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Ever since my teens, I've never felt completely comfortable with my body. I wasn't exactly skinny but I've always wanted to be larger and have more muscle.
In these last 2 years, I've been putting a lot of effort into going to the gym and I'm seeing results, even though I'm not where I want to be. But I do have a lot more muscle now.
I decided I wouldn't date seriously until I felt at ease with how my body looks. However, I was discussing this with my step-sister with whom I'm close and she says it doesn't make any sense. She also says this is all in my head and that I will be completely satisfied with my body, that I'll just want more and more muscles.
Should we be comfortable with ourselves before even considering dating other people?
Ever since my teens, I've never felt completely comfortable with my body. I wasn't exactly skinny but I've always wanted to be larger and have more muscle.
In these last 2 years, I've been putting a lot of effort into going to the gym and I'm seeing results, even though I'm not where I want to be. But I do have a lot more muscle now.
I decided I wouldn't date seriously until I felt at ease with how my body looks. However, I was discussing this with my step-sister with whom I'm close and she says it doesn't make any sense. She also says this is all in my head and that I will be completely satisfied with my body, that I'll just want more and more muscles.
Should we be comfortable with ourselves before even considering dating other people?
I'm sure you're fine as is, OP. You've seen improvement, so take heart in that, or this could lead to an endless cycle of not being buff enough. It's called "body dysmorphic disorder", where you chronically see room for improvement, and obsess on that. Why put your life on hold, when women will see you as just fine as you are now? You can improve if you want, but there's no need to delay seeking a partner in the meantime. You can do both at the same time, if so inclined.
Ever since my teens, I've never felt completely comfortable with my body. I wasn't exactly skinny but I've always wanted to be larger and have more muscle.
In these last 2 years, I've been putting a lot of effort into going to the gym and I'm seeing results, even though I'm not where I want to be. But I do have a lot more muscle now.
I decided I wouldn't date seriously until I felt at ease with how my body looks. However, I was discussing this with my step-sister with whom I'm close and she says it doesn't make any sense. She also says this is all in my head and that I will be completely satisfied with my body, that I'll just want more and more muscles.
Should we be comfortable with ourselves before even considering dating other people?
Yes, of course we should. But people aren't ideal.
You do need to be mostly satisfied with yourself. Insecurity can wreck a relationship.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hwdrk
Ever since my teens, I've never felt completely comfortable with my body. I wasn't exactly skinny but I've always wanted to be larger and have more muscle.
In these last 2 years, I've been putting a lot of effort into going to the gym and I'm seeing results, even though I'm not where I want to be. But I do have a lot more muscle now.
I decided I wouldn't date seriously until I felt at ease with how my body looks. However, I was discussing this with my step-sister with whom I'm close and she says it doesn't make any sense. She also says this is all in my head and that I will be completely satisfied with my body, that I'll just want more and more muscles.
Should we be comfortable with ourselves before even considering dating other people?
I do think there is something to be said about getting comfortable with yourself before actively dating. There is nothing wrong with that but I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss it if someone liked you where you are at and didn’t mind an imperfect body.
I'm sure you're fine as is, OP. You've seen improvement, so take heart in that, or this could lead to an endless cycle of not being buff enough. It's called "body dysmorphic disorder", where you chronically see room for improvement, and obsess on that. Why put your life on hold, when women will see you as just fine as you are now? You can improve if you want, but there's no need to delay seeking a partner in the meantime. You can do both at the same time, if so inclined.
I'm just afraid of giving it a try and then finding out I'm much more uncomfortable with my body than I thought I was.
Until a few years ago I would not even consider taking my shirt off around very close friends and I knew there was nothing horrible about my looks.
So you've never had a sexual experience where someone else has seen your body?
With "normal" women there has only been kissing. But it was always while going out at night, so we might have been carried away by the alcohol and the environment. Not sure if they would have been interested in me in broad daylight and being completely sober.
I've had sex with escorts but I didn't care much about my body then because I know it's just business for them. They won't give a second thought to my body and I'm sure they have seen a lot worse.
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