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Today my girlfriend and her family left for Vegas and this was a trip that they'd been planning for a few weeks. They invited me, but I declined, citing the pandemic and that a casino is one of the last places that I'd want to be when with Covid still around. Even though I'm young, I still have a history of asthma and I've been taking quarantine very seriously.
My girlfriend didn't make a big deal out of me not going, but her parents seemed offended by it for some reason. I just politely told them that I'm not interested, but they didn't seem to like that answer, though I never did hear about it from them again...until today.
I went over to their house earlier today to bid my girlfriend goodbye, but it didn't go well. As I was talking to her, her dad came out and said to me "Sorry, we don't let paranoid freaks on our trips with us." I just ignored him, but then her mom came out and they both staged a loud conversation about how Covid is no worse than the flu and that the people who quarantine are brainwashed sheep. They were trying to get a rise out of me and I was really trying to ignore them, but then her dad said to me "We don't want you on our trip because you'd just ruin it by wearing a mask everywhere you go."
At that point, I just lost it and I yelled at her parents that I hope they both catch Covid and die. I stormed off and I've been ignoring my girlfriend's calls and texts for the past couple of hours, but then I saw her most recent text saying "Don't even think about contacting me while we're gone." I've tried getting a hold of her after that, but now she's ignoring me. I honestly feel like I just ruined our relationship. Is there anything I can do to fix this?
While I can understand that they provoked you, and they were being ignorant...YOU told them you hoped they got sick and died. 2 wrongs here, but you can only apologize for your part in it. And IMO, that's the only thing that will fix it.
If it were me, I would text her something like "I hope you all have a great time in Vegas. When you come back, I'd like the opportunity to apologize to you and your family. I feel terrible about what I said."
Definitely inappropriate, and really rather childish, behavior on their part. But instead of letting it get to you, and yelling at them, you should have left. You did a good job of keeping your cool up to a certain point. At that point, you should have excused yourself, and wished them a happy trip, while waving goodbye.
So, can you fix this? Well....think about it. Do you want to fix it, now that you know what her parents are like? Do you want a LTR with someone, whose parents are so crazy-rude? What would a future together for the two of you look like, with them in the picture? Especially if you're not able to control yourself, when they rather obviously try to bait you?
But assuming you really want to be with your gf, for whatever reason (I assume you two get along well...?), then...IDK, OP. I don't know if it's fixable. It would only be fixable, if they accept your apology, which they may not. Do you really want to grovel to these people, just to get her back? Are you able to imagine yourself groveling? What's for sure, is that you'll never be able to go on a simple outing of any sort with them during Covid (basically--for the next year and a half, or so), because they'll wig out when they see you put on a mask.
It's a tough situation. Sorry I can't be of more help.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-07-2020 at 02:37 PM..
You should not have said what you said to them. The relationship is probably over. You can’t unsay things like that. On the other hand, you will never have to deal with them again. If you’d married they’d be in your life forever.
How much do you want this girl, her parents are part of the package, if you get married. They sound like idiots.
The apple does not fall far from the tree, maybe this is the way she also thinks, but has not discussed it with you.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I think your girlfriend should be more furious with her parents than you. Yeah, you said something that won’t be forgotten but they escalated the matter up to that point. She’s likely done with you but really should be ripping her parents a new one, I know I would be.
OP, in my opinion, you should still ask for the opportunity to apologize, because what you said was not right. I get that you were provoked, but you wished death on these people. If your GF gives you the chance, apologize to them, and to your GF for saying that.
Whether it gets your GF back, or not, I don't know. But to me, it's about YOU being the grown up and doing the right thing, even though GF's parents were NOT being the grownups, and acted in an ignorant way.
I get it though. I have cousins that like to talk about the sheeple, and the mask wearers, etc. I just roll my eyes.
Today my girlfriend and her family left for Vegas and this was a trip that they'd been planning for a few weeks. They invited me, but I declined, citing the pandemic and that a casino is one of the last places that I'd want to be when with Covid still around. Even though I'm young, I still have a history of asthma and I've been taking quarantine very seriously.
My girlfriend didn't make a big deal out of me not going, but her parents seemed offended by it for some reason. I just politely told them that I'm not interested, but they didn't seem to like that answer, though I never did hear about it from them again...until today.
I went over to their house earlier today to bid my girlfriend goodbye, but it didn't go well. As I was talking to her, her dad came out and said to me "Sorry, we don't let paranoid freaks on our trips with us." I just ignored him, but then her mom came out and they both staged a loud conversation about how Covid is no worse than the flu and that the people who quarantine are brainwashed sheep. They were trying to get a rise out of me and I was really trying to ignore them, but then her dad said to me "We don't want you on our trip because you'd just ruin it by wearing a mask everywhere you go."
At that point, I just lost it and I yelled at her parents that I hope they both catch Covid and die. I stormed off and I've been ignoring my girlfriend's calls and texts for the past couple of hours, but then I saw her most recent text saying "Don't even think about contacting me while we're gone." I've tried getting a hold of her after that, but now she's ignoring me. I honestly feel like I just ruined our relationship. Is there anything I can do to fix this?
They did you the biggest kindness in the world by showing what kind of people they were.
You marry someone, you marry that person's family, too. Are these the kinds of people with whom you want to spend holidays for the next umpteen years?
You might not have handled it in the best way, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She's likely going to wind up just like them.
You can do better. Surely you're not so desperate that you'd get involved with a family like that, are you?
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 10-07-2020 at 02:55 PM..
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