, EITHER of you may find you are not what the other wants. And This is A Good Thing.
It sounds like you really don't want to hear this. No one can tell you what SHE is thinking or doing or whatever. There ARE no guarantees. Learnign that will increase your happiness with this woman or another.
And yea I’ve been burned before. A couple of times. There is nothing like one day thinking your girlfriend is in love with you and wants a long relationship with you and without ever communicating anything, ending things with you. The mind**** is horrible, if that’s even a strong enough word to use.
I was asking my friends girlfriend what her deal is. Asked how long she’s been single and she came out and said she’s been single but in a few different short term flings and elaborated a bit. Didn’t really say it in a watch your back way more of a matter of fact way.
In that case it doesn’t sound too bad. Just a couple years of casual dating and possible false starts after a long term college relationship imo. Like others were saying there are never any guarantees and you’ll cope with your being gunshy much better by living your life rather than pursuing an impossible task of never any risk.
1. She blows smoke up my ass knowing she’s not necessarily ready for something but likes me enough to want to keep me around for now
2. She thinks she’s ready for a relationship, acts like it with me, seems happy, and then decides nope this isn’t for me anymore I’d rather be single and I’m already invested because she indicated I could be
Why would you get a guarantee that everything will go your way when none of the rest of us get that? You can't predict that it wont be you who wants to move on from her after beginning a relationship.
The only way to know and learn is to just do it. If you're afraid that you can't handle the consequences, then don't.
Sonic. I love you. But the idea that we are supposed to give someone a chance is pure and unadulterated BS. I mean, if YOU want to do that, go for it. But the idea that society says we should, or hapless dudes say we should does not mean we should. And I don't know a single other female that thinks we should.
I don't think she is the one saying that women are to "give someone a chance".
What I read from it was that women are told to give someone a chance and then if it turns out bad, then she is told that she made a bad choice.
If anything, it sounds like she disagrees with "giving someone a chance".
Why would you get a guarantee that everything will go your way when none of the rest of us get that? You can't predict that it wont be you who wants to move on from her after beginning a relationship.
The only way to know and learn is to just do it. If you're afraid that you can't handle the consequences, then don't.
He has a history of getting abruptly cut off and she has a history of abruptly cutting people off. Is that really so hard to understand or empathize with?
What has she been saying TO YOU? Has she, in fact, committed to a relationship with you? Or you are worried that someday this may happen?
I mean, trust is a sticky thing.
See here's the thing. You need to get this. There are no guarantees. She may want a relationship, act like it because it's the case, then feel differently later. This is a Real Thing. It is not actually all that uncommon for men to get fairly complacent once they get the commitment part. Then they start phoning in the remainder of the relationship. Or as you get to know each other, EITHER of you may find you are not what the other wants. And This is A Good Thing.
It sounds like you really don't want to hear this. No one can tell you what SHE is thinking or doing or whatever. There ARE no guarantees. Learnign that will increase your happiness with this woman or another.
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Originally Posted by RbccL
Why would you get a guarantee that everything will go your way when none of the rest of us get that? You can't predict that it wont be you who wants to move on from her after beginning a relationship.
The only way to know and learn is to just do it. If you're afraid that you can't handle the consequences, then don't.
I’m not looking for a guarantee. I’m asking if this past behavior indicates a propensity to do the sort of things I said above.
If somebody has had mostly long term relationships you could infer that they are good with commitment, loyal, know what they want, things along those lines.
Somebody like this girl that is a bit of a mixed bag (relationships as a teenager and a serious one in college) along with this fling to fling stuff is blurring the picture for me. Hence why I came here
He has a history of getting abruptly cut off and she has a history of abruptly cutting people off. Is that really so hard to understand or empathize with?
We don't know that. But while one can empathize, one can still have an opinion about it in regards to this example.
I’m not looking for a guarantee. I’m asking if this past behavior indicates a propensity to do the sort of things I said above.
If somebody has had mostly long term relationships you could infer that they are good with commitment, loyal, know what they want, things along those lines.
See. I would not infer this. I might infer this. I might infer that they are co-dependant. I might infer that they are conflict averse. I might infer that they fear change...
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Somebody like this girl that is a bit of a mixed bag (relationships as a teenager and a serious one in college) along with this fling to fling stuff is blurring the picture for me. Hence why I came here
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
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Originally Posted by RickyW;56252502/
If somebody has had mostly long term relationships you could infer that they are good with commitment, loyal, know what they want, things along those lines
We don't know that. But while one can empathize, one can still have an opinion about it in regards to this example.
Why do you think he is lying?
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