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Romance is a fallacy. Someone can DO something romantic, but applying romance to attraction, no.
Who wants to cuddle for 12 hours? That sounds like people that didn't have loving parents during their childhood. Do you and him have jobs?
Roses once a week? That dude needs to save his money for a downpayment on a house and stop trying so hard. LOL if you and him start getting serious and he continues the roses thing and you dump him down the road, I can totally see this guy thinking, "damn, that was a lot of money down the drain. Now she is banging someone else". Haha! This guy needs to wake up. Seriously.
Ugh cuddling is the worst... I’ll cuddle with my young daughters but for adults no way. When I’m sleeping at night I want nothing on me or touching me but just my preference as I run hot.
Ugh cuddling is the worst... I’ll cuddle with my young daughters but for adults no way. When I’m sleeping at night I want nothing on me or touching me but just my preference as I run hot.
LMAO I run hot too - infact i frequently overheat in many normal situations but my bf loves to cuddle. its his love language so i crank up the AC and turn the fan on lol. We can now cuddle as much as he needs
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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O.P...Isn’t romantic attraction & sexual attraction the same? IMO...it is...because how can you be romantic with someone you aren’t sexually attracted to?
As a woman,you NEED to know if your partner is attracted to you sexually,because if not,you will lots of problems down the road.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
Did we just read the same thing?
It said psychological.
Meaning,it could be based on his attraction to his partner.
You are really stuck on this idea. Look, if a guy has ED issues (sometimes or always) the first thing to rule out is medical causes. You said he's obese. 300 pounds. You do know what happens for a man to get it up, right? Blood flow. You get that? You know who is at very serious risk of heart and circulatory conditions? Obese people. So that is the first, easiest, and most likely cause right there. If he's doing all of this stuff for you, he obviously is attracted to you enough to want to keep you happy and keep you in his life. Men don't do things like that for women they think are fugly, who turn them OFF.
I'm with a guy who is 20 years older than me. His equipment sometimes needs more attention than a younger guy to get going and sometimes it just ain't gonna happen. But I know that he finds me attractive and sexy, because of how he speaks and acts towards me. And because I am patient and understanding with him, he is a very devoted and attentive lover, and even if his plumbing is being uncooperative, he's happy to do other things that feel good for both of us. It's really bad form as a lover, to take it personally if someone's junk just happens to not be doing what you think it should. As people age, men and women both, things change anyways. Don't think for a minute that older people simply lose interest in sex because things don't get as hard or wet as they once did.
I promise you that a man's sexual function is not all wrapped up in how attractive he does, or doesn't, find his partner. There are other factors. If he says he finds you beautiful, and he's doing all of these loving things, you need to trust him.
And before you start pushing back, I believe I am experienced and educated enough to be a subject matter expert on this. How many books have you read on human sexuality? I've read dozens. I've taught classes and attended classes, I'm involved in a community of thousands of people who geek out constantly on advanced and unusual sexual techniques and relationship dynamics, to say nothing of how many partners I've had. I know of what I speak.
If you partner with a man who has ED issues for whatever reason, and he feels nervous and under pressure to perform for you, because you are not patient or loving or understanding of his situation, it's going to be even more likely that he'll experience difficulties. If you can't be that for him, and you insist on taking this personally and making it all about whether you're pretty or not, you should move on. But to be honest, if you really love him, the more significant issue is the health concerns he could have because of his weight, not just what's going on in his pants. Finding his way to a healthier weight might require more support and encouragement than you may be willing/able to offer. Have you thought about that?
As a woman,you NEED to know if your partner is attracted to you sexually,because if not,you will lots of problems down the road.
Why would it be about you? Give this poor guy, who's showing so much devotion to you, a break, by not making it all about you! He said he had the problem before he met you, so obviously, it's not about you. Get a clue. On your next doctor's appointment, ask your doctor about this, for your own information. You need a better understanding of male physiology.
You haven't answered questions about how old the two of you are; let's expand that to include questions about his health and weight; diabetes can cause ED issues, for example. Obesity can cause diabetes. We (including you) need to look at the bigger picture, here.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-02-2019 at 09:21 AM..
Why would it be about you? Give this poor guy, who's showing so much devotion to you, a break, by not making it all about you! He said he had the problem before he met you, so obviously, it's not about you. Get a clue. On your next doctor's appointment, ask your doctor about this, for your own information. You need a better understanding of the male anatomy.
You haven't answered questions about how old the two of you are; let's expand that to include questions about his health and weight; diabetes can cause ED issues, for example. Obesity can cause diabetes. We (including you) need to look at the bigger picture, here.
Untreated high blood pressure can cause issues, and many meds to treat high blood pressure also do.
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